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The Strangest of Dances (NC-17) Print

Written by Eora

17 March 2013 | 19768 words

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Author’s Note: This chapter is a bit short, but we are nearing the end, and you won’t have to wait too long for the remaining parts. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 6.

It was one of those slow awakenings, those lovely, sleepy moments when you half-open your eyes and the bed feels especially comfortable, and there’s someone you are very fond of lying beside you keeping you warm. Unfortunately no sooner was I aware of all of this than the vision was shattered with a literal bang; I raised my head, startled, just in time to see two servants manoeuvre heavy pails of hot water through the door (a small puddle on the floor the result of the clatter of bucket versus door) and in doing so, incriminated myself rather splendidly. There was no way I wasn’t seen, despite the servants’ insensible expressions as they disappeared into the bath chamber. Faramir’s hand snaked from the covers and pulled my head back down, though I had to shift from my original position (I’d originally opened my eyes in fright to behold a coppery armpit a scant inch from my nose) and pull the blanket over myself again.

Faramir’s voice was far-off, heavy with sleep. “The worst they can think is that we succumbed to a moment of madness on your visit here, that we drank too much wine, or our passions were running high. Our friendship is close enough, and we haven’t seen one another for a long time.” He was speaking quietly, and it sounded as if he was about to lose consciousness again at any moment. I envied his lack of concern; I was ready to bolt out of the door, heart hammering. “I wouldn’t worry, Aragorn.”

And then I really began to worry. What if that’s all it really was to Faramir? A bit of heated blood, passions that took us over only to fade with the dawn’s light. I wanted to ask if he still wanted this, now that the cold light of day clarified matters.

“Faramir?” I whispered, and when I got no response I looked out from beneath the sheets. He was lying on his back, eyes closed, sound asleep. I suppose I’d just have to wait. I turned over onto my own back and watched the servants leave the room, closing the door behind them with what I thought was a rather particular care not to look in the direction of the bed.

Faramir roused himself about ten minutes later; I’d gotten bored with lying there, despite the warmth and softness of the bedclothes and besides I needed to piss terribly, so with a quick prayer to the gods that no more of Faramir’s household would needs traipse through the room I rose and padded to the bathroom, intent on relieving myself of at least one concern, if not them all. I was washing myself when he came up behind me, hands sliding about my waist, burying his nose into the hair at the base of my neck and pulling me back against his chest gently. I was fairly sure that constituted an end to my worries.

“How did you sleep?”

“Well enough,” I said, smiling and then I remembered with horror my performance the night before. My burning face looked back at me from the mirror, and from over my shoulder I could see Faramir’s too, peering through pillow-ruffled hair; he hooked his chin over my shoulder and kissed my flushed cheek.

“Love you.” He paused. “Love love.”

It occurred to me that this was the first time Faramir had said it, and even though it was the most momentous thing that had happened all morning all I could do was grin idiotically at his reflection until he disengaged himself with a snort of laughter and stole first dip in the bath.

There was nothing I could think of to say (for once), so I knelt behind the bathtub and began washing his back. The water was hot, and I envied him, but there wasn’t enough space for two so I was content in massaging his shoulders and singing to myself. After a while, he lay back against the bath, the back of his head on my shoulder, and though my knees were starting to pain me I lifted the cloth and let the water run down over his chest. He turned his head and smiled, and we shared an upside-down kiss that ended when I had to stand lest my legs seize up.

“I’ll be finished soon,” he said, lifting the cloth, presumably to wash more intimate areas. “I’ll send for more water.”

“It’s alright,” I said, stretching, and trying not to stare at him too much. This was the first time I’d seen him unclothed in good light, and, I realised, the first time he’d have seen me, though he was keeping better control over his wanton gazes. I was hairier, or perhaps the hair on my chest and belly was just darker. He had freckles, pale ones, all across his shoulders and upper arms and I did not, save for one or two here and there, but I think we were more alike than not and really, none of it mattered at all.

“I thought frequent baths were a thing you were doing now?”

I felt cheerful enough to cuff him across the back of the head, nothing more than a brush of my fingers through damp hair. “What I meant was that I’ll just go in after you, but you are so very droll, my good friend.”

A look of faux-worry passed over his face as he wrung out the washcloth. “Your good friend? I thought I was more than that, surely?”

