Faramir Fiction Archive

When Darkness Falls (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

10 April 2008 | 42956 words

Title: When Darkness Falls Chapter 9/?
Authors: Sairalinde & Anorienbean
Fandom: LOTR
Characters: Faramir/Haldir
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Non-con in this chapter, violence
Disclaimer: No money was made from this, and the characters all belong to the late, great Mr. JRR Tolkien and his estate.
Summary: Faramir and Haldir join the Fellowship and vow to do everything in their power to see the one ring destroyed. Things get complicated, however, when they fall in love almost immediately, and vow to protect one another as well. When the ring accidentally falls into Faramir’s possession, Haldir realizes that he can’t do both.
Warning: TOTALLY non-canon.

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Faramir rolled onto his back and stared up at the stars for a long time hoping that sleep would come soon. Haldir was beside him, sleeping deeply, and by looking at him quiet peacefully. Sighing heavily, Faramir rolled onto his side and snuggled closer to Haldir under the blanket. He could feel his lover’s naked skin against his own and he found himself snuggling even closer savoring the feeling. Even though just a few hours before they’d made love, he was already feeling his arousal growing. Well if you can’t sleep there are worse things a person could do. He thought for a moment and grinned.

Leaning forward he pressed his lips against Haldir’s shoulder as his hand traveled down and gripped his hip, pulling Haldir back flush against Faramir’s rapidly growing arousal. His hips thrust forward over and over again, enjoying the friction and warmth of his lover’s skin against him.

Just as Faramir leaned up to whisper against his lover’s ear to see if he might be at all interested, Haldir shifted away from him and rolled onto his stomach. Groaning in frustration, Faramir flipped onto his back to stare at the stars again. He knew Haldir was tired; he was too but sleep just wouldn’t come to him… and now it certainly wouldn’t be coming to him for quite a while yet.

He hadn’t touched himself since he’d met Haldir; though his hand did slid down his own stomach to stroke the hard length there. Closing his eyes he wondered if it would bother Haldir terribly if he sought release like this since he couldn’t wake his husband.

His mind seemed to stick on the word husband for a bit and his hand stilled. It wouldn’t be right, he decided and sighed again.

Rolling back over he let his hand trail down Haldir’s back and a smile touched Faramir’s lips as even in his sleep Haldir arched into it. The reaction didn’t seem to help Faramir’s situation either and he found himself biting his lower lip for a moment.

He is my husband. I have every right to want him… but just taking him like this in his sleep… that wouldn’t be right. He’d never do that to me. Besides… I want him to be awake and enjoy it with me.

Time seemed to pass slowly as Faramir’s mood darkened though, if he’d been paying enough attention he would feel the pulse of the ring against his chest. The thought crossed his mind that he should just take him, exactly as he was, spread beneath him just as he was. Not give Haldir a choice… but then he’d made his choice when he’d bonded with Faramir hadn’t he? He made his choice when he stayed even when Faramir had told him to leave.

Growling in frustration, a frustration that Faramir knew was far more than sexual need and desire for his husband but he no longer had control of himself. The ring was practically dancing against his chest as it hummed with power and before he even registered the thoughts of what he was doing Faramir had taken the two short pieces or rope they used for hunting snares and had secured Haldir’s hands firmly to the log that lay at the ‘head’ of their makeshift bed.

Haldir had never woken the entire time that Faramir had maneuvered him, and soon he stripped the blanket away fully to take in his lover’s body spread before him in the faint moonlight.

Perfect. Perfect and mine.

Haldir was sleeping more deeply than he had in several days. The weeks of simply being near the ring were taking a toll on him, and he’d finally drifted off after they’d made love. More than once over the past few days, Faramir had snapped at him, but Haldir knew it was the ring trying even harder to take over his lover, and had simply smiled and let the moment pass.

He was deep in a dream now, a peaceful, content dream of living with Faramir in their talan in Lórien. He didn’t even feel his body being maneuvered, nor the ropes that were tied around his wrists. He vaguely felt his husband’s hands moving over his skin, but attributed it to the dream, or Faramir snuggling close in his sleep. With a soft murmur, he crooked one leg, unknowingly offering easier access, even in his sleep.

Faramir stood over his lover for a moment and a grin touched his lips as Haldir moved his leg. Is he actually awake and only toying with me? Moving to settle between his lover’s legs, Faramir reached into his pack for the jar of salve they’d used earlier and then paused. Since it had been such a short time since the last time he took his lover Faramir released the jar and leaned back to look at him. “I wonder if you’ll even wake up at all?” he asked softly in a voice that any who knew him would know wasn’t quite his own. Not even checking to make absolutely sure Haldir was still stretched and slick from their earlier activities Faramir simply pushed his husband’s legs wider and positioned himself at the entrance before thrusting forward into tight heat. Instead of pausing and waiting for his lover to either wake or even adjust to the intrusion, Faramir began to move.

