Faramir Fiction Archive

That which you can never have (NC-17)

Written by Anorienbean

24 April 2007 | 23005 words

Chapter 14

When Haldir finally came back into the clearing, he made as much noise as possible, so that the brothers couldn’t help but hear him. He fully expected Faramir to tell him that he would be returning to Gondor with Boromir, and he told himself that he had no right to keep the Man he loved from getting to know his own brother. But, Gods, it would kill him to let Faramir go.

Faramir was sitting back against the tree where Haldir had left him when he returned, and Boromir was no where in sight. Sitting beside his lover, the golden Elf gazed off into the distance and stated the obvious.

“You let him go.”

Faramir looked down at his hands and nodded. “Aye. I couldn’t let you hurt him, Haldir. He is the only family I have, really.”

Haldir nodded and lifted Faramir’s tunic up without a word, then began packing the herbs into the wound. “I suppose he’s coming back for you then?”

“Coming back?” Faramir winced as Haldir pressed a little too hard against the cut on his side. He looked down and saw that his lover’s fingers were shaking. “Haldir… Boromir went back to Gondor. He’s not coming back for me.”

Worried blue eyes opened wide and met Faramir’s gaze. “But…”

“But nothing. I love you, and if you still want me, I’m going to Lothlórien to live with you in a talan of our own.”

Haldir could hardly believe his ears. Carefully pulling Faramir against him, he pressed a kiss to his temple and sighed with relief. “I thought you were leaving with him. I saw him holding you and…”

Faramir smiled and rested his head against Haldir’s shoulders. “His arms weren’t as gentle as yours, though he tried his best.” He lifted one hand up and combed his fingers through long blond hair as he continued. “And they just don’t fit as well around me as yours do.”

Haldir couldn’t help but laugh softly in delight.

“I know you don’t like him, but can he come visit us, do you think?” Faramir seemed almost afraid to ask, but figured at worst, Haldir would only say no.

“The talan will be as much yours as it is mine,” Haldir promised. “So if you wish him to visit, all you have to do is send word to him.”

Faramir rested his head on Haldir’s shoulder and smiled. “I’ve never had a place like that,” he murmured. “A place were I was wanted and welcomed and could call my own.”

“Well, meleth, your life is about to change.”

Thanks to the wound on his side, Faramir was unable to ride Nahir for the remainder of the trip. He tried more than once, but Haldir could see that it hurt him, and would always gently pull his lover, (who would, of course, be apologizing profusely) from the horse, assuring Faramir that it was no trouble to carry him.

And so they made their way to Lothlorien, Faramir in Haldir’s arms and Nahir following close behind. It was dark when they arrived, and both Man and Elf were exhausted. They stopped by the healer’s talan, where they were told that Faramir’s wound was healing well and were given some more herbs to speed the healing along. Faramir was stunned that the healer didn’t seem to think less of him because of his legs and when he told Haldir this, the golden Elf had simply smiled and promised him that he would have many, many such surprises as he met the other Elves of Lothlorien.

“Welcome home, love,” Haldir whispered as he carried his lover up the winding staircase of the talan where they would live until Haldir built them one that was more accessible to Faramir.

Carefully, he laid Faramir back on their bed, promising to show him everything the next day. Haldir undressed, helped Faramir off with his breeches, then crawled into bed next to his lover.

“Are you all right, Haldir?” Faramir’s voice was soft in the darkness, as he snuggled up close to Haldir.

“I’m fine, just tired,” Haldir whispered.

Faramir felt ashamed that he hadn’t been able to ride the last few days, and wondered if Haldir regretted bringing him here. “I’m sorry to be so much trouble. I could have… ”

“I’m tired,” Haldir interrupted, letting his hands move over Faramir’s back in a gentle caress, “but I’ve never been happier in all my years.”

Faramir thought about his lover’s words and smiled, though Haldir couldn’t see him in the darkness. “Me too,” he whispered, relaxing and realizing that despite the slight pain still in his side, despite the fact that his legs were still withered and useless, and despite the fact that he had left the only home he’d ever known to live in a strange land where he knew only Haldir, he truly was happy. “Me too.” He fell asleep moments later, safe in Haldir’s embrace, and thinking that yes, things might just work out after all.

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