Faramir Fiction Archive

Paying the Piper (G)

Written by Shireling

15 November 2005 | 22964 words

Chapter 3

Being led back up through the entire city on horseback was an exercise in profound and gut-wrenching mortification. Faramir wished fervently that he could simply disappear but his escort of noble Elves and his young adjutant had him expertly contained and he knew he could not evade them, nor would he dare risk antagonising Lord Elrond further for fear that he would make good his promise of exacting retribution in public.

Faramir silently cursed his own stupidity and closed his eyes against the spectacle he had made of himself.

Back in his chambers Lord Elrond ordered Faramir into the bath while a meal was prepared. The Healer examined and re-bandaged his ribs and then sat at his bedside until every mouthful of the meal had been consumed. Without a word he handed Faramir a measure of medicine.

“I don’t need it,” Faramir said, handing it back untouched.

“You will drink it, though it is your choice as to if you do so willingly,” the Elf Lord explained with a chilling grin.

“. . .but it is not necessary, I assure you I am fine.”

“Tamir, I require your assistance.” Lord Elrond called Tamir over and they towered over Faramir, one stood on each side of the bed; the effect was most intimidating.

“Alright. . .alright!” Faramir snatched the vial and swallowed down the medicine. He didn’t bother to look up to see the Elf Lord’s grin or Tamir’s worried expression. He rolled over and grasped his pillow, burying his face into its soft depth. Within moments a warm drowsiness washed over him and he surrendered himself to sleep.

Lord Elrond ushered Tamir through to the ante-room where his sons were waiting and quietly closed the door.

“Is he alright, Ada?”

“Has he taken any lasting harm?”

“I’m sorry, Ada, we didn’t realise…”

“He assured us he was fine!”

Lord Elrond raised his hand to quell any further explanations. He eyed his sons with thin-lipped silence. It was a look they both recognised and treated with the utmost caution. Tamir sensing the tension in the air moved over to the desk and attempted to make himself as inconspicuous as possible.

It was not often that the Elf Lord allowed his feelings to show but his exasperation with Faramir for his actions and with his sons for not handling the situation more sensibly pushed his patience beyond breaking point.

He never raised his voice but his tirade was forceful and scathingly eloquent. His sons stood to attention in the face of his wrath like two pale-faced, marble statues, neither daring to catch the other’s eye for fear of inviting a more physical chastisement.

The tirade only halted when a violent crash echoed through the chamber. All four occupants of the room turned as one to see Faramir standing in the doorway, the door still swinging on its hinges from the force of his entrance. It was an incongruous sight, Faramir, pale as a ghost, his hair tousled and damp with sweat, his crumpled nightshirt flapping around his knees and his eyes. . . his eyes were glassy and unfocussed. Only his hands, braced on either side of the doorframe, appeared to be holding him upright.

“What in blazes does an invalid have to do to get some PEACE in this place?” he yelled. “First you forcibly dose me with your foul concoctions with the intent of rendering me unconscious and then you have the gall to disturb me when I finally succumb to your ministrations. Have you no pity?” Faramir pleaded, his whole body quivering with tension.

“I appreciate your concern for my welfare, My Lord, but please, if you really feel the need to lambaste your sons for something over which they had no control then at least have the courtesy to do so elsewhere! It was my decision to attend the archery lesson, just as it was my decision to decide that I was fit to lay aside your instructions . . . not Tamir, and most definitely not your sons!” Faramir swayed on his feet and both Tamir and Lord Elrond took a step towards him. Faramir shooed them away.

“Tamir, escort the noble Lords from my chamber,” he ordered.

“But, My Lord. . .”

“That is an order, Tamir. I want them gone and I want a guard posted with orders that none are to be allowed entry until I give permission . . .Is that clear?” Faramir spun on his heals and went back into his bedchamber, slamming the door behind him.

“My Lord, I am so..sorry. I don’t…that is…that is not like Lord Faramir to be so…ru…brusque. I’m sure he didn’t mean it, Sir.” Tamir broke the stunned silence that followed Faramir’s exit.

“Peace, Tamir,” the Elf Lord smiled his reassurance at the flustered and distressed youngster.

“But. . .”

“Hush, child.” The healer placed a reassuring hand on Tamir’s shoulder. “My sons, I believe it is best if we avoid any further distress to either the Steward or his Adjutant by acceding to Lord Faramir’s orders. I will join you shortly,” he said, shooing his sons away.

“What am I to do, Sir?” Tamir pleaded, eyeing the closed door to Faramir’s chamber.

“It will be alright, Tamir. I suspect Lord Faramir’s outburst was a reaction to the medicine I gave him. . I have seen such a reaction before. He will likely not even remember this when he wakes,” the Elf Lord soothed.

