Faramir Fiction Archive

When Darkness Falls (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

10 April 2008 | 42956 words

Title: When Darkness Falls Chapter 10/10
Authors: Sairalinde & Anorienbean
Fandom: LOTR
Characters: Faramir/Haldir
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Non-con in later chapters, violence
Disclaimer: No money was made from this, and the characters all belong to the late, great Mr. JRR Tolkien and his estate.
Summary: Faramir and Haldir join the Fellowship and vow to do everything in their power to see the one ring destroyed. Things get complicated, however, when they fall in love almost immediately, and vow to protect one another as well. When the ring accidentally falls into Faramir’s possession, Haldir realizes that he can’t do both.
Warning: TOTALLY non-canon.

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As the sun filtered through the trees around them, Haldir pulled the blanket closer around his husband. The night had been chilly, but they both so loved the feel of each other’s skin against their own, neither could bear sleeping tunics. He’d stayed awake all night, relieved to find that Faramir seemed to sleep well, but ready to chase away his dark dreams should they come upon him.

He was still a bit shocked by the events of the night before. Waking up with Faramir making love to him was not something he would ever complain about, but the way it had happened… his hands tied and his ear and neck bitten repeatedly, his lover taking his own pleasure, usually loving and gentle hands not even touching Haldir as they usually did, to bring them to climax together. No, the ring had been in more control than Faramir himself, and Haldir could only pray that they destroyed it before its control became something that Faramir could not push away.

But for now, Haldir mused, his husband was here, in his arms, a soft smile on his face, seeming to be more relaxed than he’d been in weeks. Always, Faramir had said that the safety of Haldir’s embrace was the only place he could find solace, or any measure of peace, and Haldir was more than happy to simply hold him as the night wore on.

Gently brushing a lock of hair behind his lover’s ear, Haldir shifted slightly. Faramir had sat in his lap, curled up against his chest for long hours, and though he regretted giving up this rare moment of peace, he knew they should resume their journey. “Meleth?” he whispered. “Wake up, pen velui. We have far to go today, and should get started as soon as possible.”

Faramir stirred, feeling warmth surrounding him and heard the soft whisper of his husband’s voice. He drew in a deep breath and slowly opened his eyes. Looking up into Haldir’s eyes he smiled but then the memories from the night before flooded in at the sight of the dark bruises on Haldir’s neck. Immediately he drew back and nearly scrambled out of his husband’s lap certain that after having the night to think on it all that Haldir would not wish to have him near. Not after what he’d done. Ring or not, he’d practically raped his husband. Tears gathered quickly in his eyes and he stared wordlessly at Haldir, unable to form an apology for what he’d done. There was simply nothing he could say that would be enough.

Haldir was startled as Faramir leapt away from him. Quickly getting to his feet, he closed the gap between them and moved so the blanket around his shoulders rested over his lover’s as well, trying not to wince as the pain in his backside renewed at the too-quick movement. “Faramir, please. Don’t do this… it breaks my heart when you pull away from me.”

Faramir blinked several times trying to focus beyond the tears welling there and shook his head. He started to back away again but the sadness in Haldir’s eyes stopped him. “But… how you could want me near? I… I hurt you,” he whispered, his hand rising to touch the dark bruises gently, feeling the heat of them against his fingertips. Swallowing hard, Faramir looked down. “I am afraid that it will only get worse.”

Raising his hand to rest over the back of Faramir’s hand, Haldir tilted his head and kissed his lover’s palm. “I will always want you near me,” he smiled. “I love you, and what happened last night was not your fault. If it gets worse, we will deal with it, but I honestly do not think you have it in you to truly hurt me. The ring might think it controls you, but I know, without a doubt that there is part of you the ring can’t touch. It’s the part of you that loves me, that managed to push forward and touch me so gently last night… the part of you that is so pure, evil cannot touch it. Please… don’t blame yourself for this. The bruises will heal, and soon, the ring will be gone, and we will never have to worry about its influence ever again.”

