Faramir Fiction Archive

Only if… (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

29 June 2007 | 85653 words

Characters: Haldir/Faramir
Category: FPS AU
Rating: NC-17
Beta: Us.
Feedback: Yes, please to sairalinde@hornofgondor.com or anorien.bean@gmail.com or the form below.
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: This did not happen, no money was made from this story, and we are not in any way implying anything about the characters mentioned within.
Summary: When Faramir has to take a slave in order to save him from the harsher masters, both he and his unwilling slave have a difficult time coming to terms with the situation.

---

Chapter 1

“Captain? I am sorry to interrupt your meeting but the men have taken more prisoners.”

Faramir looked up and nodded to Damrod. “I’ll be down soon.”

It was another hour before Faramir managed to go down to the holding cells where prisoners were kept. Most often the Elves that they captured were sold as slaves, and Faramir often chose which auctions they would go to; laborer, pleasure, or serving slaves were the categories based on the Elf’s demeanor. Of course the pleasure slaves brought the most money, but not all were suited for that.

Elves and Men had disliked each other all these centuries, over the Ring of Power that Isuldur had kept, and had lost. Men knew the Elves had been greatly insulted by his betrayal and the last alliance had ended with bloodshed among the ‘allies’. But all these years later no one seemed to really know why they hated one another, they just did. Prisoners were taken and made into slaves on both sides of the ‘war’, yet they all still battled a common enemy from Mordor. If one thought about it for too long, you’d develop a headache quickly enough. If they would put aside their differences, and their hurt pride then they might defeat Mordor again, but as long as they were on opposite sides, neither had the strength to battle the darkness alone.

When he arrived in the long chamber used for holding cells, Faramir began looking over the prisoners there and pointing out to Damrod which Elves would go to which auction. Then suddenly light golden hair caught his attention mixed in with several darker heads. He paused before the cell and when the golden haired Elf looked up at him, Faramir felt his mouth go dry.

“We thought pleasure slave for that one, but he’s been…difficult. He may end up a laborer I fear,” Damrod explained when he saw which Elf had caught his Captain’s eye.

“He won’t go to auction,” Faramir said not even taking his eyes off the Elf who was glaring spitefully at him. The Elf’s clothes were dirty, his golden hair was beautiful but had snarls of leaves marring the perfection of it. Obviously the Elf had fought hard not to be captured and even now, unlike the others he was looking directly at Faramir, not looking away. Glaring and arrogant…and the most beautiful thing Faramir had ever seen in his life. “Send the golden one to my chambers.”

“But sir…” Damrod began to argue that this one was not ready yet, he had too much fire, but soon relented at the look Faramir gave him. “Very well. We’ll clean him up then.”

“No…send him just as he is,” Faramir said before moving on to the next cell. He wasn’t sure if he’d lost his mind or not, taking a prisoner that hadn’t been properly ‘broken’ as a slave might be the biggest mistake of his life, especially since he had no clue what he was doing. He couldn’t get the thought out of his mind that he didn’t wish to see the spark in those beautiful blue eyes fade though.

It was a few hours later before he’d finished his work and Faramir returned to his chambers and his new…companion.

Haldir sat quietly in Faramir’s chambers, tied to a sturdy wooden chair. He’d struggled uselessly for over an hour, then realized he was simply wasting his energy, and would need to bide his time until his new ‘master’ arrived. Gods, of all the scenarios he could have envisioned, being a slave to a Man of all things, wasn’t one of them. He’d heard the guards call this man who’s chambers he was currently imprisoned in ‘sir’, and figured he was their captain. No matter, he could kill a captain as easily as a guard, and then find a way to escape, hopefully taking several of his Elven companions with him. There were only a limited number of endings his little ‘adventure’ could have, and he was certain his new master was aware of them all. If he raped Haldir, then he would be minus a slave, for Elves faded if they were taken against their will, and there was simply no way Haldir would submit to him. Or he could kill the captain and escape, then bring an army to slowly kill off the men who’d captured them and held them in cages like so many wild animals. Or, and this was the scenario Haldir firmly pushed from his mind as soon as he thought it, he could be held here for years, forced to do the human’s bidding, and never allowed a chance to free himself. As these thoughts were going through his mind, he heard the chamber door open and looked up to see the very man he was planning on killing. “Untie me now, and when I escape, I will make your death quick and relatively painless,” he said before the man could speak or touch him.

Faramir merely stood in the doorway as the Elf spoke. He didn’t say a word himself, simply removed his cloak and laid it neatly over the back of a chair near the door. Ignoring the death threat and the ‘order’ to untie him, Faramir walked over to a small table and poured two glasses of water. “How long has it been since you had something to eat?” he asked as if the Elf had simply asked him how his day was.

Gritting his teeth at his words being so blatantly ignored, Haldir looked at the water and licked his lips despite himself. “What do you care? I am apparently only here for your pleasure, so why should my hunger, or lack thereof, concern you in the least? Or are you simply afraid I will fall into unconsciousness as you are trying to rape me?”