I knelt (again) and kissed him (again). “Surely,” I said, and I couldn’t stop the lovesick grin that spread across my face. It soon turned out that there was room for two in the bath after all.


I wanted snow, I wanted storms, I wanted fallen trees and floods and hail and earthquakes, anything that would keep me holed up in this place with Faramir for as long as possible. I’d already stretched my visit out to almost a week, and though I didn’t feel unwelcome (oh, far from that) I knew I was pushing my luck in regards to my absence from the city. My heart grew heavy; I knew it was unlikely that I could persuade Faramir to come back with me but it wasn’t going to stop me from trying.

I sulked a little over breakfast on my fifth morning in Emyn Arnen. The previous night we had touched one another again, and I had shared his bed, but it had been a long night of wakefulness for me, lying blinking in the darkness while Faramir slumbered on like a slow-burning furnace alongside me. I was worried; yes, his admission of affection was one I believed, but the stakes were so high I feared losing him once we parted and the spell broke.

I was sullen. My porridge was cold, and drawing in it with my spoon was irritating Faramir (he kept glancing at my efforts with a certain look on his face) but I felt suddenly listless, as if I had no purpose in life but to be in the company of this man and even now our separate lives, however entangled, must divert our paths in disparate directions. How I detested my destiny in that instant! Of course, I didn’t really; I was being petty, selfish, childish to a high degree. But, still.

“One more night,” I said.

“You said that yesterday,” Faramir countered, and I felt it unfair that he wasn’t taking my side on the matter; I must’ve glared at him, for he quickly added: “You know I don’t want you to leave, but the longer you stay away, the more work you’re creating for yourself when you get back.”

“Come with me, then. You’re supposed to help me with all of that sort of thing.”

He pushed aside his bowl, and reached over to lift mine out of reach too (I was being very irritating). “I am helping you, love. That’s why I’m here, so you don’t have to deal with all of the ‘Ithilien doings’ as you so adroitly phrased it.” I cringed, though felt a tingle of delight at the endearment that slipped so naturally into his speech. I was also annoyed; he was right, as usual. “Also,” he went on, ignoring my internal battles, “it would benefit us not to parade our relationship in front of absolutely everyone at court. Here it’s fine; I’m reasonably assured that my household staff aren’t too well connected with the higher levels of the council–but it would be a problem if it came out that you and I were, ah, biased toward one another, and I think discovery would be inevitable were we both residing in the citadel. I don‘t like sneaking around, and I can tell you for a fact that you won‘t either, and I‘m honestly not prepared to put up with your complaining about it. We need to be discreet. Distance will ensure that.”

“I thought you didn’t care about publicity?”

“I don’t,” he replied with a light frown. “But others do.”

“Hmmh,” I said, unable to think of anything else. Again, he was right, but again that didn’t mean I had to like it. “So, what then? Do I visit you every other week? Or shall I only come on festival days? Midsummer? Our birthdays?” I hadn’t meant to let my testiness flare in my words but it did and Faramir’s frown deepened.

“If you’d rather not deal with it at all there is a simple solution.”

That shut me up. “I’m sorry,” I said.

“Me too.”

A few moments of silence passed. “Shall we work something out, then?”

“I’d like to, but you’re being especially difficult this morning.”

“I said I was sorry, Faramir.”

He reached over and covered my hand with his. “If you think I’m going to let a little thing like eight and a half leagues get between us then you have less faith than I thought.”

“I just don’t really want to–” I’d realised the root of my odd temper. I felt foolish, but Faramir’s thumb was stroking the back of my hand and I was bolstered by his complicity in all of this. “I’m going to miss you when I return to the city.”

“And I won’t miss you?” He gripped my hand firmly. “Be assured of my love in all things, Aragorn. And if you’d ever learn to read your diary, you’ll know that I shall be by your side in less than two weeks for Midwinter.”

Oh. Oh! “See? I really do need you with me; surely telling me whatever it is I’m meant to be doing on any given day supersedes any of this woodland malarkey?”

Faramir let out a bark of laughter. “Neaten your handwriting and you wouldn’t have this problem in the first place.”

I looked straight at him. “One more night.”

“One more night,” he echoed, and I smiled.

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25 Comment(s)

Oooh! Very good! Magical: so many words and you caught me in a wave of excitement. I like this Aragorn, and the explanation of Faramir. Ahh, sunshine and fun!