With one arm around Tamir’s shoulder he indicated that the boy be silent as he quietly opened the door into Faramir’s bedchamber. The room was quiet and dark. Faramir lay diagonally across the bed, his bare feet dangling over the edge of the mattress. He was deeply asleep and didn’t stir when they moved him and tucked the covers around him.

“He will sleep till morning, Tamir. Do not fret.”

“I will stay with him, My Lord. . .in case he wakes and requires anything.”

“Very well but make sure that you get some rest. You may tell Lord Faramir that he is to remain in his chambers tomorrow. I rely on you to ensure that he eats,” the Elf Lord said with a grin. “I will leave it to Faramir to decide if he needs to take any medicine for pain. Send for me if you need me, I believe he will be more comfortable without my presence. It will give him time to consider the folly of his actions.”

“I’m sorry, My Lord. . .I’m sure he appreciates your care. . .”

“You’re a good lad.” Lord Elrond patted the adjutant on the shoulder. He paused on his way out and turned the key in the door to the clothes closet; he removed the key and handed it to the wide-eyed youngster. “We don’t want any more unauthorised departures, do we? Best to remove temptation!” he grinned.

Faramir endured a further day of incarceration with almost silent ill-humour. He ate what was presented to him and took a half-dose of pain medication as necessary. He waited until Tamir left on an errand to get up, only to discover his clothes closet locked. Growling in frustration he donned a long woollen robe and stalked to the door of his chambers only to find his exit barred by two guards at the door.

“Do you require something, My Lord,” the older of the two men enquired, doing his best to suppress a smirk and keep his expression impassive.

“I require that you let me past.”

“”Forgive me, My Lord, but I’m afraid that will not be possible. We are under strict orders to ensure that you remain resting in your room.”

“Well, I rescind those orders and release you from the remained of your shift.”

”With the greatest respect, I’m afraid we can’t do that, My Lord. Our orders were most specific and came from Lord Elrond himself. You wouldn’t want to get us into trouble with the Noble Lord, would you, Sir?”

Faramir slumped in defeat and retreated back into his bedchamber to contemplate the mess he had made for himself. Tears of frustration prickled behind his eyes and burned in his throat but he would not allow himself the weakness of letting them fall. He had expected a scolding from Lord Elrond and it had not happened; the Elf Lord had uttered nothing in the way of reproach, no lecturing, no scolding, either on the practice field or once they had gained the privacy of his chambers. His silence on the subject was unnerving, Faramir would have preferred him to rant and rave as his Father would have done but that was not the Elf Lord’s way. And now his absence was most unsettling. Not for the first time Faramir wished for the King or Legolas to return; at least their reaction would be predictable, he could confess his foolishness to them and know that they would deal with it and allow him some peace.

Lord Elrond’s absence was wearing on his nerves.

“When is Lord Elrond coming to check up on me?” Faramir asked Tamir when the youngster returned.

“Not today, Sir, not unless you need him. Are you in pain, Sir? Should I send for him?”

“No, that won’t be necessary. Did he give you any indication of his plans?”

“He said he would be busy with the Warden today and that he would be by to see you after you break your fast on the morrow. . . to check that you are fit to return to duty, Sir. . . and I am to report to him directly if you do not cooperate with his instructions!” This last remark came out as a cringing whisper as though the young adjutant feared his Lordship’s reaction.

“Do not fret, Tamir, I will not risk further challenges to Lord Elrond’s instruction . . .I fear I am in enough trouble without adding to my already impressive tally!”

“You don’t think he’s angry with you, do you, Sir?”

“I don’t think he gets angry but I have no doubt that he will report the full extent of my foolishness to the King when he returns,” Faramir said as he slumped back down into bed.

Lord Elrond appeared as the servants were removing the breakfast trays. He examined the dishes and flashed a grin at Tamir when he noted that Faramir had indeed consumed a reasonable repast.

“Would you excuse us, Tamir, Lord Faramir and I have business to attend to.” Tamir bowed and took his leave with one last apologetic glance at Faramir as he closed the door.

Faramir submitted himself to the Healer’s examination with as much patience as he could muster. He flinched when the sutures were removed but could answer truthfully that his headache had gone and that the pain and stiffness from his bruised ribs was much improved. The still colourful bruises around his eye were the only visible reminder of his injuries.

“Well, My Lord, I am pleased to say that you are fit enough to return to duty. I dare say you will find that you tire easily for the next few days. . .I suggest you listen to what you body is telling you and rest when you need to. I advise you to refrain from riding or strenuous activity until your chest is fully recovered.” Faramir nodded and allowed the Healer to help him to don his tunic.