Haldir woke with a start as his body was breached. He tried to move, only to find, to his utter surprise, that his hands were bound tightly to a log above him. Before he could say a word, he felt the hard flesh buried inside him begin to move and stiffened immediately. His first instinct was to break free of the ropes and throw whoever was taking him to the ground, but with one quick look over his shoulder, he saw that his ‘lover’ was none other than Faramir. Well, he amended to himself… it was Faramir’s body anyway, and somewhere inside that body was the man he’d married. Immediately relaxing, he let his body become pliable, knowing that Faramir, at this moment, at least, did not know what he was doing. Closing his eyes, he lay still as Faramir took him, refusing to struggle, or even try to break free, though he knew he could very easily snap the ropes that bound him. He determinedly kept his mouth closed, letting his husband take his pleasure, though his heart ached with the thought of what was happening to Faramir even now.

Leaning over his lover, Faramir had seen Haldir’s eyes open, and then slip back closed as if he were still asleep. “I know you are awake,” he murmured close to Haldir’s ear. Faramir braced himself on one arm over his lover and reached up to move the thick mane of hair away from Haldir’s shoulder and wound the soft hair around his hand tugging Haldir’s head back. Faramir’s teeth nipped at the elegant ear and he was pleased to hear Haldir gasp, it was the first sound his lover had made. Not thinking of how roughly he was sucking at the skin of Haldir’s neck or anything else, Faramir was simply lost in his lover, needing this for some reason that he didn’t understand. A part of him knew exactly what he was doing and felt guilt stab through him, while another darker, more malevolent part of him that he didn’t know or have control of reveled in it.

Haldir’s fingers wound around the ropes and he felt tears of pain gather in his eyes as Faramir pulled his head back and bit at his ear, one of the most sensitive parts of his body, a fact which Faramir was well aware of. No. This isn’t him. It’s the ring, using him. Every instinct in him told him to fight, to protect himself, but he couldn’t raise a hand to his lover, even now. “Yes,” he said softly, gritting his teeth as his head was pulled back even further, making his neck ache as well as his ear. “I am awake. And you are hurting me, Faramir.”

Growling low in his throat an unnatural sound that wasn’t Faramir and barely human at all, he shoved Haldir’s head forward releasing the hair wrapped around his fist. “Did you know you spread yourself for me? Even in sleep, you wanted this, don’t pretend that you don’t now,” Faramir snapped as he bit roughly against the smooth skin of Haldir’s shoulder, leaving harsh red marks before moving to more sensitive skin at the base of Haldir’s neck as he continued to thrust deep inside him. Drawing back again, Faramir groaned as tight muscles clenched around him. “Or would you spread your legs the way you did for anyone? Not just your husband?” he hissed.

Crying out as his face slammed into the ground and Faramir’s teeth moved over his skin, Haldir could hardly believe the words he was hearing were coming from his lover’s mouth. With one quick move, he could throw Faramir off him and break free, but what good would that do, he asked himself. Faramir obviously needed something, and if Haldir freed himself, he was afraid he would end up in a confrontation with his husband… something he simply could not bear the thoughts of. Relax… let him get this out of his system, and maybe he will be himself again when he has finished. Keeping his voice calm, despite the pain of his lover’s words and actions, he forced himself to remain still and passive. “Of course not,” he said in his most reasonable voice, though a small groan escaped from his lips as the pain deepened. “There has been no other since I met you, and there never will be. You know that, Faramir. I love you. I only wish you had known I would never turn you down. There was no need to bind my hands. All you had to do was wake me.”

Somehow the words ‘I love you’ seemed to break through the fog in Faramir’s mind for only a moment and his fingers loosened in Haldir’s hair to move to the back of his neck caressing the tense muscles there without really thinking about it. The moment didn’t last long however before Faramir huffed out a harsh laugh as Haldir said all he had to do was wake him. “I managed to tie you up while you were asleep. What does that tell you?”

“That tells me that you are not yourself,” Haldir said softly, realizing that he was getting through a little, though he wasn’t sure how, as he felt gentle fingers moving over his skin for a moment. An exceptionally deep thrust caused him to groan as his body moved forward, and he knew he would have even more bruises come morning from the rocks and branches that lay underneath his blanket. “Take what you will. I will not fight you. I am yours, and would deny you nothing. But do not think you can do this every time I close my eyes. I do love you, but I won’t let you do this again. It will hurt you more than it will hurt me in the end, when you realize what you are doing, and I cannot stand to see you go through that.”