— Laivindur    Thursday 15 November 2012, 16:52    #

Why thank you! I’m glad it’s going down well so far; there will be more chapters in the upcoming weeks so I hope you enjoy those too! :)

Eora    Thursday 15 November 2012, 20:37    #

Very funny and unusual version of Aragorn and Faramir :). I like it!

— Nerey Camille    Friday 16 November 2012, 0:42    #

Thank you! It’s not exactly the most accurate portrayal of them both I admit but I’m happy it’s working out so far!

Eora    Friday 16 November 2012, 14:54    #

Oh lovely! I love the tone and the characterisation of both :) Looking forward to more!

Minx    Friday 16 November 2012, 18:51    #

Great Elephants! I snorted with laughter when I came to “… was not much of a royalist”. XD Not only because of the ironic tone, but also because this is a topic the book seems not to consider. In each halfway healthy society there are supposed to be at least some people who might have their reservations about the new king. I mean, one fine day he arrives, a total stranger, wins the war (which is not exactly his earning), claims absolute power and nobody objects? The last king has disappeared about 800 years ago and though everybody goes like “Hooray, monarchy´s back! Hail to the king!” Nothing against Professor Tolkien (how could I dare?), I think he was very familiar with the human mind and just decided to leave some realities out (instead of being totally naive regarding the way the hairless ape behaves) – yet I find it truly refreshing to read about a side character who doesn´t lose one hundred percent of his common sense just because YE Gods, it´s THE KING! ;)

You see, I´m already drifting, but at least I should take a minute to assure you of two things (just to make you sleep peaceful): First: It´s not funny, it´s hilarious. :) The lines are sparkling with wit like a glass of Veuve Cliquot, so to say (though I was told the humorous skills of champagne are rather limited). I can´t help but adore people who are good with words and even more if they manage to be both intelligent AND funny. And second: I would say it is totally in canon with movie Aragorn. I would even go further and say it is the sort of self-irony that would have fitted the book character. I love that inner dialogue that reveals a lot of Aragorn´s personal insecurity and shows a healthy down-to-earthness. There is a lot of Viggo in it – or the motion I have of him. :)

My second favourite part? “He was not as if carved from marble” and “I am not chiselled from stone either”. Thank you for that, dear. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU. It is not that there was anything wrong with a divine male body but… sometimes I´m fed up with all the clinical perfection. Bodies don´t have to be flawless to be desirable – as a matter of fact it is the flaws that make us love somebody. Perfection is admirable, but there´s also a scary aspect in it. Apart from that I´m pretty sure the body of a person who is used to hard physical work and spends most of their time outside is still different from a super-shaped highgloss model. – But it seems this comment is about to become an entry by itself. Actually all I wanted to say is: Beautiful and incredibly skilled work – please keep it going! :)

— raven22372    Friday 16 November 2012, 20:47    #

Minx- Thank you so much! The fic itself is actually complete so have no fear, I won’t leave you hanging! :)

Raven- Thank you!! :) Haha, I was almost hoping someone would pick up on that! :P Imperfection or perceived flaws only add to perfection in my opinion, and of course, no-one is perfect. I do try and strive for realism in my stories, no matter the implausibility of the plot-lines on occasion. I personally find it far more romantic when all of the inelegant bits are included, if you catch my meaning (so uh, I guess stay tuned for a later chapter where there is a rather undignified moment haha!)

I figure Viggo is a bit of a trickster (well I’ve heard/read interviews where he has quite the mischievous sense of humour) so I’m very humbled by your assessment that my portrayal of Aragorn here (and I will maintain that it is probably as far from canon as one might get) is something that plays to his sensibilities. Of course, I don’t believe that Aragorn was all noble and austere and all that 100% of the time. But I’m not sure if he would be quite so…well, misty-headed due to love as he will be in later chapters as well but this isn’t exactly aiming for utter realism in all aspects here :P)

And yes! I’m sure there are equal amounts of people who are all ‘Hooray, the king!’ and ‘Screw the king!’ and a bunch more who are ‘King who?’ Hopefully not enough of the second sort to cause any sort of problems, but I’m sure Denethor had his supporters, those who shared his opinions on certain political matters (but hopefully not on the inferiority of certain sons of his.) I think that healer, while not really malevolent, was purely of the justified opinion that after running about in the wilds for god knows how many days and weeks Aragorn was rightly in need of a scrub. I always watch the films and think, oh my, he’s so dreamy…but when did he last have a wash? In fact I think the part where he falls off the cliff during the warg attack is the only time he’s seen actually getting any sort of bath :P And during the coronation, of course, isn’t he so nicely groomed? See, Aragorn, it’s not so bad, really!