Feeling the warmth of Haldir’s lips against his palm made Faramir’s heart swell in his chest and he nodded slowly. “I just don’t want to hurt you… I hate seeing these marks on you. Marks I made, it… it breaks my heart,” he whispered softly. He also hated the fact that as much as he despised the ring he worried that he wouldn’t be able to destroy it. Wouldn’t be strong enough. Others weren’t… what made him any better than them? Taking a deep breath he nodded his head slowly and closed his eyes for a moment. “You are right though, we should go, we have a long day ahead and the sooner we get to Mt. Doom the better. I don’t know if I’ll be able to resist the ring’s pull much longer.”

Haldir smiled as Faramir visibly relaxed. Leaning in for a soft kiss, he rested his forehead against his husband’s and sighed. After a moment, he pulled away, reached for their pack and drew out two tunics. Handing one to his lover, Haldir smiled and let the blanket around Faramir’s shoulders drop to the ground. “So incredibly lovely,” he murmured, taking in the lean body before him. “When we find a home, I plan on spending weeks at a time simply exploring every inch of you.”

Faramir returned the soft kiss and felt infinitely loved from the sweet gesture. As Haldir handed him a tunic and the blanket fell away, despite everything they’d shared Faramir found a blush staining his cheeks as his husband looked at him that way. “We will both be quite busy for a long while I should think because I wish to do the same,” he whispered almost shyly.

Feeling much more lighthearted, Haldir laughed and let his fingers trail lovingly over Faramir’s body, delighting in the feel of his husband’s skin beneath his fingertips. It was long minutes before they finally began their trek, as Haldir simply could not resist a few dozen more kisses, both before and after their breakfast, and, despite the ring, he felt even more sure that they would complete their quest and go on to live their lives in happiness, able to put this entire episode behind them forever.

The ring, however, had other ideas.

Walking had become a chore as they moved up the craggy mountainside, littered with sharp jagged rocks and virtually nothing alive for leagues it seemed. Faramir could feel the weight of the ring growing around his neck, as if he were carrying a blacksmith’s anvil rather than a small ring of gold. Each step seemed harder than the next, but he pressed on. He knew they had to do this, even though his emotions warred within him.

The ring was like a living force struggling against him more and more each step they took. Some sort of battle had distracted the enemy and they had made it with little trouble into the dark lands of Mordor, but when he looked back he could see a trail of orcs following them. Haldir had looked back just as he had and drew his bow. He knew what his lover meant to do. To stand guard picking off orcs as they moved up the mountain behind them as Faramir had to press ahead to the chamber where the ring was forged. His steps faltered at times, but he kept going, they were just so close.

Licking his dry lips, Faramir finally made it to the crest of the mountain where the doorway to the chamber was. It reminded him for a moment of Moria and the balrog. He looked back to see Haldir loose an arrow right into the chest of an orc advancing up the slope. Forcing himself to move faster, Faramir almost stumbled as he moved into the chamber. The heat was stifling and took his breath away for a moment. Stopping at the edge he looked back to see Haldir in the doorway still firing arrows and he reached up to remove the necklace with the ring. He paused with it in his hands, the gold shining brightly in the strange orange light.

Grateful that he had dozens of arrows, Haldir continued trying to shield his lover from the creatures for as long as he could. His aim was steady, but the orcs were bearing down on them in numbers far too great for him to even hope of killing them all. They continued coming at him in droves, but the trek up the steep slope was difficult and more than one fell, dragging several others down with him. A particularly large orc appeared out of nowhere, and Haldir aimed for his neck, giving a grim smile of satisfaction as the creature screamed and fell behind a large bolder beside the chamber entrance. He continued firing as he backed into the chamber, seeing his lover standing on the edge of a deep abyss, flames and liquid lava all around him. “Faramir, hurry! I cannot hold them off much longer!” Haldir yelled over the din of the orcs and the roar of the bed of fire rushing down the center of the crevice. Another orc appeared just before him and he loosed yet another arrow. The creature fell near the archway, but Haldir’s attention was already back on his lover as the orc he’d just shot he slowly pulled the arrow from his neck and waited for his chance to attack the Elf.

