Faramir Fiction Archive

Only if… (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

29 June 2007 | 85653 words

Chapter 2

Haldir’s hand froze in mid air and he stared at Faramir, more confused than ever, especially when he realized that Faramir had stopped himself from calling Haldir his slave. What is he truly getting from this? It has to be more than him wanting to look at me… or even touch me. There must be something that he hasn’t told me. “Aye,” he said softly as he started to pull his arm away, but remembered that Faramir had every right to touch him. “You did tell me that. I suppose you can serve yourself then.” His confusion brought back his irritation at his situation, and his voice was sharper than he’d meant it to be. But, Faramir wanted the ‘pleasure’ of his company, so there seemed to be no need to stop himself from saying what was on his mind.

Faramir’s hand dropped away when Haldir’s voice sharpened, clearly irritated but he had no idea why. He sighed and shook his head, then began to fill his glass with wine and then did the same for Haldir. After all he had the bottle in his hand already so he didn’t consider it something one wouldn’t do when dining with another. He didn’t realize how oddly Haldir was looking at him though, but soon they settled into their meal. He thought about things to do that might make Haldir feel less uncomfortable. Granted other masters might not do that, but he wasn’t another master. So he thought if the Elf liked to read, he might want to go with him to the library that night or in the morning before they went to the market. “Do you like to read?” he asked after considering the idea for several minutes.

Nodding at once, Haldir couldn’t help but look around at the bookshelves with pleasure, still wondering why Faramir poured him something to drink. “Aye, I love to read. When I am not out on patrol, it is all I do most days and nights.” He was getting comfortably full and a bit more relaxed from the wine, but was on his guard again at once as he wondered if Faramir was about to rescind his offer to let Haldir spend his days as he wished. “Why do you ask?”

“This chamber is closest to the library, that is why I chose it, even though it is a great distance from my family’s chambers, I like it best here closest to the books. This was once our chief librarian’s chamber, but when he passed, his replacement chose to live outside the citadel with his wife,” Faramir explained carefully, leaving out the fact he was barred from living within the citadel by Faramir’s father for fathering a half Elf child and actually marrying the mother. It wasn’t common but it did happen sometimes and Denethor had been furious, but hadn’t banished the man completely, only because it would be too difficult to replace him. Faramir had been the one to convince his father of that. “I thought if you liked to read, that you might want to go there with me, either this evening or tomorrow before we go to the market.”

Haldir had never felt so off-balance in his life as he simply stared at Faramir for a moment. It seemed he was being asked if he wanted to visit the library, not ordered or barred from it, as he hard heard many of the harsher master’s slaves were. “I… um… yes, I would like that very much,” he admitted, not bothering to try and hide his surprise. “Since I will, apparently, be spending most of my time here for the next year, I would love nothing more than to have plenty to read. Thank you for offering.”

Faramir smiled and nodded. “You shouldn’t lack for reading material then,” he said not realizing that Haldir had expected the worst. He pushed his plate away after a moment and sat back to regard the Elf beside him again. Gods, he was incredibly beautiful. Faramir looked away after a moment. “If you’d like some fresh air, there is a balcony through there,” he pointed across the room, toward heavy drapes that covered the glass doors, “Or we can always take a walk in any of the gardens. For now, until you have been with me a while I would advise that we only go together or for you to go with another escort until people are aware that you are… mine.”

The idea that he would be allowed to go out at all was suddenly overshadowed by Faramir’s last word. Mine. He’d never ‘belonged’ to anyone before, in any manner, yet the single word brought an unwelcome shiver of… something… to Haldir’s spine, something he couldn’t even begin to fathom. “Yours.” The word felt strange on his tongue, but it was one he needed to get used to. “Aye, Lord Faramir, whatever else I am at the moment, I am yours, whether I like it or not.” He couldn’t help glancing toward the balcony, knowing that his beloved Golden Wood lay well beyond the forests and mountains, housing everything and everyone he held dear. “Will you let me write to my brothers? They will worry for me. I would at least like them to know that I have not been killed.”