(P.S the email is incoming, I’ve been ill this week and basically useless, I’m sorry!)

Eora    Friday 16 November 2012, 23:24    #

Yes! It’s hilarious! :D A good laugh indeed ;) Thank you. Great portrait of the two ;) I love Aragorn like this.

— Laivindur    Thursday 29 November 2012, 19:56    #

“Was I any good?” HMWUAHAHAHA, goodness, that is a oneliner written in heaven!!! XDDD
Well, err – cough cough – yes. I can only suppose I feel that intrigued because of the statement´s strong contrast to the true persona of Faramir – who likely would never ever ask if he was good in bed. X) Your skills in dialogues are enviable, and just in case I forgot to mention it: so is your sense of humour. There are different ways to create humour and my most favourite is the one that comes from the use of language (in German it´s “Sprachwitz”, which means the witty, subtle dealing with language, but I couldn´t find any English equivalent, so I hope I can get across what I mean. Humble apologises at this point). I love the gentle and yet feather-light atmosphere, accentuated by occasional flashes of self-irony that, as sharp as it may be, never gets bitter. Truth be told, I could wallow in your writing for hours – what am I saying, days!

I was going to say ´poor Aragorn` but since the entire setting is so bright and drenched with warnth and easiness, I refuse to believe it will come to a bad end. And for the ´confessio interruptus´ scene in the stables (Please excuse my terrible puns. The later the hour the worse they get): for some inexplicable reason it seems absolutely natural to bring Faramir in line with horses. Of course, Aragorn as well, but that´s at least something one would expect, whereas the character of Faramir is not explicitly introduced as a rider… I can only hope it´s not my subconsciousness playing filthy tricks on me… XD

— raven22372    Friday 30 November 2012, 20:51    #

Oh, I like this Faramir! And this Aragorn is pretty cute too. Looking forward to more!
Thanks for sharing,

Iris    Sunday 23 December 2012, 10:25    #

How did I miss these comments! Please accept my sincere apologies!!

Laivindur- Thank you :P It is of course all meant to be read as quite tongue-in-cheek so I hope I don’t ruffle too many purists! I’m glad you’re enjoying it so far!

Raven- Yeaaaaah, I don’t know. I think I may have let a little of a certain actor’s imagined capriciousness and mischief seep into Faramir’s dialogue there, ha! I think it’s safe to say that this story is about as far from canon as you could possibly get, but all in the name of fun and doing something a little different. Honestly, I don’t know where this story sprang from, it really was just a few paragraphs I found on the computer which began weeks of furious typing to what effect I don’t yet know. I think I know also what you mean by Sprachwitz, though I can’t quite put it into a definition myself, but I thank you most sincerely. Aragorn’s meant to be very self-effacing, ironic, self-deprecating and very self-aware, and probably a bit dry though I may have just named a bunch of things there and you’re going…‘but where is this in the text?’ I’ve tried not to make either of them too sarcastic, because I think t’s the easiest sort of humour to write, and gets a bit repetitive after a while and less funny. Not that I really believe anything else I’ve typed up there is going to win any comedy awards but I digress :P

And as for Faramir and horses…well, I’ll let imaginations do what they will, but I do like to try and write him as more than just a ranger with bow and arrow. He’s maybe no Rohirrim horse-lord (or an Aragorn!) but I like to think he’s quietly very competent at a lot of things and makes no fanfare about it, horsemanship included. Modest, is our steward, except in the discussion of bedroom performance! ;) Thank you so much for your thoughts!

Iris- Thank you for reading so far, and there will be an update soon, I promise (I realised I’d not added the next chapter when I meant to but I didn’t want to update right as the Midwinter stories were going up and push someone else off the front page with something else by me, but the next part is forthcoming shortly!) There is plenty more where this Faramir came from, and Aragorn too ;P Glad you like it, as nonsensical as it may yet be!