Faramir looked over his shoulder to Haldir in the doorway and then back at the ring in his hand. His thoughts were jumbled, he wanted to keep the ring, to use it, and perhaps it would protect them like it had against the balrog? If he kept it he and Haldir could end the war together, could rule together? As the thoughts crossed his mind Faramir heard his lover shout and he turned again and looked into Haldir’s eyes. His husband’s eyes were pleading with him to destroy the ring and he blinked trying to fight against the desire to keep the ring and not destroy it. Just as he started to reach out and fling the ring into the abyss he saw something out of the corner of his eye. Haldir had called to him again to destroy the ring, and as if time had slowed he reached down and pulled his knife from his boot, staring into his lover’s eyes as the updrafts from the lava whipped around him he threw the knife as hard as he could, his eyes almost never leaving Haldir’s.

His heart in his throat, Haldir’s gaze held Faramir’s, without blinking. He could see the man he loved trying desperately to make a decision, a decision that should have been easy, but one he knew in his heart would be the hardest thing anyone could ever have to make. The call of the ring was strong, even Galadriel had felt its pull, but Haldir would not let himself believe that it was stronger than the bond he shared with Faramir. As if in slow motion, Haldir stood perfectly still, watching as the knife moved end over end, heading straight for him. He would not hurt me… despite the ring, he loves me, and nothing can take that from us. The thought, however, did nothing to slow the progress of the knife, and he dared not move, putting every ounce of trust he possessed in his husband.

With a dull thud, the knife found its quarry mere inches from Haldir’s ear, deep into the throat of the orc Haldir thought he’d killed. Unbeknownst to him, the creature had slowly risen to his feet, a dull blade in his hand, ready to plunge the rusted weapon into his back. Relief washed over Haldir and his heart skipped a beat. He saved me. Even with the call of the ring of power ringing in his ears, he saved me.

Kicking the orc off the side of the path, Haldir wiped a dirty hand across his eyes. “Meleth, please… throw the ring and come back to me. Just destroy it… Let it go!”

Faramir stood motionless as the large orc crumpled and his husband kicked him aside. Sucking in a breath that burned his lungs Faramir looked from Haldir to the ring clutched in his hand. The conflicting feelings were still there, despite it all he felt more and more confused and almost swayed on his feet from the powerful emotions flooding through him. His eyes rose again to connect with Haldir’s pleadingly, not sure he could do what he was meant to.

Seeing the pain in Faramir’s eyes, Haldir took a deep breath and steadied himself. If more orcs came up behind him, so be it, right now, his husband needed him. “Seron vell,” he said just loudly enough for Faramir to hear him, never breaking their gaze. “Do you remember the night I asked you to bond with me? Our faers were set free, and danced together, our bodies and souls moved as one. I always found you so breathtakingly beautiful, meleth, but that night… that night my heart ached at how lovely you were, and I knew nothing would ever make me stop loving you. If you keep the ring, I will stand with you for as long as I can… but it will be the end of me. The evilness that ring holds would overcome everything in me, and I would fade. But I will be by your side for as long as I can, even if you keep it… never doubt that, love. I promised I would never leave you… and I hold to that promise.”

Faramir startled as Haldir said he would stay with him even if he kept the ring but that he would fade. The thought of causing his husband to fade because of him, because of his selfish desire to keep something so powerful… something so evil, made him tremble. The ring was still trying to influence him, trying to control him and make him believe that he could stop Haldir from fading with its power but he knew better. Deep in his heart he knew, he remembered the bruises on Haldir’s perfect skin. Remembered what he himself had done because of the rings influence and how much he hated himself for allowing it. With that thought in his mind, and the love that Haldir had given him unconditionally all these months he turned and flung the ring as far into the cavern as he could. The action sent him to his knees, feeling weak as a newborn kitten for a moment before he was able to gather himself to stand. The ground began to shake as he moved forward toward his husband. They didn’t have time to speak, though Faramir had much he wished to say. He and Haldir left the chamber as the rocks began to collapse in on itself and were amazed to find the orcs that had been on their heels were pouring down the mountain side away from them.