Faramir looked up from the glasses and shook his head. “I do not intend to rape you,” he said as he held up the glass of water. “I also do not wish for you to starve…” he moved a little closer to the Elf and looked at him for a moment. He was so beautiful; Faramir’s fingers itched to touch him, but imagined he would just antagonize the Elf more. “Your life here could be easy if you want it to. You will not be a laborer or a servant if that is not your wish.”

“I do not want a life here!” Haldir’s eyes flashed with annoyance at the human’s arrogance in thinking he would willingly stay here as a slave of any type. He refused to listen to the part of his mind that said the man before him was handsome – startlingly so – and focused on his situation. “Fine. Give me the water then, and tell me why you had me brought here if you do not wish to take me. Or did you just want the pleasure of seeing one of the first-born bound and helpless before you? Do you get pleasure from that?”

Faramir didn’t move away even when the Elf grew angrier. He knew that none of the Elves really wanted to be slaves, just as his own people didn’t wish to be slaves to them either. But he was here, and could find himself with a much more cruel master than Faramir could dream of being. When he was questioned as to why he brought the golden Elf there to his chamber Faramir contemplated on how best to answer him. “To have the opportunity to look at you,” he admitted as he set the glass beside the Elf and knelt down to untie one hand. “And yes…while I do find you beautiful and desirable I will not take anyone who is not willing.” He paused and looked up at him, wondering if releasing just one of the Elf’s hands was a wise thing to do, so instead of untying him completely he lengthened the rope on one wrist to allow him to drink but not easily strike out at Faramir.

Sighing with frustration when the rope on his wrist was only lengthened slightly and not untied, Haldir glared up at Faramir and smirked. “Well, I do not wish to be looked at, and I will never be willing, so there is really no point in my being here, now is there? Did you think I would simply spread my legs for you out of the kindness of my heart, or were you simply planning on leaving me tied up in your rooms day in and day out and looking at me when the mood hit you?” He was confused, knowing that most men bribed their pleasure slaves into giving their permission for sex so they would not fade, or simply raped them and locked them away until they did, essentially, disappear. As he waited for an answer, he brought the glass up to his lips and drank every last drop of water, wondering if he could somehow shatter the glass and use it to stab his new ‘master’ and cut away his bonds. But no, the rope wasn’t long enough, not at all. With a shrug of his shoulders, he looked up at Faramir and threw the glass onto the floor beside him, smiling innocently when it shattered on the cold stone floor.

Faramir simply stood back up as he watched the play of emotions in sparkling blue eyes. The Elf would probably be even more annoyed if he knew how much more Faramir desired him when he was angry. “I did not imagine you’d simply spread your legs for me…but I’m a patient man,” he grinned when the Elf shot him an indignant look. When the glass shattered on the floor, Faramir simply raised an eyebrow and went to the door. He asked his guard to send a servant to clean the glass up and asked that they bring extra towels as well. He turned to look at the golden beauty as he closed the door again. “I cannot keep thinking of you as the ‘golden one’ in my head…so what is your name? Mine is Faramir. I am Captain of the Ithilien Rangers and the youngest son of the Steward of Gondor.”

To say Haldir was surprised at Faramir’s nonchalance at the breaking glass was an understatement, but when he called him ‘golden one’ and said he was the son of the Steward…Haldir was visibly stunned. “So, I suppose that when I kill you and escape, your guards will be especially eager to find me, then, won’t they, if you really are the Steward’s son?” He turned away, shrugging as much as his bonds would allow, hoping Faramir hadn’t seen the look of surprise on his face. “But I see no harm in letting you know my name. It is Haldir. I am a Marchwarden and protector of The Golden Wood, and I can tell you now, my only goal in life is to return to my home and my family, so you really should not get used to seeing me here, especially in your rather cold and rather dreary, unattractive chambers.”

The look of shock on the Elf, Haldir’s, face was interesting to say the least. “I would imagine if you do kill me that you won’t make it out of Gondor and back to your home,” Farmair said calmly, amused that his slave was tied to a chair and threatening him so often. He was careful not to show the amusement and let it be mistaken as if being at Haldir’s expense. It actually was refreshing. “Well, Haldir, my apologies for not having grander chambers, but as long as you are here…they are yours as well,” he said as he heard a knock on the door. He allowed the servant in who set a large stack of white towels on the table and then quickly cleaned up the glass. Faramir had remained silent until after they were finished and thanked them as he let them out. The dark haired Elf had looked up at him then and smiled and he’d smiled back.

It didn’t escape Haldir’s notice that Faramir seemed almost friendly to the Elf who cleaned up the glass, and that the Elf had seemed to show him respect instead of fear. Deciding to change tactics, he forced himself to smile, but knew it didn’t reach his eyes. “Listen, Faramir, you seem like a reasonable, even rational man. If you want my permission to take me, I can assure you that you will never have it. And if you are not a rapist, then we are at an impasse. Why don’t you simply free me, and find yourself someone else to amuse you?”