Faramir had little idea what reaction Haldir had to the word ‘mine’ but he certainly knew how he felt with Haldir whispered ‘yours’ back to him. A fire seemed to leap inside him and his stomach fluttered. He tried to keep his face neutral though, until Haldir called him “lord” again. “Yes, and I should like it very much if you stop being so formal when it is just the two of us,” he grinned. “Just Faramir… and I did not know you had brother’s but I will allow you to write them. I do not know how we will get the messages to them with the way the war has been lately… but we can at least try. I too have a brother, so I certainly understand your desire to contact them.” Faramir stood up from the table and offered his hand to Haldir. “Walk with me.” He’d spoken it as a statement rather than a request, though Haldir could refuse and Faramir wouldn’t push. He did hope that he wouldn’t though.

Haldir hesitated for only a moment, realizing that he had a choice in the matter, but seeing no point in refusing. He stood, rested his hand in Faramir’s, and to his utter annoyance, found that he didn’t find the touch repulsive in the least. He’d been almost hoping he would, so that when the time came for Faramir to insist on touching him, or order him to pleasure him, his body wouldn’t react. That, unfortunately, didn’t seem to be the case. Faramir’s hand was warm and despite Haldir’s less-than-friendly attitude, still gentle and careful with him. He started to complain, to say he didn’t feel like walking, to see if Faramir would push this issue, but found that he really didn’t mind so much after all. He relaxed, even though he half expected Faramir to bind his hands to something and even managed a half smile. “Where are we going?”

“I thought you might want to at least see a bit of your new… home… before it gets too dark,” Faramir said leading Haldir toward the door. The guards looked at them for a moment, taking in the fact that the Elf looked much more civilized than he had earlier when they brought him in fighting with leaves in his hair and dirt on his clothes. Leading Haldir down the hall, Faramir turned down several passages until they were in a tiny garden. “This is one of my favorite places, and through those doors there, is my most favorite place,” he grinned. It was the back entrance to the library.

My new prison you mean. The words were on the tip of Haldir’s tongue as they left Faramir’s bedchambers, – no, their bedchambers, he corrected himself – but remembering that he was not to disrespect Faramir in front of his men, he kept his lips firmly shut, though it went against everything in him to walk so meekly beside his captor. He was distracted almost at once from his thoughts of how easily he could overwhelm Faramir and at least make a run for it, knowing that he would never do so, at least not for another 366 days. The garden was beautiful, and the library – Gods, the library was famous, even in Lothlórien. He’d long wished to visit, though this wasn’t exactly how he’d imagined it. “I imagine bringing a book out here to sit in the sunlight and relax would be the perfect end to almost any day,” he said softly as he reached out and ran his fingertips lightly over a dark red rose that was in full bloom just beside him. “It is lovely here, I must admit, though I was hoping I would hate it.”

Faramir smiled as Haldir said he was hoping he’d hate it. “I know you don’t wish to be here, Haldir… but at the very least maybe it won’t be too entirely unpleasant for you,” he said softly. Maybe one day you won’t hate me either. They spent a short time in the garden as the sun began to set and then Faramir led his companion into the library. “Choose as few or as many books as you like, and we’ll take them upstairs,” he said smiling as Haldir looked at the many rows of shelves. He loved this library and he was always glad to share it with another, especially someone whose eyes lit up like that at the sight of the books.

Haldir released Faramir’s hand without thinking and ran his fingers over the spines of books nearest to him, wondering just how many of the books he could read in the next year. Carefully pulling several from their shelves, he became completely lost in his task, and by the time he finally looked up at Faramir, he realized that over half an hour had passed and he had accumulated easily over a dozen thick tomes. Yet, Faramir hadn’t said a word, hadn’t hurried him, or told him to stop looking, and he suddenly felt guilty for taking such obvious pleasure in something else he wished he could hate. “I… I think that is enough for now,” he said quickly as he began gathering the books and laughing at himself as he saw that he’d taken practically every one from the first shelf next to the doorway. He was certain he could at least make a dent in the books before he was freed to return to his home, that is if Faramir didn’t expect him to spend much of his time doing… other things. He supposed they would figure that part out when they returned to Faramir’s rooms.