Haldir felt his heart swelling with love as Faramir flung the ring away from him. He knew his husband could destroy the ring, despite all of Faramir’s doubts and fears to the contrary. Hand in hand, they ran from the collapsing cavern, narrowly missing several large boulders that came crashing down just beside them. They ran as fast as they could, the orcs no longer a threat, but the path beneath their feet was now crashing into the lava below them. A large outcropping off rocks was ahead of them, and they jumped together toward it, even as the ground fell away from under them. They just made it to the other rock, and quickly climbed to the top, safe, for the moment, anyway, with nowhere else to go. They were both dirty, sweating, and exhausted, but Haldir felt a peacefulness settle around them as he wrapped his arms around his husband and held him close. “I knew you could do it, gûren,” he whispered, pressing his lips to his lover’s ear. “You saved us… you saved us all.”

Faramir sunk into Haldir’s arms as they found themselves trapped on the outcropping of rock, an island in a sea of fire now. They would most likely perish there but at least they would be together without the stain of evil on their souls. “No, love. You saved us. It was your love that gave me the strength, your words, your heart that spoke to mine,” he said pressing a soft kiss against Haldir’s lips.

Tears gathered in Haldir’s eyes and he buried his face against Faramir’s neck. “Our love,” he whispered, “our love, our strength… I would not even know how to love were it not for you, my dearest one.”

Faramir pulled Haldir closer against him, and simply held him. “Our love,” he whispered in agreement. The heat around them was stifling and yet they clung to one another. “I’m so tired,” he whispered after several long moments. There really wasn’t much for them to do except sit and wait for the mountain to claim them. Faramir hoped they would pass out from the heat long before the fire swallowed them. “Let’s just close our eyes and try and remember better days. Remember our time in Lórien and Rivendell.”

Despite the heat, Haldir clung to his lover and closed his eyes. “Think about the first time we saw each other,” he murmured. “The first time we made love, the first time we walked hand in hand in the moonlight. Rest, and think of those times, of how much happiness we have shared in the short time we’ve been together.”

Faramir closed his eyes and rested his head against Haldir’s, tears slipping down his cheeks as his lover spoke. “I cherish every moment, love. Every smile you’ve bestowed upon me. Every kiss. I love you, in this life and whatever the next holds for us,” Faramir whispered his words slurred from exhaustion and the heat. By now the heat was overwhelming, just drawing a breath an effort, and they simply held onto each other as they finally slipped into blessed unconsciousness.

The next time Haldir opened his eyes, he felt silk sheets beneath him, and a cool breeze wafting across his face. Faramir was tucked safely beside him, his head resting on Haldir’s shoulder, and both of Haldir’s arms holding him tightly. It took him a moment to realize where they were.

Rivendell.

The last months seemed like a bad dream, but he knew it had all been horrifyingly real. The last thing he remembered, he and Faramir had lost consciousness just outside of the cavern where Faramir had destroyed the ring. Yet, here they were, clean and rested, alone in a luxurious bed, the sounds of laughter softly drifting on the breeze toward their room.

Slowly, he let his fingertips run over his husband’s face, a soft smile playing on his lips as he remembered how Faramir had saved his life, then flung the ring into the depths of the fire from which it was born. He hesitated to wake his sleeping lover, but he somehow sensed Faramir did not know they had survived, and might still be lost in the realms of unconsciousness. “Gûren. Can you hear me?”

