Faramir Fiction Archive

Shattered illusions (R)

Written by Finduilas Minyatur

06 June 2013 | 8607 words | Work in Progress

Title: Shattered illusions
Author: Finduilas Minyatur
Rating: R
Pairing(s): Faramir
Warnings: Domestic violence, child abuse
NB: English is not my primary language and that the grammar and spelling mistakes,witch I know there must be quite a lot,are all mine.

How many times he repeated what had happened in his head he could not make it undone. He had hurt his wife, the one he swore to protect with all his power. He had lifted his hand and struck her fully aware of what he was doing.
Is Faramir really as loving and caring as so many seems to think? What if years of always comming second and never feeling anything else but ‘sufficient’ have become to much for him to handle?
Added: Chapter IV

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III

Aragorn stood outside the door to the room where Éowyn was resting. He dreaded this conversation. He didn’t want to hear what had happened to the Shieldmaiden of Rohan. He wanted to see her as he remembered her. He wanted to remember the strong soldier, unyielding and powerful, the one who had fought so bravely in the war against such evil. The woman he had met in Edoras who wouldn’t allow any man or anyone controlling her or turn her into this submitting woman. A thought hit him. Maybe it was just such a person that they all had thought Faramir to be to put her into this state. They had all been fooled by his gentleness and the care he bore for other people. It had seemed to them all that Faramir always cared more for the sake of others than himself. How could they have been so blind and ignorant? How betrayed Éowyn must feel. Not one of them had cared enough to see. This was something that Aragorn would never forgive himself for. Nor would he try. Guilt was a small payment for allowing this to go on for so many years. He thought back to Elboron, he wondered if the child’s sleep was restless or if he was allowed the rest he needed as much as his mother, but he knew that as long as Arwen was with him it would be alright. He could still feel the little body in his arms give in to the slumber.

It hadn’t taken long before Elboron was asleep in the king’s arms. Arwen had looked at the child and her husband with tears in her eyes. Tears of sadness for the hurting and frighten child, but also tears coming from another place that stirred deep inside her. Looking at how Aragorn cared for the child made her longing for a son of their own. She longed for the child in her visions and seeing the king show their future son the same tenderness and love that this child was shown. She smiled a weak smile. If she had ever been worried that Estel wouldn’t be a wonderful father this little scene washed away all of such worries. She stepped closer the two and stroked the small boy over his unruly, dark hair.

“Sleep little one,” she whispered softly. “And when you wake up in the morning you will see the light of life again.” Aragorn had swallowed hard upon hearing these words. It was the words Lord Elrond had spoken to him soon after his mother had passed away. He adjusted his hold on the boy and leaned forward to kiss his wife softly and loving on the cheek.

“Will you take him somewhere he can sleep in peace?” He had begged her. “I need to go to the House of Healing and see how Éowyn is faring.” Arwen would very much have wanted to go herself but she nodded, deciding that the conversation that her husband and close friend would have would not be something that she should be listening to. She took the little boy, that was handing over to her, in her arms and begun to hum a soft lullaby in Elvish.

“Be gentle with her, my love,” she said quietly so that she wouldn’t wake Elboron up. “She has been through so much and she must feel so alone. You mean ‘hope’ my love, give that to her. Give her hope and comfort.” Arwen tilted in and rested her cheek on Aragorn’s upper arm. He had immediately wrapped his arms around the couple and hugged them before he left.

Now he stood here, the walk had taken less time than he had hoped it would have. He lifted his hand and knocked ever so careful on the rough wood.

Éowyn lay in her bed, with pillows behind her back. She was pale and looked through the window with a glazed look in her eyes. Her head was wrapped in many layers of stripes of cloth. Here and there were brownish spots of dried blood. She hated this, being trapped and carefully watched. She had no idea how all of this had happen. The last thing she remembered was when she was screaming at Faramir, telling him to let go of her, that he was hurting her. From there it was all darkness and pain. She didn’t remember anything before waking up and had people fussing over her. Repeating over and over again how sorry they were for her sake. All she wanted was to get out of this place. The soft knocking on the door made her aware of the present.

“Come,” she said a little bit too more agitated than intended. She was just so fed up with the healers always running in and out all the time. She wanted to be left alone with her thoughts and distress. When she saw who the visitor was she jerked up, Witch did nothing good to the aching in her back and head. A sudden flair of pain that shot at her like a dagger made her to slightly moan and close her eyes.

Aragorn was right by her side. He placed his hands on her shoulders.

“Be at peace, Éowyn. You need to rest,” he said with such a gentle voice that Éowyn went completely relaxed. As carefully as he could the king helped her lie back down. She obeyed right away, a sign to the man that the woman must be truly exhausted. Aragorn pulled the cover over her, patted her knee a little awkward and smiled a weak and sad smile. “We all want you to be on your feet as soon as you can.”