Faramir had stood off to the side while Haldir seemed to get completely caught up in selecting books, and he found a smile touching his lips. Haldir’s face for the first time was completely relaxed and a gentle smile graced full lips. Faramir wondered yet again what those lips would taste like… when Haldir had first snapped at him in his chamber that afternoon, he’d thought they would be hard, but now he imagined they’d be so soft and so very sweet. When Haldir finally realized what he was doing and looked up at him, Faramir smiled, and took several of the large books and tucked them under his arm. “We can come back here any time you want… and my chamber has plenty of books as well… but… I wanted you to have something of your own choosing today since… I’ve taken everything else away,” he said softly.

Haldir blinked at the words and realized that he should still be feeling angry at Faramir. He was right, he had taken everything away, yet he couldn’t quite seem to hate him at the moment, considering how kind he’d been over the last few hours. He was, after all, a prisoner of Gondor, and the Elves had more than a few Men as their slaves as well. He still didn’t like his position, and still didn’t plan on making their arrangement easy on Faramir, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be grateful for the gestures his new master was going out of his way to make. “Yes, you have taken everything away,” he said as he tucked the last book in the crook of his arm and let his gaze meet Faramir’s. “But at least you are not doing your best to make my life miserable, like some of your men in the prisons promised our new masters would do. At least you are not going to keep me forever, so I cannot help thinking that I could be much, much worse off than I am now. So… thank you for that, at least.” He felt again as if he’d lost his footing, thanking the man who had enslaved him, and he tried to backtrack, if only a bit. “I hope you do not think I will ever like being in the position, though, so please do not think that I will suddenly change my mind and do your bidding because I want to.”

The truth did hurt a bit when Haldir agreed so easily with him, but Faramir felt some relief when he said that he wasn’t miserable at least. He was just so beautiful and perfect, with such life and fire in his eyes… when Faramir had first seen him, there was just no way he could have left him to go to some other master. What did that say about him though? He’d always been sympathetic to the slaves, been kind, sided with them on many issues in conferences, but he’d never taken one out of choice… though he could have. He could have done just as a few of his friends had and taken slaves only to release them again with the promise just as he’d given Haldir, if ever captured again they would be released as long as their former master lived. He looked up though when Haldir said ‘do his bidding’. “And what bidding is that? I’ve not asked you to serve me in any way… except allow this,” he said stopping Haldir with his hand on his arm. “Speaking with me… and letting me admire you… and touch you… is my touch so horrible and disgusting to you?”

Wishing he were a credible liar, Haldir sighed and looked down for a moment at the books in his arms. “I wish I could say yes,” he said softly, finally looking up into Faramir’s eyes, “but I am not going to lie to you. I have always thought the touch of a human would make me sick to my stomach, but that does not seem to be happening, at least in your case. But given that I do not really have a choice in the matter, why do you even bother asking? As you said earlier, I am yours, and we agreed that you could touch me whenever you like. And you have only… owned me for a few hours, so I have no idea what your bidding might be tonight or tomorrow. As you said to me earlier tonight, I cannot see the future, so I do not really know.”

Faramir felt relief wash through him that at least he wasn’t forcing even that on Haldir, it would have killed him if Haldir had answered yes, but he would have done his best not to touch him, knowing the Elf was disgusted. He would have simply found a way to enjoy his company somehow without physical touch. “I see… ” Faramir answered softly, realizing that Haldir had no idea if his demeanor with him would change. Likely he’d heard tales from other slaves who’d outlived their masters and were able to return home. Tales of masters who were kind at first to gain the Elf’s trust and then changed. “Then I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see what the future brings,” he said as they began to walk again. Once back at their chamber, Faramir set the books on the now cleared table and looked up at his companion. “If you’d like to read a while or… or sit on the balcony, go right ahead. I am going to bathe.” A part of him really, really wanted to ask Haldir to join him but decided that was a horrible idea at least for this first night.