“Yes, Sir. Thank you for your care and attention. . . I’m sorry I was such a difficult patient!” Faramir said getting to his feet, hoping that his movement would encourage the Elf Lord to depart. A pregnant pause filled the room and the Elf Lord showed no signs of departing.

“Was there something else I can help you with, My Lord,” Faramir asked, taking post behind his chair.

“I believe that there are still matters that need to be attended to, Faramir, don’t you agree?”

If there was one conversation that Faramir wished to avoid above all others, it was this one. He recognised with chilling clarity that his recent behaviour was likely to attract, indeed actively warranted, what the King and Legolas both termed ‘loving attention’ but with them both absent there was no one he felt comfortable seeking that attention from, especially not this great and venerable Elf Lord.

“I apologise for my foolish action, My Lord. I do realise that it was reckless and irresponsible to go against your instructions. Please forgive me.” Faramir begged from behind the fragile safety of his chair.

Lord Elrond remained calm and passive, giving Faramir no hint of his feeling on the matter. Faramir cringed under the soul-searching scrutiny.

At long last Lord Elrond spoke. “Of course I forgive you, Faramir. It was an error of judgement not a heinous crime. . .” Faramir sagged with relief; however that relief was short lived as the Elf Lord continued “. . .however, I’m sure you will agree that even an error of this nature needs to be addressed!”

“I. . .I. . .I’m sure…surely my recognition of the error and my apology answers for it. My Lord.”

“Do you indeed!” The Elf Lord’s expression didn’t change. “Faramir, you have my forgiveness but tell me, are you able to forgive yourself? Are you able to deal with your own feelings about your actions? You are too hard on yourself, Faramir, far more severe than those who would offer you their support and guidance,” Lord Elrond explained with gentle compassion.

“Legolas and the King return soon. I would take my foolishness to them and ask one of them to attend to me, Sir.”

“That may not be for many days yet. You cannot think it a good idea to postpone this matter till then. I know that Estel wouldn’t approve of such a delay, not when I am here to help you to deal with it.”

“It is not ideal, I agree but I would prefer to have them deal with this. . .with me.”

“Faramir, I can’t in all conscience allow this to fester as you suggest; it is folly to allow this to hang over you. It will weigh more and more heavily as each hour passes.”

“Please, Sir. . .please. I don’t seek to escape what is due but I beg you to allow me to deal with this matter in my own way,” Faramir pleaded. Lord Elrond was not immune to his entreaties, indeed he could observe all too clearly just how anxious he was; the rapid beat of his pulse at his throat and the unconscious rubbing of slick palms against his tunic betrayed Faramir’s state, despite his attempts to project a calm façade.

“Come Faramir, let us not delay this any longer,” Lord Elrond commanded gently but firmly, his hand expended in silent invitation.

Faramir moved forward as if in a dream, though his movements were sluggish and forced. He took one step, two steps, three steps before coming to a shuddering halt, his eyes never leaving the hand extended towards him to bridge the fearsome gap.

“Come Faramir, you are quite safe,” the Elf Lord coaxed. Faramir remained transfixed in place; he swallowed hard and for a brief moment his eyes shot up to meet the Elf Lord’s calm visage.

“I’m sorry. . .so sorry. . .forgive me?” Faramir bolted from his own chamber leaving the stunned Elf Lord to gape after him.

Lord Elrond proceeded from Faramir’s chamber and made his way to the Royal apartments.

“What’s wrong, Ada? Is Faramir alright?” Arwen sensed as soon as he walked into the room that her Father was more perturbed than she had seen him in many years.

“He is about his duties,” the distracted healer replied, sinking into an armchair and rubbing his temples, a sure sign that something had disrupted his composure.

“What happened, Ada?”

“Faramir refused my attentions!”

“Oh, no. He refused to allow you to tend him? Why?”

“Oh, he allowed me to see to his injuries but when I sought to help him atone for his foolhardy actions, he fled.”

“I can’t believe that Faramir would seek to evade the consequences of his actions, Ada, he is too honourable, too noble. . .”

“No, daughter, you misunderstand, he expects to be held to account but he seems to have difficulty in accepting me in that role. He wishes to wait for Estel and the Prince to return.”

“But that could be days yet. . . he will have tied himself in knots by then, Ada. We both know how he buries his emotions and his guilt. You cannot have agreed to this, surely, Ada.”

“Neither can I force him to submit to my care, it must come willingly. . . I will not risk undoing the progress Estel and Legolas have made by coercing him. . .we both know that if I ordered him , his sense of duty would compel him to submit but I cannot, will not subject him to that,” the Elf Lord explained.

“Then what will you do, Ada?”