— Eora    Wednesday 26 December 2012, 0:46    #

Oh-oh, my poor aching heart – and the poor aching corners of my mouth, too! For this is so loving and heart-warming, with the delicate sense of humour coming on velvet paws… I can´t even decide if I should laugh or cry and this is a compliment (and therefore true). :) Poor Aragorn, has cut off a speech that might have revealed something quite important, because he finds himself unable to stand the feeling of red-hot embarrassment for two single seconds longer. Don´t get me wrong, I´m not laughing at him at all. On the contrary, I find it incredibly loveable to see him cringing like that. ;) Challenging Sauron the Deceiver himself – HAHA, no problem! Facing twenty Uruk-Hai armed to the teeth (err, fangs) – not even worth a blink! But one word, one tiny more word that may contain even the slightest hint of a rejection – and he´s close to faint like anybody else in the same situation. And of course Faramir is even more lively and adorabe than ever, indeed, I can literally SEE his signature occupying half of the letter, with extra paraphs and the three little dots over the ´a´ (those Bilbo adds for decoration when writing his book).

If the tone of the narration wasn´t so warm and lighthearted I would almost worry about the end! But as things are the way they are I´m only afraid His Royal Majesty will find the clumsiest way of all to declare himself. ;) Or at least that is what he thinks about himself which makes him even more adorable. <3

— raven22372    Saturday 29 December 2012, 20:55    #

I lovelovelovelove it! The characters are, if not slightly ooc, delightful! There is one flaw, however… The abscence of MORE CHAPTERS!!! HURRY UP AND WRITE MORE! I AM ON MY KNEES! PLEASE!
This story is certainly a Brilliant, Lirimaer, PLEASE WRITE MORE!

collapsing and dying with need for more chapters

— Asëa    Monday 31 December 2012, 5:29    #

Ahhhaa, i’m so glad you’re enjoying it! :D And you can rest easy now, more chapters ARE most definitely on the way (the story is finished and sitting on my computer, but I think it’s better to leave the reader wanting more rather than flood everyone with the whole story all at once ;))

Thank you for your comment, it really made me smile! (And a happy new year!)

— Eora    Tuesday 1 January 2013, 16:04    #

Oops! Raven, I somehow missed your comment there! D: Forgive my blindness!

I think even kings get nervous too, and facing the truth over matters of the heart is often a far more intimidating prospect than facing off an army of orcs…so or I presume :P I know I’ve taken Aragorn’s character to almost the opposite extreme to that of the canon, I mean, I hardly see him in reality as being the sort to fumble over such things, though I do like to imagine him as being a little less stern in personality. I know the ring-quest was a rather serious undertaking, and that he does smile on occasion, but I like to think that as king, when not holding court or doing official things, he is at least a little more light-hearted when with friends!

Don’t hold off on worrying just yet, I’m sure our (in this case slightly hapless) king may yet have plenty opportunity to put his foot in it during events to come. Will there be a happy ending? Thing is, when I say that this piece is finished I may have left out the part concerning the very last chapter, and how there are a few paragraphs missing from the very end, so who knows how I decide to really wrap things up…:P I can promise you that Faramir will continue to be as lively as ever, though whether or not he is really receptive to Aragorn’s declarations is between me and my muse ;)

Thank you and happy new year! I hope you’ve had a wonderful one!

— Eora    Wednesday 2 January 2013, 0:24    #

Oh no no no! There´s absolutely no need to say sorry! I was perfectly well with a general reply. :) By the way, should I ever get the feeling that I somewhat lack the attention/praise I deserve I will ask myself “In this very situation, what would Faramir do?” Whereupon I will become all quiet and humble. Dealing with our beloved steward shapes the character, you know? :)

Perhaps the reason why our king tends to wrap himself into a slightly aloof attitude IS a certain fear of embarrassing situations? ;) Leaving book canon aside, I remember him rather dumbstruck when Gímli falls round his neck after his return from the death. And Éowyn´s cooking skills leave ihm cringing as well, and this is not aimed at the content of the stew… it just seems that common talk is one size too big for him – dealing with kings and lords is way easier! XD

Besides, and I will deny I ever said that: The Aragorn in the book, as admirable as he is, is not quite a loveable character. To me he appears rather distant towards ´normal´ people´s issues. I mean, he must have noticed Éowyn´s feelings and though he does not take any effort to clarify the situation. Any variation of “No thanks, I´m not interested because…” would have helped, but does he get off the fence? HAH!!

A doubtful happy end? NO NO NO NO NO, you won´t talk me into that! LALALALALALALALALA I cannot hear you!!!!