Haldir was almost disappointed that Faramir didn’t order him to help him bathe, but told himself that was ridiculous. He wasn’t sure where, or how, he was going to fit into Faramir’s life at this point. He could easily have been ordered to do practically anything to or for his master, but yet again, he was being given the freedom to do as he wished. The trouble was, he wasn’t sure what he wished at the moment, and even though it went against everything in him, he thought it might not be so bad if he had been ordered to pleasure Faramir in some way, to at least show him how much he appreciated his kindness. It wasn’t something he would offer, of course, but if he were ordered, he wouldn’t really have a choice, now would he? “I… I think I will wait and start reading tomorrow,” he said carefully. “In the meantime, I will… sit on the balcony I suppose.”

Faramir wondered why Haldir seemed… disappointed? Perhaps he was only tired? So Faramir merely nodded and headed for the bathing chamber. He spent a long time simply sitting in the large tub thinking before he finally came out again, dressed in a blue robe. He stepped onto the balcony behind Haldir and couldn’t help smiling as he looked at the Elf, gazing up at the stars. “It is beginning to get cold,” he said softly, feeling as if he spoke too loudly, the silence of the night may be broken some how.

Having heard Faramir long before he came out onto the balcony, Haldir had simply waited for the Man to join him. He was wondering what the night would bring for them both, and was more than a little anxious to find out. “Aye,” he said softly. “Before too long, it will be too cold even for an Elf to venture out here at night.” He turned and regarded Faramir in silence, his eyes seeing the Man far more clearly than Faramir could see him, despite the stars overhead. He really is handsome. I will not be able to hate him for a year… I can not even manage to hate him for a full day, despite everything. “You are still wet. You will catch a cold if you stay out here… “ His words drifted off, and he thought the he shouldn’t care if Faramir got a cold or not.

Faramir nodded when he said he’d catch a cold if he stayed out on the balcony. “Yes, you’re probably right. I… was just going to bed. I’d… like you to join me,” he said honestly though not meaning it intimately even though he certainly wouldn’t be opposed to it of course.

Haldir licked his lips and nodded, appreciating that Faramir’s words sounded more like a request than an order, though he wouldn’t have argued either way. “All right,” he whispered as he moved closer and nodded as they stepped inside. He took a deep breath, ready for whatever was going to happen next, and feeling the distinct stirring of anticipation in the pit of his stomach “Which side of the bed is yours and… what do you wish for me to wear. Or… not wear?”

Faramir closed the doors behind them and looked up at his companion. “Do you really want my honest opinion?” he asked smiling slightly. “The honorable part of me wants to say whatever you are comfortable in, there are night shirts in the chest there, the less honorable part, wants to say nothing at all,” he said softly, as he reached out and tucked a silken soft lock of hair behind Haldir’s ear. “I think I might have to leave that decision to you because I am not sure I can decide.” He moved away and slipped off his own robe, laying it on a chest at the foot of the bed and slid under the covers, not paying attention if Haldir had watched him or not. Yes, he was curious to know if he had watched him but afraid to know what he would see in those amazing blue eyes. Would it be anger or disgust?

And Faramir had been watched, and watched with anything but anger or disgust. No matter what they did tonight, Haldir did find himself believing that Faramir wouldn’t take him against his will, so he wasn’t as worried about that as another slave with almost any other master might be. But there was still the chance that Faramir’s honor would be the one thing that would free Haldir – Faramir was very open about the fact that he was attracted to Haldir, and if he couldn’t have the one thing that Haldir never planned on giving him leave to take, then maybe he would be frustrated enough to free his slave before the year was up. The mere act of watching Faramir’s robe being removed had half awakened Haldir’s sex, though, and he thought at once that at least with Faramir, he would be allowed to find his own release as well. Most masters refused to allow their slaves that luxury, but Haldir would wager that Faramir wasn’t like that at all. “I am most comfortable with nothing,” he said in a voice that didn’t even sound like his own as he quickly undressed. “So I suppose the less honorable part of you gets its wish.”

Faramir opened his eyes and couldn’t help watching as Haldir undressed. And a part of him wondered if the Elf weren’t teasing him with how slowly he removed his clothes. By the time Haldir joined him in the bed, Faramir was half hard with arousal and had felt somewhat curious as to Haldir’s half aroused state as well. Had he been attracted to Faramir? At least a little bit? He simply lay there though, feeling the heat of the body next to his own and then snuffed out the lamp beside them plunging the room into near darkness. He wanted to touch him so badly he ached and finally rolled to his side, and let his fingers gently trail across Haldir’s chest. “You are very beautiful you know,” he whispered softly.