The voice that growled this time was certainly not Faramir and suddenly his hand drew away from Haldir’s neck to simply brace himself over his husband and thrust deeply. After long moments, Faramir felt his release building and continued to thrust until suddenly he cried out, his release slamming into him violently and he spilled deep within the tight channel. Dragging in harsh breaths, he collapsed against his lover, burying his face against the back of Haldir’s neck. He closed his eyes as his breathing slowed and evened out, and he felt a calmness he hadn’t known before wash over him. After a short time he slipped from within his lover and when he opened his eyes again he lifted his head and stared down at Haldir beneath him. Blinking several times, he suddenly realized what had happened and he scrambled back as if burned.

As soon as Haldir felt his husband spill within him, he closed his eyes in relief, for the first time ever glad that it was over. He continued to lay prone underneath Faramir, breathing heavily as the pain in his neck, ear, and backside slowly began to fade. Moments later, he felt Faramir slide from inside him and back away. Looking over his shoulder, he saw the horror in his lover’s eyes and quickly, with almost no effort at all, snapped the ropes around his wrist and climbed to his knees, then turned to face his husband. “Faramir,” he said softly, knowing that the ring had lost its power, at least for the moment. Opening his arms, he felt his heart break at the look on his husband’s face even as milky fluid tinged with blood ran down his inner thigh. “Come here, love. Are you all right?”

Faramir’s eyes already shimmering with unshed tears widened as Haldir easily broke the ropes binding him. Though it had shocked him still for a moment he then continued to back away from Haldir for a moment shaking his head. “What did I do?” he murmured over and over perhaps more to himself than to Haldir. He stood in confusion as tears began to stream down his face as Haldir stayed with his arms open in invitation. An invitation he didn’t deserve. He swallowed hard and was unable to say a word for the lump in his throat.

Wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around his husband, Haldir forced himself to stay perfectly still, not sure if Faramir wanted his touch just now or not. “Gûren, please,” he whispered, the pain of seeing Faramir crying more than he could bear, and infinitely worse than what had just happened. “You did not do anything. It was the ring. I am fine… I promise you. Please… don’t back away from me like that. Don’t be afraid to let me hold you.”

Faramir stood trapped it seemed between his own guilt and Haldir’s unwavering love for him despite what he’d done. Regardless if it was the ring it was his hands that had tied Haldir to that log, his body that had taken him so roughly. Swallowing hard he looked down at the ground and shook his head. “How can you want to hold me after that?” he asked softly, his head was aching from whatever internal fight he’d battled, but not nearly as much as his heart.

Haldir bit his bottom lip as Faramir spoke, his heart aching for his husband. “Because I love you,” he whispered softly. “Because my arms are empty when you aren’t in them, and because I need to wrap my arms around you and convince myself that you are all right, meleth. Please?”

“That I’m all right? Haldir… I,” Faramir shook his head again but couldn’t deny that he wanted to feel Haldir’s arms around him. Moving toward his lover slowly, Faramir sank to his knees in front of him but found himself unable to meet Haldir’s eyes. He reached out and took one of Haldir’s hands and untied the rope still tied around his wrist, then lifted it to his lips and gently kissed the abraded skin. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured barely able to form the words around the sob caught in his chest. “All I seem to do is hurt you.”

Shaking his head, Haldir moved his hand to gently tilt Faramir’s face up until their gazes met. “Don’t,” he whispered. “Don’t blame yourself for this. This was the ring, I know that… you know that.” Slowly, he wrapped his arms around his lover and sank to the ground, holding Faramir tightly. “I… I just didn’t know what to do. I could have freed myself, but I simply do not have the heart to fight you. You just… you needed me, and I understand why this happened. There was no harm done, meleth. I’m fine, I swear.”

Faramir sank into Haldir’s embrace pulling his husband close and kissing his cheek gently. “There was harm done, love. I… I was not myself, we both know that, but I just… I… I should have fought harder against it. I let my wanting you get twisted by the ring,” he whispered. Taking a deep breath he held Haldir even tighter for a moment before loosening his hold.