Faramir shifted in his sleep wondering how he could feel so cool after the last thing he remembered was feeling so incredibly hot. He wondered if perhaps he was dead for a moment before the voice speaking to him registered in his mind. Blearily, he opened his eyes and looked up to see Haldir smiling at him and he thought for certain he was in a dream. “Haldir?” he whispered, his voice thick from disuse. “Where… where are we?” he asked moving slightly to look around them. Realization dawned on him and he looked at Haldir, puzzlement clear in his eyes. “How did we get to Rivendell?”

“I have no idea,” Haldir smiled. “But I hear laughter such as I have not heard in a very long time. I think the shadow of Mordor is finally gone from Arda, and, knowing Lord Elrond, I think he will be here shortly to tell us all that he can.” Before the words were fully out of their mouth, he heard a soft knock on the door, and saw Pippin’s head, followed by “They’re awake! They’re awake!” Next was Elrond’s stern but amused voice urging the exuberant hobbit to quiet down, then another knock, followed by Elrond and Gandalf looking in.

“I know you both must have countless questions to ask,” Gandalf smiled as he gave Faramir a slight bow. “But first, let me congratulate you for destroying the ring… and apologize for your having to do it alone. We knew it would come to this… and I always thought you had the heart to destroy it, my young friend.”

Faramir looked away from Haldir as the door opened and he found himself smiling at Pippin before the hobbit was gone again. He started to turn to Haldir to say something but before he could the door opened again and Lord Elrond and Gandalf walked in. He and Haldir sat up in the large bed, leaned against the headboard with their arms still around one another. Faramir’s eyebrow rose when Gandalf offered a bow to him and he looked at the Elf and Wizard before them curiously. “You… you knew?” he asked in confusion and turned to look at Haldir whose eyes held the same puzzled expression he knew was in his own.

Elrond nodded his head. “We did,” he answered. “Lady Galadriel saw that, due to circumstances beyond all of our control, you would end up being the ringbearer. She told me soon after our council, and saw that you would not journey alone, but she did not know with whom you would be with. After long hours of discussion, she and Lord Celeborn chose to send Haldir… and Elf they trusted and loved, but one whom had never lost his heart to another. Only love could overcome the power of the ring, and though she did not know you and Haldir would fall in love, nor what might happen if you did, she, as well as Lord Celeborn and myself, could only hope. With one look, I saw Haldir’s eyes sparkling as he looked at you, and though you looked away from him more than once, Faramir, I could tell you were flattered… and interested. The rest, I believe took care of itself.”

Haldir stared at Elrond in disbelief. “You… you knew, even then? That is why you asked me so many times if I truly loved him… if I would stand by him, no matter what obstacles would come our way.”

Faramir felt his face color when Lord Elrond said that Haldir had looked at him the way he had. He remembered those looks and at first had thought it only wishful thinking on his part. Faramir looked at Haldir as he spoke and he smiled. “And you did, no matter what, you did,” Faramir said softly pulling their joined hands up to press a soft kiss against Haldir’s.

Turning back to the others who were smiling at them Faramir looked down. “You were wrong when you said that I destroyed the ring. I very nearly didn’t. It was Haldir who did it. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have been able to resist the rings power. I almost fell under its power more than once on our journey,” he admitted honestly.

Shaking his head, Haldir squeezed his lover’s fingers gently, forgetting that they had an audience. “If you weren’t you, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you in the first place,” he said firmly. “So, you see, it all comes back to that. You, being your perfect, beautiful, loving self.”

Elrond chuckled softly and winked at Gandalf. “I am sure Haldir helped,” he said, the smile never leaving his face, “but I think he has a point. Never before, in all his years, has he loved anyone, and never before have I seen a love run so deeply. There is something inside you, Faramir, something that made him fall hard for you… a strength, perhaps, or a pureness of your soul. Whatever it was, it saved you both… it saved us all.” He continued before either man or Elf could say a word. “Not only that, but it has allowed you to spend an eternity with Haldir, if you so wish. My daughter has chosen to stay with Aragorn. You may have her seat on the ship to Aman, Faramir, if you would like that.”