Haldir’s breath caught in his throat and he bit back a moan as Faramir touched him, just as he had every right to do. He closed his eyes and swallowed as his hands clenched in the sheets beneath him and he felt the flesh between his legs grow just a bit harder. “Thank you,” he whispered, just stopping himself from adding on the word ‘master.’ “At least I am more presentable now than when you first saw me, I hope.”

Feeling the body next to his own react though Faramir was unsure if it was tension or more, he almost stilled his hand. “You were beautiful then too,” Faramir whispered but was afraid to admit all that he’d felt when he first saw Haldir because he wasn’t sure he understood it enough to explain. He moved slightly closer and breathed in Haldir’s scent, the fresh scent of the forest and something more exotic as well. “If you do not want me to touch you tonight, please say and I’ll stop.” Even now, even with their agreement, Faramir would not force his touch on Haldir should the Elf be tired.

“We agreed earlier that I am yours,” Haldir said evenly, truly not wishing for Faramir to stop touching him, but hating to admit it. “As… I said earlier, I… do not find your touch… undesirable, and… you did tell me to expect this.” He was certain Faramir could feel his heart pounding, though there was little he could do about that at the moment, nor about the steadily hardening arousal that was growing thicker with every passing moment. “I… tell me what you wish for me to do, my Lord.”

Faramir leaned closer and brushed his lips gently against the warm skin of Haldir’s neck, just below his ear. “Just enjoy this,” he whispered as his hand traveled lower down the Elf’s chest, then stomach, stopping just above his arousal. He then leaned up slightly, “and kiss me?” he added as his hand moved to wrap around the hard length he found there.

Though he was loathe to admit it, Haldir was enjoying himself already… a great deal. As he’d admitted in the gardens, he wished he could control his feelings and body, but for all his years of experience and wisdom, he couldn’t seem to make his body do as he wished. His fists clenched in the sheets again, and he tried to do only as Faramir asked, to simply kiss him, though his arms seemed to be trying to lift of their own accord, wanting to wrap around him and pull him closer. Moaning softy as his arousal was captured in Faramir’s grip, Haldir lifted his head and told himself that he was only following orders, nothing more, and nothing less. Then, his lips tentatively pressed against his master’s and parted, and his tongue slid forward, teasing at Faramir’s, licking over smooth teeth and into the warm, wet recess of his mouth. He pulled away breathlessly several long moments later and gazed up at darkened blue eyes. “Like… that?”

Faramir could feel Haldir’s body responding against his own, though the Elf was clinging to the sheets, as if afraid to let them go. He didn’t order him not to though, and then suddenly he was being kissed gently and then deeply. Responding to the kiss, Faramir thought about earlier that evening when he’d wondered if Haldir’s kisses would be as sweet as he thought and Gods, it was better than he could have ever imagined. Breathing hard as they parted, he nodded slowly. “Yes,” he whispered. He was already hard and aching, and rocked his hips against Haldir’s hip as his hand continued to stroke him. Their lips met again in a deep kiss and he moaned softly as his arousal moved against warm skin.

It was taking everything in Haldir not to touch Faramir, but the stubborn streak inside him needed to be ordered to do so, at least to touch him in the place he was most likely aching to be touched, anyway. Almost without realizing it, however, one of his hands released the sheets and wrapped around Faramir’s shoulders, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss even more as he thrust up into Faramir’s fist. “Gods,” he breathed when they pulled away for air. “I mean… tell me what you need me to do. I… I cannot seem to think.” It seemed his little plan might be just as difficult for him as he’d hoped it would be for Faramir.

Surprised when Haldir dragged him closer, Faramir moaned into the Elf’s mouth and thrust his hips against him. “Don’t think then,” Faramir breathed, as he slid down the bed, pushing the covers away as he let his lips sink down around the leaking arousal there and moaning as he tasted the warm fluid on the back of his tongue. He swallowed around the thick length, and reached down to stroke himself as he pleasured Haldir with his mouth. He hadn’t planned on this, on wanting him this much, but Gods he did.