Okay, skip the last part. I´m far awy from pushing you into any direction. No, really. I am strong, I can deal with it! (sniffle)

— raven22372    Wednesday 2 January 2013, 21:33    #

Oh dear, I certainly didn’t intend to make you feel like Faramir does when he is ignored by his father :S You are not the lesser son! (What a strange metaphor…) But it is just as well that our favourite steward’s qualities are ones that we might take on ourselves and find we are not lit harshly by them :)

I think you are right, Aragorn (well, movie Aragorn) is a bit of a hypocrite I think, maybe. He is uncertain about his destiny, but then again doesn’t quite know how to place himself at the level of the ‘common man’ enough to not feel awkward when sampling Eowyn’s cooking or a jovial embrace from Gimli. Or maybe he feels perfectly at home as the anonymous ranger or soldier, but since his name and birthright is known to those he is surrounded by, maybe he feels he ought to behave a little more like a king should? And then Faramir comes along and Aragorn stumbles over himself in his mis-guided attempts to woo him, sort of :P

I would much rather have a more personable Aragorn, something about a king who is not only noble and wise but also kind and a good friend makes him all the more appealing. Poor Eowyn, though she does (canon-wise) end up with a rather acceptable husband in the end, don’t you agree?

Happy ending? What is that again? Hmm…let’s see, should I be kind to our boys or leave them hanging? ;P

Thank you again!!! :)

— Eora    Friday 11 January 2013, 22:30    #

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Man, what is your mouth doing to you? Don´t let it ruin your life!!! There are so many lovely things lips are capable of, go focus on those!!!

(cough cough) Err… well. I beg your pardon, I must have got carried away by my feelings. (sniff) Of course I would never try to take influence of any kind ever… ;)
What was I going to say? Ah yes. I CAN HEAR THEM. I swear I can hear their voices talking, so perfect you captured their tone. Faramir a little warmer, Aragorn a bit more mocking, but so well adjusted to each other. And then the images! This is a pictorial broadsheet full of beauty. The snow, the warm welcome, Faramir returning from his morning walk wet and in a slightly desolate state. No need to mention that now I feel inclined to draw those nightgowns…. oh my! :9

No worries, as a matter of fact I rather meant it like “dealing with out beloved Faramir Steward”. :) Really, sometimes when my huuuuuge ego is about to take me over, I try to remember what Faramir would do. “How important would this be to Faramir?” Occasionally it works (at least).

Quite an acceptable husband indeed HUM HUM HUM… definitely one for allday´s life, which you can´t say about (book) Aragorn. Most likely one has to be an immortal being to put up with so much supernatural nobility.

Beg your pardon again for this comment all shred into pieces. I´m not myself this morning, and now, after this enchanting reading, I have to go ponder about this night- err, shirt… :9

Totally irrelevant addendum: Ginger chest hair. (very shaky sigh)

And another one: “In my middle ages…” I absolutely support that! XD

— raven22372    Sunday 13 January 2013, 8:36    #

Whaaa! Noo! Let Aragorn stumble back to say that he do love him!
If you’re gonna torture them and us some more, please let it be alright asap at least!

— Laivindur    Sunday 13 January 2013, 20:23    #

YAY, the pitfalls are avoided!!! Rejoice, oh sons and daughters of Gondor, for the King´s clouded pate will be crowned with the halo of bliss again! \o/

Or, am I banging my drum too soon (eyes mistrustfully)? “To be continued”? What other cliffs are there to steer clear of? What is this new devilry the author is about to come up with? Do we have to fear for our heroes´ new found happiness???? /o\

(Cough cough) Err, sorry. Totally serious now. Erm. Yes. (Oxford voice on) Once more I´d like to point out how brilliantly the author points out the narrator´s insecurity and self- doubts, which is the more intriguing since he´s what one could call a person to be respected and used to deal with weighty issues. Also, mentioning the protagonists´physical averageness brings a refreshing breeze into the world of flawless superheroes and allows the reader to identify with them. And furthermore the writer of this comment would like to express her huge adoration for the author´s empathic writing and her subtle, affectionate sense of humor. (Oxford voice off, Dwarven voice on). May her beard never thin out! :)

— raven22372    Wednesday 23 January 2013, 13:17    #

Why am I so terrible at keeping up with comments? It’s not as if I’m not totally humbled by each one, I just seem to have the world’s worst attention span and get distracted by ten thousand other things and before you know it, two weeks have passed and I think to myself…time to post another chapt– hang on, the comments! D: So, please accept my heartfelt apologies again again forever again!

