Faramir Fiction Archive

Only if… (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

29 June 2007 | 85653 words

Chapter 5

The weeks passed and it had been about three months since Haldir had come into Faramir’s life. They had gotten along since the ‘knife incident’ though Haldir did continue to speak his mind whenever he wanted and Faramir had no issue with that. As long as it kept to their chambers none had to know that Faramir allowed his slave more freedom than most.

On this day they had gone to the library, it was particularly cold outside, so there was little they could do besides stay curled up in their chamber by the fire and read. Faramir had found that Haldir seemed to enjoy curling up with him that way though, often just did without Faramir needing to pull him close or even ask. Sometimes, and happily so, he just ended up with a lap full of gorgeous Elf, and that was more than fine by Faramir.

They were choosing books to take back to their room, enough so they wouldn’t have to make the chilly trek again for a few days. Faramir’s part of the citadel was colder, less inhabited than the opposite side, but he liked his privacy there.

He heard Haldir fumble one of his books and looked up from the one he was flipping through. “What is it?” he asked as he saw his slave openly staring toward the end of the bookcase and unable to see what or who had caught his eye.

It took Haldir a moment to respond, but finally, he nodded toward the end of the case and looked back at Faramir in bewilderment. “I… who is that?” he asked, making no effort to hide his surprise at the dark haired, very pregnant Elf who was in the process of stacking books high up on a nearby shelf. “I’ve never seen her before, but she looks like she’s rather at home in here.”

Faramir smiled as he leaned around Haldir and saw Nalaia. “That is Nalaia, she is the librarian’s wife,” he explained, not even considering the implications. Faramir had known them since he was thirteen and the thought hadn’t crossed his mind how ‘odd’ it might seem to Haldir at all.

“Nalaia?” Haldir repeated the name, but wondered why a slave was working in the libraries when she obviously should have been at home resting. Still… He looked again. On second thought, she didn’t look all that unhappy to be in the library, and certainly not as if she’d been forced into working. His ears pricked when he heard her humming happily, and then the implications of Faramir’s words finally hit him. “The librarian’s wife? You mean your librarian is… is an Elf? How is that possible?”

Faramir startled when Haldir asked if the librarian was an Elf. “What? Oh… oh no… he’s not an Elf, he’s a Man, Haldir. I… oh,” he trailed off as it finally dawned on him why Haldir was confused. “You… you didn’t know that sometimes… though it’s not… very socially accepted here in Gondor… sometimes masters and slaves fall in love and marry. Nalaia was Aimery’s slave for only a short time actually when they fell in love. She’s carrying their third child in fact. It’s… well… its why I have his chambers in the citadel. Father was so angry when they wed that he almost banished them from Gondor completely, but I managed to make my father see reason. He did ask them to leave the citadel and move to a house in the upper circle but… he did allow them to stay. A few years later I asked permission to move into his old chambers and it was granted. Doesn’t that ever happen in Lórien? Slaves and masters… becoming more?”

Haldir’s eyes were wide as Faramir explained Nalaia and Aimery’s relationship, both now and in the past. He’d heard of masters and slaves falling in love, of course, but knew that it wasn’t common practice to openly declare their feelings, let alone marry. “Well, yes, not often,” he said, even more intrigued by how happy Nalaia looked as she continued to sing softly under her breath. “I mean… once or twice a Master and slave… an Elf and Human marry, but, certainly not often. They would be looked down upon, and… well, if this had happened in Lothlórien, I have no doubt they would both be shunned and banned from being inside our borders.” He sighed and turned back to Faramir. “I think it would take a great love indeed to overcome all the adversity they must face every day just because of how they feel for each other…” His words trailed off as he was distracted by seeing a book he’d been looking for just over Faramir’s shoulder. There was no one around to see them, so he simply leaned forward, grabbed the book and placed a kiss on his master’s cheek. “Have you ever loved someone like that, Faramir? So much that you would give up almost everything for them?”

Faramir smiled as he looked toward Nalaia. “They do share a great love I think,” he began but then Haldir kissed him so sweetly and his question rocked the man to his core. He simply stared at Haldir and found himself unable to answer for a moment. “I think that I could, if I was loved in return,” he answered finally. He looked away for a moment and managed a smile then. “Have you found everything you need?” he asked looking at the rather large stack of books Haldir had tucked under his arm.

Footsteps coming up behind them caused Haldir to stand a bit straighter and lower his eyes as he wondered how it would feel to love someone that much. He doubted he would ever know. Once he was freed from Gondor, he would return to Lothlórien and probably keep to himself, hoping no one would ask what he’d been doing for the past year in the human city. He certainly never planned to tell them that he’d been a pleasure slave of all things. “Yes, my Lord,” he said softly, sensing the approach of a human and an Elf. “I have everything, thank you.”