Haldir’s hips arched up off the bed as he watched Faramir through half-lidded eyes, knowing that he could easily have been ordered to pleasure him, and almost disappointed once again that he hadn’t. But he was determined to do only what was asked of him, and let his hand fall back to the sheets and tangle amongst their folds, not even allowing himself the luxury of letting his fingertips curl in Faramir’s hair as they were itching to do. Your body is reacting, as is his. He is using you, and you must allow it… you promised to. Even as he tried to reason with himself, he wondered how on all of Arda he could be enjoying this so much when he shouldn’t even be responding at all, let alone getting ready to spill inside his master’s mouth if Faramir didn’t move away. “Faramir, I… I will come if you keep doing that…” The words made his face flush, but he felt he had to warn him. Surely no master, experienced or not, would allow his slave to come first, and inside him on top of that.

Faramir drew away for only a moment, dragging in a deep breath when he did and smiling up at Haldir. “That is the idea,” he whispered before sealing his lips around the pulsing arousal. He continued to use his mouth to pleasure Haldir, knowing that the moment he tasted his ‘lover’ he would lose control himself. Just enjoy this, Haldir. In the back of his mind he supposed it was odd for a master to wish to pleasure his slave but it was what he wanted. Very much so in fact. It was one of the things Faramir found the most pleasure in. He wanted a lover, in particular Haldir, to want him and to enjoy what he did to them.

A low whimper fell from Haldir’s lips as he heard Faramir’s words. It was the last thing he’d expected, though Faramir had kept him off balance for so long, why should this be any different? His hips were thrusting erratically, his cock moving in and out of the delicious heat of the mouth surrounding it and his entire body began to tense in anticipation of his release. He could think of nothing but Faramir’s name, and somehow the litany of the single word managed to go from being only inside of his head to being cried out loudly as he felt his balls draw up and his release fill his master’s mouth again and again. Incredibly, Faramir didn’t pull away, and simply watching him swallow and return for more made Haldir’s orgasm that much more powerful.

Faramir felt heat flash through him as Haldir began to thrust into his mouth, knowing his ‘lover’ was close, and continued his actions, taking him as deep as he possibly could. Then suddenly he felt Haldir’s body tense under his own. When the first hot stream of his release hit the back of his throat, Faramir heard his name cried out loudly and lost control himself. He swallowed over and over again even as his own release spilled over his hand and against Haldir’s thigh. Finally, when he was completely spent, and he felt Haldir’s arousal softening against his tongue, Faramir drew away panting. He picked up the tunic Haldir had been wearing and wiped his own seed from his hand and Haldir’s thigh before moving to collapse next to the Elf. Faramir was breathing heavily but smiled as he pressed a kiss against Haldir’s shoulder. “Thank you,” he whispered softly.

Haldir simply could not have been more confused, though he was now too relaxed to dwell much on that little fact. It almost seemed as if this day hadn’t been real, and he was simply sharing his bed with a lover, not his master, but that, of course, was nonsense. Gods, I thought I would drive him mad, but it seems I am the one losing my mind. “I… did not do anything,” he said, his words seeming to be lost in the darkness. He felt as if he should do… something, but he wasn’t sure what, and now he felt almost guilty. “Why are you thanking me? You could be punishing me for… for what just happened.”

“Punish… I…” Faramir sat up and looked at Haldir for a moment in confusion and shook his head. “No. I did say that I wanted to touch you… and… so I did exactly what I wanted… I wouldn’t punish you for that.” He sat there for a moment and brushed his fingertips against Haldir’s face. “And I thanked you for agreeing to it, I suppose.” He shrugged not really completely understanding what the problem was, he had asked Haldir if it was all right to touch him tonight. Despite it being his right, Faramir wasn’t quite comfortable with the idea of forcing himself on Haldir in any way. “Did… well… you seemed to enjoy it?” he asked worriedly then.