Laivindur, I’m very late in replying but hopefully your panic has been assuaged! Fret not, I really can’t be too cruel to these two for very long (even when writing more angst-ridden stories I can never finish them because I feel too sorry for everyone!) Thank you!

And Raven, my eternal inspirer (your coronation-rehearsal story is so very nearly finished…a paragraph or two more…it got a bit out of hand and is a lot longer than I anticipated, so I hope you don’t mind!) I thank you again, and attempt to combine my reply to two of your comments into one and somehow have it make sense even though the first comment will have questions that may have been answered by the chapter in between and I don’t know, help! To be continued indeed…in about five minutes when I upload the next chapter…I won’t spoil anything at all :P

While this story is generally just a tongue-in-cheek example of nonsense (well, sort of) I still can’t help but harken back to my most favourite of themes, i.e. the ‘weak’ king, here diluted slightly– we have Aragorn’s insistent internal monologue second-guessing himself, doubting, worrying away, wishing he hadn’t said this or that and altogether making a bit of an arse of being in love, but then again, why should kings be immune to that which can make us all a bit silly at times? And I’m sure, in an alternate universe where I have infinite time, patience and no distractions the version of the story written from Faramir’s perspective will have exactly the same volume of niggling little voices in the back of his mind stressing out about the perfect time and place to confess his feelings to Aragorn, or inwardly vocalising his anxiety over whether or not the king prefers redheads (and their chest hair) :P I don’t know, I really don’t think I’m very good at any of this writing lark whatsoever, it’s all just a bit of fun for myself but I at least hope that in my attempt to make the characters as ‘real’ as they are to me in my head (how do I explain? When I think of them all no-one is on a pedestal…I’m interested in the people themselves, the minutiae of their daily lives, their thoughts and dreams and fears…the realism of awkward, non-Hollywood sex, ha!) I’m creating something that is at least passable? As for physical averageness, I find it generally more attractive than looking at someone straight from the pages of Middle Earth Vogue or whatever :P Nobody’s perfect and that’s the best part [strokes beard] :)

— Eora    Sunday 3 February 2013, 22:35    #

Oh no no no! Do you not apologize for fan work not counting as a respectable occupation you get a kingly salary for! It´s an unfortunate fact that even the most dedicated writer suffers of constant distraction by real life´s demands. But no matter how massive the pressure, do always remember rule no. 243: “Thou shalt not let the feelings of guilt get between you and your creativity!” :)

But now. Eventually! :D They made it! With a little push from a benevolent author, that is. Rejoice, o Gondor!!! :D After endless squirming and suffering finally the first morning under the ostensibly NOT-seeing eyes of the servantry! What a great day for the realm! :D

Indeed, I have no doubt that given we would unscrew Faramir´s head and take a look inside, we would catch a sight of the same mental turmoil. A thicket of hope, fear, doubts and the omnipresent feeling of coming across terribly stupid, woven around a center of stainless virtue and glory: THE KING. The King who never does anything wrong. The king who never doubts or feel silly. The King… oh, well, he could take a bath now and then…

Speaking of it:
“I thought frequent baths were a thing you were doing now?”
I always had the vague feeling there was a certain gap yawning in the movie script but couldn´t figure it out until you came up with hhis sentence..! XDDD Yes, Mr. King, wasn´t that part of your daily duties? As in:
19:00 – Small private Dinner with close friends
20:00 – Discussing the preparations for the upcoming bards´ contest
21:00 – General relaxation by the fireplace with a cup of wine
22:00 – Daily BATH, including head massage and subsequent foot reflexology
22:30 – to bed with hottie and favourite pillow; bedtime story at 22:45, lights off at 23:00.

But again I digress when it´s actually my intention to praise your achievement! Which of course I fully blame you for. It´s oviously impossible for me to read through even the shortest piece of Eora literature without hatching a thousand ideas and a million thoughts. In earlier centuries your writing would have certainly drawn the attention of the Department for Witchcraft, Spells and other Supernatural Activities!