Faramir frowned slightly at the way Haldir was suddenly acting so submissive and then realized they had company. He turned in time to see his father and his slave approach. Faramir too stood a bit straighter and nodded. “Father, I did not expect to see you here,” he said knowing usually Denethor sent someone else to gather books for him. “And hello again, Melvir,” he said smiling at the slave. His father hated when he addressed his slave that way but both he and Boromir did it anyway. They did have names after all. Melvir looked up and gave a tentative smile and then glanced at the golden Elf with Faramir. He looked as if… .he was treated quite well though he’d expect that of Lord Faramir.

“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” Denethor said frowning and giving Haldir a cursory glance at first, then letting his eyes linger. “I must say you’ve good taste, I thought you’d never come around… but your first choice of slave is… quite attractive. Boromir had mentioned you’d taken one, I was quite proud to hear of it. Now that I see him though… it’s a pity we don’t still have the tradition of fathers and sons swapping slaves for a few nights now that I see him.”

Faramir tried to bite back a response that would likely get him into an argument with his father and merely nodded. The tradition had ended because it sometimes caused issues between those involved, jealousy, and pettiness to name just a few problems. It was also why only single men or women had pleasure slaves.

“At any rate, since I’m here, I need to speak with you about something…” Denethor said changing the subject.

“Of course,” Faramir nodded and placed his hand on Haldir’s arm. “I won’t be long, Haldir… perhaps you and Melvir can become acquainted.”

“Do you have to do that?” Denethor said again feeling a bit like a magpie constantly repeating questions to his sons. Usually the same ones.

“Do what, father?” Faramir asked innocently.

“Treat them like they are equals, it doesn’t matter what he wants. He should stand there and wait simply because it is his duty to do so. If you are finally taking a slave after all this time, at least do it properly.”

Faramir sighed as they rounded the bookcase to a more private area knowing he’d get a lecture plus have to discuss whatever business his father had in mind.

Haldir’s face flushed, but he lowered his head so that his hair would conceal it and gritted his teeth until Denethor and Faramir were out of sight. When he finally looked up, he saw Denethor’s rather timid looking slave standing before him, looking tired and almost hopeless. “How much longer must you serve him?” he asked softly, wondering how the Elf could even pretend to tolerate Denethor’s touch, though Haldir knew he had little choice. “Surely you’ll be free soon?”

Melvir was startled by the golden Elf’s question. “I… excuse me? Free?” he laughed bitterly. “Surely you are joking. I will be here until Denethor dies, which there are some days I think cannot be soon enough.”

Biting back his surprise, Haldir realized the he truly had been lucky to catch Faramir’s eye. “I am sorry, I just… some of the masters free their slaves, and… Gods, I do not see how you stand it. I know you must be loyal to him, but…” He shuddered as he looked down and saw the bruises on Melvir’s wrists and a large, darker one on the side of his neck. He remembered Faramir saying that Denethor had owned Melvir for several years now. “I think he must be a cruel master. I admire you for enduring him for so long. I do not think I could have done it.”

“He is kind sometimes,” Melvir said softly and sighed. “But most times he is not. His sons though… you are truly lucky to have Lord Faramir as a master, he is even kinder I think than Lord Boromir, who never beats his slaves. Elreath adores him even though she isn’t a pleasure slave I think… I think she is why Lord Boromir hasn’t taken a new pleasure slave these last few years,” he said smiling just a little as he leaned closer to Haldir to share the ‘secret’. Anytime a human truly fancied one of the slaves, the others took notice. Often it was some jealousy on their part, wishing they were treated that well, though other times it was simply joy for their brethren.

Haldir smiled and nodded, remembering Elreath’s stories about her time with Boromir, who, as Melvir had just confirmed, was almost as kind as Faramir. “He – Lord Faramir, I mean – is the best master one could have, I think, though I am still not happy with the idea of having a master at all.” He was leaning toward Melvir as well so the Men wouldn’t hear them. “I think we could almost be friends, if it were not for the fact that he technically owns me.” When Melvir looked surprised he rested one hand on the other Elf’s arm. “Maybe one day your master will tire of you, and if not set you free, at least let someone like Faramir take you?” Even as he spoke of his freedom, he rejected the idea. No, Melvir seemed nice enough, and deserved a better master certainly, but he wasn’t Faramir’s type. For some reason the very idea of Faramir taking another slave after Haldir was freed grated on his nerves, but he told himself that what his former master did after he left was really none of his concern. “Forgive me for being nosy, but… does he… force himself on you? Denethor I mean? I know many slaves give permission rather than be beaten, but Gods, I can’t imagine having that vile… I am sorry. That was incredibly rude of me to ask. Please pretend I did not say anything…”