Gazing up at Faramir as a small smile played on his lips, Haldir sighed and released his death grip on the sheets. “I enjoyed it… very much, despite myself,” he laughed softly. “But, Gods, I do not understand you, Faramir. You want me to be myself when we are alone, so… well, it is just that one minute I feel like I should just grit my teeth and accept my position as your slave or companion or… or whatever you want to call me, and the next it… well, it seems like you are worrying more about me than yourself.” He leaned up and placed a kiss on the side of Faramir’s mouth – the first kiss he’d given him freely. “I just do not know where I stand with you, to be honest.”

“I’m sorry… I suppose I’m not exactly accustomed to the whole… ‘master’ thing myself,” he grinned. Faramir was pleased though when Haldir kissed him, almost impulsively it seemed. He smiled then and lay back down beside the Elf. “I don’t care for the word slave really… companion seems to fit better. I… don’t want to treat you as a slave… not as you’d expect I guess. Maybe I’m just a lonely human who wants you close is all,” he said softly.

Haldir lay in stunned silence as Faramir spoke, then lay back on the bed beside him. He started to move closer and rest his head on Faramir’s shoulder, but wasn’t sure if the gesture would be welcomed or not. Instead, he fumbled in the dark for his master’s hand and slipped his fingers underneath the warmth of his palm. “I am right here,” he whispered, “as close as you want me to be. Though calling me your companion means I could leave if I wanted. And since I cannot do that, I guess it does not matter if you call me your slave.”

Faramir was touched when Haldir took his hand and nodded as he continued. He was right of course. Companion was just a nicer term but it did make it seem as if they were equals, and even if in Faramir’s mind they were equals for the most part there were still things that made the balance tip in his favor. He could be as kind as possible to his slave, but it will never change the fact that he was in fact here against his will. Faramir thought about how horribly other slaves were treated though and knew he was giving Haldir a chance to return to his loved ones unharmed and perhaps even not regretting the experience completely. “You’re right… I am kind to you because it pleases me to be kind to you, Haldir. I’m not a cruel man, but… we aren’t on equal footing at all. You don’t want to be here, and… I am selfish to want you with me,” he said softly. He could let Haldir go, there was no law stating he had to stay a year and a day it was just what was commonplace.

“Would you want to be forced to stay away from your family for a year?” Haldir asked. “To have no control over what you do, where you go, to know that cruel or not, your master had the right to punish you at any time, for any transgression?” Before Faramir could answer, Haldir continued. “No, I do not want to be here, but I agreed to, so I will be the best… slave or companion or… whatever… that I can be, and maybe we can both come out of this not hating each other, like so many of our kin do once they are freed. I must confess, if I were to go home right now, it would not be with feelings of hatred towards you. In another situation, or another world, I could see us even being… friends, or… something near to it.”

Again Faramir bit his tongue about punishment because if Haldir did somehow get into an altercation with someone besides himself over the next year it was likely he would have to punish him— publicly at that. It was enough to make his stomach roll a little and he looked down. He sighed softly and nodded. “I’m glad you don’t hate me… at least there is that, and… I think we could have been friends if the world were different,” he whispered knowing how many of his own friends wished the world were in fact different. They’d all talked about it, about how hardly anyone even remembers why Elves and Men were at odds anymore and that they’d be stronger together. In the last ten years or so more and more were talking about another place where Elves and Men lived together. Where someone like the librarian and his wife would be accepted instead of shunned as they were here. He nibbled his bottom lip for a moment and lay back down. A part of him wanted to tell Haldir he could change the contract, that he could release him now, but the selfish part of him wanted him to stay.

Haldir sighed and covered his mouth as he yawned. “I have seen the world change so many times,” he said softly, “and I truly believe it can happen one day.” He released Faramir’s hand, sat up and tugged the covers up over them both, still unsure how Faramir wished for him to sleep. “Do you wish for me to… get you anything or… do anything?” he asked softly, purposefully leaving the question rather open.

Faramir smiled as Haldir questioned him and shook his head. “Sleep,” he whispered. “That’s all you need to do for now.” He closed his own eyes, wondering if he should admit to the Elf that he could release him before the end of the year but every time he thought about it, his chest felt tighter so he pushed the idea away for now.

Laying down beside Faramir, Haldir watched him silently for a few moments, remembering their passion from only moments before and wondering if things would change once they got more accustomed to one another. “Good night, then,” he said softly. “Sleep well, my Lord.”

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