P.S.: It´s also impossible to not need at least one tissue. The intense atmosphere of universal affection and comfort you create makes the lack of it in RL way too palpable and you shalt not get away without a big, wet, sobbing hug. :)

P.P.S.: I still can´t believe there is a ´coronation´ fic under construction. Seriously. The universe must be mistaken here. Oh my… :)))

P.P.P.S.: One tiny subject that has nothing to do with your fabulous work (or, well, actually it does) but since I´d like to avoid spamming your mail box again with count- and mainly meaningless messages, I thought it better to drop it here:
Given that the fabulous tea has come to a quick and definite end and left nothing but its prettily printed box, I wonder whether it is recommendable to store English tea in a can saying “Scottish Breakfast tea”. Do you, as an expert, think this would cause any severe problems? I fear revolt, mayhem, and the ghosts of blue painted men roaring “FREEDOM!!!!” in my kitchen…

— raven22372    Thursday 7 February 2013, 20:39    #

“You’re a funny one.” – I can´t help figuring Glenn Owen Dodds saying this…

And since I´ve started this quotation thing:
“I can’t believe I just slept with the king,” – I might be overinterpreting once more but to me this tiny simple sentence grants us a quick glance on Faramir´s own insecurities. All the time he appears to act with sleepwalking self-confidence and sudenly he is like “Omg, I can´t believe this is happening!”

And for another unknown reason I find the image of two proper men trying to hide behind statue incredibly pleasing. Like in a cartoon when all you can see is a column/tree/statue with a belly and redundant feet and No no, there´s absolutely nobody back here. X) Of course my same warm affection goes to a slightly intoxicated Aragorn. I bet he has long found a method to look very grave and focussed, ´an image of the splendor of the kings of Men´, so to say, when in truth his only desire is to get into his steward´s pants asap. X)

Again you created such a rich atmosphere of love and understanding and humour – if it was me to leave the country and discover the great wide world, this was exactly what I would take with me to ease the pain of homesickness!

Somehow I had expected Faramir being the steersman in this encounter… but for Idontknowhich reason the fact that he is NOT adds a strangely delicate aspect… like, of course its´s Aragorn telling the story, but at the same time it´s also the first-person narrator and… okay, this might sound very silly, but the notion of having sexual intercourse with err, Faramir, and being, err, ON TOP is err…WOW. To the power of ten. With an echo. Err. I think I better get a cloth and care about that puddle of saliva before any innocent passer-by accidently slips and gets hurt…

Plus: I´m firmly convinced of ´epiphanous`being a word. And if not, I´ll be the first one who vote for it to make its way into the Oxford Dictionary!

Eight days left! :D Have no fear, Eora! The forces of good are with you and it will all turn out fine! :D

— raven22372    Sunday 17 February 2013, 8:36    #

I really enjoyed this piece. I liked the chemistry between the two and esp. Faramir’s optimism and playfulness. Very nice work.

— Nessa Lossëhelin    Friday 22 February 2013, 17:02    #

…Blonder now with age…
And I thought that was only my perception. Aah, the Austra… Ithilien sun! ;)

This, my dear. This is the most shameless and beautiful declaration of love an object of desire could ever wish for. :) If all these divine images became photographs, they would make the most exquisite picture book – if they became frescoes and murals, they would make a second Sistine Chapel. Your fics – and that means all of them – are monuments of love for their protagonists and it´s almost a pity the ´real´ people can´t read them (though, who knows?). I genuflect in awe! :)

And just when the beauty of the man scenery is about to make your heart break, you add that pinch of reality that grounds the story and makes the characters even more adorable. An ´ever after´ after ´and they lived happily…´You give us an enchanting (and though convincing) idea of a well-working relationship when the ´hot phase´ (is that a term at all?) is over. The excitement has ceased, the presence of the other one has become familiar. And though the tension has not been replaced by habit, the respect for each other is still there. I like this calm, serene tableau; it spreads so much faith. They´re now on a level when you don´t ned the other one around to know he´s there. Time has not worn out this relationship but made it solid.

I´m glad to learn that, in the turmoil of RL, you still find time to do what you love to do. :) And of course I agree to your suggestion regarding err, material issues, I was just worrying it might get you into trouble. I promise there will be a reply coming in soon – and I´m firmly determined to keep it short, so you can focus on other things (like, the sighting of unexpected redheads)! Keep an eye on your flip flops, dear, and mind your sun screen!

— raven22372    Tuesday 19 March 2013, 7:35    #

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