Haldir gazed into his husband’s eyes and smiled. “I know that you weren’t yourself,” he said, reaching down to take Faramir’s hands in his own and giving them a gentle squeeze, careful not to let his hair move from his neck and ear and reveal the skin he felt sure was raw from his lover’s teeth. “But I also know that I love you and the ring is trying to tear us apart. Don’t let it do this to you, Faramir. Don’t let it make you feel guilty. You did not truly hurt me… and I don’t believe you will. Just let go of this… let’s put it behind us. I don’t blame you for what happened, and I can’t stand to see you blaming yourself. Please? Just try, for me?”

Faramir nodded slowly as he stared into Haldir’s eyes. “I will try… I just… just wish I knew how to fight against it. I can’t explain it. I know what is happening, I know I shouldn’t do or say something yet I do. I’m not as strong as it is,” he said softly and closed his eyes for a moment. “I’m not sure I will be strong enough for this in the end. When it comes time to destroy it… I’m scared.” He swallowed hard and opened his eyes to look into Haldir’s. “I’ve never been more afraid of anything in my life, not afraid I will die, not afraid that the ring could return to Sauron… I’m most afraid of losing you. Maybe… maybe that is why it is doing this? Because it knows that is my worst fear?”

Leaning forward to press his lips against Faramir’s, Haldir gave him a soft, sweet kiss, wanting nothing more than to reassure his lover. “You will never lose me,” he murmured as he sat down on their blanket and urged Faramir to sit in his lap. Still careful not to touch the ring, he wrapped his arms comfortably around his husband’s waist and smiled up at him. “I think you’re exactly right though. I think the ring plays on your worst fears… but, don’t you see, love? Already, it has lost, because I will never stop loving you. The ring… or, rather, Sauron, knows he has no power against such a great love, and I think he is getting desperate… trying everything in his power to tear us apart, but he must know, deep down, that he has already failed.”

Faramir smiled as Haldir pulled him into his lap and wrapped his arms around his husband as he rested his head against his shoulder. “Maybe so,” he whispered softly. “I just don’t like feeling like his pawn, not having control over my own actions and thoughts… and seeing marks on you, from me. I don’t want that, but yet I can’t seem to stop it either.” He drew in a deep breath and released it slowly. “We need to get there as soon as we can. I don’t want this to happen again, I want to be rid of it forever so we can just go home, wherever we decide that to be.”

“We can leave at first light,” Haldir promised, pressing a kiss against his husband’s temple. “For now, rest if you can, just like this, in my arms, and I will try to keep the dark thoughts from you, my lovely one. We haven’t much farther to go… then we can destroy the damnable thing and move forward with our lives.”

Turning and catching Haldir’s lips with his own, Faramir kissed his lover tenderly. “I love you,” he whispered tiredly. Whatever the ring did to him when it took control of him that way it made him feel tired and drained afterwards. Even the times in the last few weeks when he’d simply snapped at Haldir for whatever reason he’d felt a wave of fatigue wash over him and now he felt more exhausted than he had in weeks. “I do want to admit the ring wasn’t completely at fault tonight… I did want you, but not like that. Never like that,” he whispered honestly.

“I know,” Haldir said softly. “I know. I wish I had not been so deeply asleep and I would have oh-so-eagerly made love with you. I’m sorry I didn’t wake up sooner. You know I would never, ever say no to making love with my beautiful, perfect, beloved husband. There is honestly no harm done though. I am perfectly fine, and right now, I want nothing more than to snuggle up next to you and whisper in your ear how much I love you until you fall sleep.” Grinning wickedly, he arched one eyebrow at his husband, hoping to make him smile. “I look forward to hearing your incredibly sexy snores as I watch the sun rise.”

Faramir felt slightly relieved when Haldir said that he was perfectly fine. He hoped that he wasn’t just saying that for his benefit though. When Haldir continued however, Faramir looked up with a mock look of indignation. “I do not snore,” he said trying not to grin though his lips couldn’t seem to help themselves. “Ok… maybe a little bit,” he admitted when Haldir raised an eyebrow at him. “Goodnight, love.” Faramir rested his head against Haldir’s shoulder and pulled the blanket up to cover them both.

Laughing softly, Haldir snuggled close and rested his cheek on the top of his lover’s head. “Goodnight, meleth,” he whispered, already counting the hours until they could resume their journey to Mordor. The sooner they were rid of the ring, the more relieved he would be, especially since it seemed to be taking his lover closer and closer to doing something he would always regret. “I love you,” he murmured. “Never forget that, no matter what.”

Faramir drifted into sleep after only a few moments and it was the most contented sleep, unblemished by dark dreams for the first time in days. The morning would find them moving as swiftly as they could toward the blackened landscape of Mordor to destroy the ring, and in Faramir’s mind to destroy it before it destroyed them.

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