Melvir’s eyes widened as Haldir spoke. “You should be careful what you say. It can get you into trouble, that even your master might not be able to protect you from if the right people overheard you,” he warned in reference to Haldir not liking being ‘owned’. “If anyone takes offense to anything we do or say… a slave can be punished. They do offer a choice though. Be flogged publicly by your master or be given to the guards for one night, and since they are under orders not to ‘ruin’ you for your master, they aren’t so horrible as you might think. You have to submit though. If you choose the guards then you are choosing for them to use as they see fit. I have done that a few times, and it is much better than being flogged.” He looked down though when Haldir spoke of Denethor forcing him. “My master is persuasive. If I submit, he won’t hurt me. I was… stubborn at first though and learned the hard way not to be. Master Denethor can be demanding and even cruel when angry, though much of the time he will merely rant. The problem for me has been learning when he will rant and when he will do… other things. There were so many rules to learn at first, and I made many mistakes. Have you? I… I mean made mistakes you were punished for? That’s a silly question I suppose, everyone has.”

Haldir looked down at his feet for a moment and shuddered as Melvir talked of being given to the guards. As the other Elf continued, however, he still couldn’t look up to meet the dark eyes before him. He’d never been punished, and when he and Faramir were alone in Faramir’s rooms, he was free to say anything that came to mind. Finally, he lifted his head but looked in Faramir’s direction instead of at Melvir. “I have made many mistakes,” he answered vaguely, leaving off the fact that he’d never been punished for them. He heard Denethor raising is voice as he was talking to Faramir, and Faramir’s calm, reassuring voice answering him. “It is hard to believe they are father and son. They are as different as night and day.”

Melvir watched the play of emotions on the other Elf’s face and wondered why he was looking so… wistfully after Lord Faramir. He nodded in agreement though. “They do seem to be don’t they? I think when one witnesses the three together it makes a little more sense. Watching the few times I’ve been allowed in the council chamber over the years you can see the differences and even some similarity between them.” He almost laughed when Haldir made a bit of a face.

“Gods, I hope not,” Haldir said with a smile. “Have you…” His words were cut off as he heard their masters stop talking and their voices started getting closer. He spoke low and quickly, hoping to make Melvir smile even as they both pulled back their shoulders and lowered their eyes. “If it gets too bad, maybe you can think of your master being a slave in Lórien or Imladris. I think that would put a smile on anyone’s face.”

Melvir had to bite his lip to keep from laughing at the idea of Denethor on his knees before him, hands bound and eyes downcast. Oh, that was an image he would dearly love to see. He tried not to smile as his master approached but couldn’t help himself.

Denethor raised his eyebrow wondering what the two Elves had been talking about, but if Melvir were cheerful then perhaps it would be an interesting afternoon. His eyes didn’t settle on the other Elf though or he might have recognized the adoring way he looked at his son. No slave had ever gazed at him with adoration.

Faramir made a bit of a face behind his father’s back as the man bade them a good day and grabbed Melvir’s arm roughly. “Good day, father,” Faramir called after him and looked at Haldir. “I’m sorry that took so long, I take it you and Melvir found things to talk about? He doesn’t smile often, so thank you for whatever you said that made him smile.”

Haldir thought that he wouldn’t smile either if he belonged to Denethor, but managed to keep from saying that out loud. “He is a nice Elf,” he murmured, seeing that the library was beginning to fill up. He kept his head bowed slightly, and his voice low. “Honestly, he makes me see how lucky I am to be yours. He had half a dozen bruises on his arms and neck alone.”

Faramir almost smiled when Haldir said he was lucky to be his but then frowned instead as he continued. “I… don’t approve of my father’s tactics with his slaves,” he murmured and took Haldir’s arm gently. “We should return, it’s getting crowded here.” He hated seeing Haldir with his head bowed like that. He knew it was proper, knew it was what he himself had told Haldir he must do in public when others were around but he hated it. Haldir was far too beautiful when he was in command of himself.

Without thinking, Haldir put his hand over Faramir’s as it lay on his arm, and gave it a gentle squeeze. He didn’t speak, knowing that his master would sense the warmth and gratefulness Haldir had put into the gesture, though he wondered at himself for thanking the man who’d made him a slave. “Aye,” he nodded as he released Faramir’s hand and turned to get the stack of books they’d chosen. “We should go.”

Faramir smiled happily when Haldir again touched him freely. It had happened more and more in the last weeks and he loved every single fleeting touch, every caress, and every tiny kiss that was given freely. He began gathering books and they made their way back upstairs to their room to spend the cold winter day curled up with their books and one another.

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