“The only thing I can do is accept his decision and hope that Estel returns sooner rather than later!”

“The last message he sent indicated that, provided there are no unforeseen delays, he should be back in two or three days. Will Faramir be alright till then?”

“Physically, yes, emotionally, who can say. I have let Estel down. I gave him my word that I would keep a close eye on Faramir and on all levels I have failed in my duty of care to him.”

“No one could have done more, Ada. We all know the burden of memory and grief that Faramir carries and not even your experience and compassion can undo all of his Father’s legacy,” Arwen reassured her Father as they sat together in quiet contemplation of the conundrum that was Faramir.

“What now, Ada?”

“I will have a word with him before today’s council meeting. He will not seek me out; he will see this morning’s action as another failure, another manifestation of weakness. . .I would have the air cleared between us and let him know that I respect his decision.”

Faramir and Tamir made their way to the council chamber deep in conversation, both with their hands full of scrolls and documents. Neither noticed the person waiting at the chamber door until they almost collided with him.

“My Lord. Tamir,” Lord Elrond bowed in greeting.

“Lord Elrond, forgive me, I didn’t see you.” The Elf Lord silenced any further apologies with a gesture. He relieved Faramir of his burdens and handed them to the Adjutant.

“Tamir, would you apologise to the Noble Councillors and tell them that the Lord Steward will be slightly delayed.” He was already leading a dumbstruck Faramir towards a small ante-chamber.

“My Lord, I really must protest. . .I cannot be late for Council.”

“I am sure the Councillors will forgive a few moments delay,” he led the flustered Steward into the chamber and gently pushed him down into a chair.

“About this morning, My Lord. I am sorry. . .it as unforgivable.. . . I-I…”

“Hush Faramir, I haven’t brought you here to take you to task, I have come to ask for your forgiveness!” the Elf Lord explained.

“What have you to apologise for, Sir? I was the one at fault. . .” Lord Elrond hushed any further self-condemnation by placing a finger across the young Steward’s lips.

“I have to apologise for pushing you into a situation you were not ready or able to cope with. . .And no, I do not think you actions cowardly or weak. I know you to be brave and honourable but I pushed too hard and I am sorry.” If anything this confession made Faramir even more uncomfortable.

“I don’t know why I ran, Sir. I knew it was wrong. . I don’t know why it was so difficult. . .so impossible to accept your attention.”

“Do not worry about it, Faramir If you are only comfortable in receiving that manner of attention from Estel or Legolas then we must both accept the fact and rejoice in the certainty that they are happy and willing to do that service for you. It is early days for you yet, Faramir, and I know that for you to be able to accept their attentions at all is a matter of relief to all of those who care for you.”

“It does not feel like a blessing when I am upended over their knees, squawking like a baby!” Faramir pouted with just the hint of a smile.

“Maybe not, but the relief comes when the storm has passed and you are once more surrounded by their affection and support, is that not so?”

“Yes, Sir. . .I have never known such peace of mind.”

“Faramir, you do know that I would never force my disciplinary attentions on you, don’t you? That you would be safe with me?”

“Yes, Sir.” The response was not as sure as either would like.

“Do you really believe it, Faramir, with you head and with your heart?” he asked, touching a gentle hand to Faramir’s head and then to his chest. He left his hand resting against his chest and could feel the racing heartbeat pounding beneath his touch. The Elf Lord sighed.

“Do you trust me Faramir?”

“Yes, Sir.” Faramir looked up into the benign age-wise eyes of the Elder and released his breath, letting go of a portion of his anxiety.

“Close your eyes, Faramir,” the Healer instructed. Faramir obeyed and felt the Elf Lord lift the circlet from his head to be replaced by the Healer’s cool hand. Instantly he felt a surge of energy and comfort flow from the Healer’s fingers. He dropped his head forward, his forehead coming to rest against the Elf Lord’s chest as he drank in the comfort, only recognising the residual tension in his own chest as it melted away under the Elf’s ministrations.

“Now, My Lord Steward, I believe the Councillors have waited long enough,” Lord Elrond’s whispered words broke the spell and Faramir raised his head to meet the Lord’s compassionate gaze. “Know, child, that I will be here for you, if and when you need me. Promise me only that you will not allow all that has occurred between us to weigh heavily upon you. If you still feel the need to wait for Estel’s return to deal with this matter then do so in the knowledge that you have my support and my understanding. I would not have this matter oppress you further.”

“Thank you, My Lord. I will heed you wisdom.” Faramir bowed and replaced his circlet. He caught hold of the Elf Lord’s hand and pressed his lips to the knuckles before touching the fingers to his forehead in a salute of thanks and reverence.

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