“Faramir also?” she asked carefully and looked with much concern on the king. How much did he know? Had Faramir told them? No he would never tell anyone, he would find a loophole like he always did. He could lie to someone straight in the face and it was never really a lie in the first place. He just didn’t answer the real question. But that wasn’t the same with Elboron. The child was still too young to know how to do that. Had he told anyone? This time all of this had affected him more than emotionally.

Aragorn’s face darkened and he sat down on the chair next to her bed and he closed his eyes.

“Even now, when you’ve just woken up after the ordeal that he put you through, you still ask for him,” he said through his teeth. Éowyn blinked a few times before could compose herself upon hearing this.

“He told you?” she asked and swallowed hard. Aragorn nodded.

“Yes he did, but the state you were in when we found you was proof enough. I can assure you that something like this will never happen again. He will never hurt you or Elboron!” Éowyn looked away and clasped a hand over her mouth. She didn’t know what she felt. The closest feeling must be relief. She closed her eyes and soon tears started to flow down her cheeks. She turned her back towards Aragorn and hid her face in the pillows. Her back and shoulders trembled and soft muffled sobs could be heard. Aragorn could not bear to see or hear this. He stood up from the chair and came around to the other side of the bed.

“You don’t need to hide or shield away from me Éowyn.” He gently pulled her up in his arms and held her against his body. He started to rock her, stroking her hair and kissing her temples. ”I don’t pretend to know what you must be going through, but I know this, you are not alone anymore and, whatever you may feel, you are not weak, you are not to blame and everything will be alright from now.” These words broke every little bit of self-control that Éowyn had left. She slumped against her king and wrapped her arms around him.

“Oh Aragorn…” She sobbed as a child and Aragorn just continued to comfort her. “I am so afraid,” her words were pained and she continued to cling to Aragorn’s clothes. “He never shows how angry he is when we are among other people. To them and to you all he is always so gentle and kind, but when there is just him and me even the slightest little thing sets him off.” Aragorn felt his whole body go rigid. He was glad that he didn’t have to ask her, but he was still appalled of what he heard. Éowyn sat back, still holding the king’s hands. She needed the comfort and strength to go on. “I know that he has had a hard life. His father never showed him any love. He was always compared to Boromir, to whom he always lost, and nothing he did was ever good enough in his father’s eyes. He was always punished and hurt when he said something that his father didn’t approve of.” She swallowed hard and her lower lip trembled slightly. “Have you seen the scars on his body? Not the ones from battle but the other ones. Still, after so many years they are still there almost as visible as if they just happened.” Again she leaned in to Aragorn’s chest. He didn’t objected, how could he when the woman in his arms was so hurt and needed him so much?

“It is truly awful and no child or adult should have to go through that, but it doesn’t make it alright for him to hurt you in the same way.” The king didn’t know what to do or say to make her feel better. Just being here was perhaps enough. The woman’s tears did not end upon hearing those words, but it eased her a little bit.

“But I should have been more patient with him. I should have thought about his past and…”

“No!” Aragorn interrupted her. “Don’t take any blame upon yourself. He had a decision to make and he decided to hurt you and your son.” Éowyn sniffled a bit and whipped away some of the tears from her cheeks.

“Elboron, how is he? Faramir hurt him too and I couldn’t do anything to stop him, but I tried. I really did! Have you seen Elboron? Does he hate me?” The words flew from her lips like a waterfall. The eager and concern in her voice could not be mistaken. Aragorn hugged her and kissed her forehead and with his thumbs he wiped away some of the stray tears on the woman’s pale cheeks.

“Hush, sweet Éowyn. You don’t need to worry. Elboron is fine, he loves you so much. He is sound asleep with Arwen and he asked about you over and over again.” How could she think that her son would blame her for anything? The boy was bright and clever. He understood when you spoke to him and he listened. Aragorn hoped that his future sons and daughters would be much alike Elboron. “You need to sleep now,” he said and lowered her down and yet again pulled the cover over her shaking body. “I will return to you as soon as I can.” He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheeks. It had seemed to him that when he kissed her she relaxed a bit more. It was innocent and just for comfort so none of them thought anything about it. Éowyn reached out her hand and grasped the man’s just before he got up.

“Thank you for everything Aragorn. You have given me hope,” she said and smiled to him. The first smile he had said seen since he came in to this room. “Tell Arwen to look after my son and tell her that I would love to see them both soon.” Her smile faded and tears started to appear in her eyes again. “And please tell Faramir when you see him again that… that I still love him.” Aragorn froze in his steps. How could she say something like this? How could she still love him? But he just cast down his eyes and bowed to her with a weak smile on his lips,

“He does not deserve your love, but I will tell him.” Aragorn looked at the woman when she closed her eyes and seemed to be as ease before he went out of the room and closed it carefully behind him. He turned around when he heard footsteps coming his way in a hurried way. A palace boy came running towards him.

“My lord,” the boy breathed and tried to calm down. “The queen, Lady Arwen needs you right now, my lord, something about young lord Elboron.” Aragorn thanked the boy before he hurried towards his and Arwen’s chambers. Whatever it was it was not something good. Oh Gods let him be alright, he thought to himself.

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