Faramir turned back to look at Lord Elrond so quickly he almost felt dizzy for a moment after lying in bed for however long they had after their journey. “What?” he asked the word almost hanging in his throat. “But… I… I’m a man? I can’t… can I?” He looked to Gandalf questioningly, his hand squeezing Haldir’s tightly in shock and worried that he had misunderstood.

Haldir’s mouth dropped open and he turned his gaze to Elrond. “Please, my Lord,” he said softly, “please say we heard you correctly… that Faramir can sail to Aman, and… and we will never have to say goodbye?” The hardest part of loving a Man, he knew, was that Faramir would age, and eventually die. But now… “Please,” he repeated.

Elrond nodded. “You did not misunderstand,” he laughed, his eyes sparkling merrily at the Elf and Man before him. “I cannot force you to sail with us, Faramir, and the Valar only knows why you would want to spend an eternity with our Haldir here, but… nevertheless, the offer will stand until the last Elf sails to the undying lands.”

Gandalf chuckled as well, his laughter seeming to spread around the room, until Elrond joined in, both amused at the look on Faramir and Haldir’s faces. “Well, I think you should either accept or decline Lord Elrond’s gracious offer,” he teased.

Faramir’s mouth dropped open though he quickly recovered, his head nodding quickly. “Yes… yes of course I accept! I… Gods, I would love nothing more than to spend forever with Haldir… but… but I’ve no Elven blood or at least not much after so many generations. How is this possible? Even if I were to go… .how?” he fumbled for the words and simply stared at his former tutor.

Gandalf smiled at him and shook his head. “He was always such a bright child, I’m afraid this journey may have addled him,” Gandalf teased and Lord Elrond’s lips twitched. “Faramir… think, you already know the answer.”

Turning to his husband, Faramir pulled him close for a gentle kiss completely forgetting their audience. “I felt such guilt when you had said that you chose to end your life when mine did… and now we don’t have to face that choice anymore.

Haldir’s arms held his husband tightly and he was unable to wipe the smile from his face. “The only choice we’ll ever have to make is what to have for dinner,” he laughed. “Gods, I cannot believe this is happening!” Holding on to Faramir, Haldir’s eyes filled with tears and he reached one hand out to grasp Elrond’s. “Thank you, my Lord,” he murmured. “Thank you for this… thank you for everything…”

Faramir laughed with his husband and nodded in agreement as Haldir thanked their host. “Yes, thank you,” he said at a loss. There were simply no words to express how happy and thankful he was. The last he had remembered was holding Haldir in his arms as they had slipped into oblivion on the side of Mount Doom.

For a short while, Gandalf explained how they came to be in Rivendell and then he and Lord Elrond left to send in food for them and give them time to rest before the rest of the fellowship were to visit them.

After they had eaten, Haldir slid down in the bed and smiled at his husband. “So, do you really think you can possibly put up with me for an eternity?” he asked with a smile. “An eternity is an awfully long time…”

Faramir laughed softly as he shifted under the soft sheets to wrap his arms around Haldir. “An eternity and more, my love,” he whispered. His voice turning more serious he smiled and ran his fingers through Haldir’s hair that was hanging loosely about his shoulders. “I can’t believe all that has happened… it feels like a dream.”

“It does,” Haldir agreed, tangling his legs with his husband’s and pulling him closer. “And I have a feeling it is going to be a very good dream from this day forward.”

Faramir laughed softly as his body moved against Haldir’s under the covers. “And what a promising start,” he whispered as he shifted against Haldir, his hand trailing down the low ‘v’ of his husband’s nightshirt, tracing slowly over the warm smooth skin there. “I don’t suppose you can recall if they locked the door when they left?” he asked with a mischievous grin.

Arching one eyebrow, Haldir moved closer and nibbled at his husband’s ear. “I do think they did,” he murmured. “Or, at least if they didn’t I do believe we can make enough noise to keep them from opening the door until we’re ready for visitors again…”

The end.

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