The smile on the soft looking lips before him didn’t reach the Elf’s eyes but it was still disarming all the same. For a moment Faramir had to actually force himself to even think to process what Haldir was saying. “What would you do? Even if you managed to escape into the city below what will happen if someone else were to capture you? And simply releasing you…I cannot do that without some difficulty. Though perhaps we could come to an agreement?”

Haldir’s eyes narrowed and he had to bite back a derisive snort at the very idea of an agreement with the man who’d taken him prisoner. “I will not get captured again,” he retorted rather loudly as he struggled fruitlessly in his bonds again. “I only got caught this time because one of my captains was injured by your Rangers, so there is no need to worry about me if you were to let me go. Since I seriously doubt that will happen anyway, I suppose I have no other choice than to ask you what kind of agreement you have in mind. So, please, do tell. I am waiting with baited breath.”

Faramir fought a grin as his slave spoke so sarcastically to him. Other masters he knew wouldn’t allow such behavior but he found he liked the way the Elf stood up to him even while tied to a chair. Acting as if he hadn’t been insulted yet again, Faramir walked over to a large desk and picked up a piece of parchment and a quill as he headed back to the table closer to Haldir. “It is a common, though often frowned upon practice, but…if you would promise…in writing that is, that you would stay here as my…companion for the period of one year and one day I will grant your freedom at the end of that time. The agreement would be honored even if you were captured again in the future,” he ignored the indignant snort the Elf made and continued, “The agreement will stay here in my library, and as long as I live, I will honor it. Though of course…you would have to trust that I will hold up my end of the bargain. I can promise you that as long as you are here you will not be harmed unless you do something, which will cause it. You may act how ever you please while inside these chambers,” he said softly but then looked up at Haldir and pinned him with his gaze, “but you will not disrespect me in public. If you’ll agree to that, then you can have your freedom in 366 days.”

Every one of his Elven senses were on alert as Haldir watched Faramir, yet he could detect no hint of true anger or deceit in the captain’s voice or manner. And, as much as Haldir hated to admit it, he knew that truly, he had little chance of escape. If he gave his word to not try and escape, then he could tell by Faramir’s gaze that he knew Haldir would keep it, as the Elves were nothing if not honorable. But men? Men, who could very well be responsible for destroying all of Arda because of their selfishness and need for power as Isildur had so ably demonstrated ~ why should Haldir trust them at all, even this one before him, who seemed calm and even friendly, despite Haldir’s anger? “You will untie me then?” he asked carefully. “And let me have my so-called-freedom inside these chambers?”

“Yes,” Faramir said as he watched Haldir consider the idea. “You will have the freedom to do whatever you wish inside these chambers. You will not need to serve me in any way other than answer when spoken to,” he explained. “You will not want for anything, if there is something you want, books, clothing, anything you require it will be provided. And…” he paused for a moment. “You will share my bed chamber but I will not force you to share your body. I know that Elves fade from that and I will not do that to you. If you agree to it that is fine, but I will look at you and touch you. Otherwise I get little out of this agreement, don’t you agree?”

“Then why are you doing it?” Haldir retorted, still unsure of whether he could trust Faramir or not. It wasn’t as if he had any choice really. If he didn’t agree, he had the distinct impression that he would stay tied up to this chair indefinitely. “Why even offer an agreement when you get so little from it?”

“How do you know I don’t?” Faramir grinned looking up from his writing. He didn’t admit how much pleasure he found in just watching Haldir but he could tell the Elf knew. He looked back down at the parchment. “At any rate, you will benefit from this agreement by not being sent back down to be auctioned with the others. I doubt you’d find another master so…agreeable,” he commented before signing his name to the parchment.

Faramir was no doubt right about him not finding another ‘agreeable’ master, though Haldir detested both those words, especially the second one. A year…that wasn’t so long, no time at all, really, in the life of an Elf. It would mean 366 days of not being exactly free, but it was a means to an end. Besides, he knew well that none of the Gondor ‘slaves’ had been able to escape, and many had died trying. He had his brothers to think of, his Lord and Lady, and they needed him back. It wouldn’t do for him to get killed and leave them all behind. “Fine. For 366 days, I will not try to escape, and I will content myself here in your rooms. I can not say that I want you to touch me or even look at me, but I suppose I have little choice.” He tugged at the rope binding his hand and glared up at Faramir. “Now, untie me so I can sign your ridiculous agreement and hope that you intend to keep your end of the bargain, though honestly, I have my doubts already.”

Eyeing the Elf for a moment, Faramir reached down into his boot and retrieved a knife. “Then hold still, I don’t want to knick you and make poor Elreath come clean up your blood from the floor,” he stood up smoothly, and cut the rope binding one hand and then reached down to cut the other. He let his fingers move over the bare flesh inside Haldir’s wrist for just a moment before slicing through the rope. The flesh was raw from where the Elf had struggled against the bonds, and he slipped the knife back into his boot. He got up and in what might have been the dumbest move of his life, but an attempt to show the Elf trust he turned his back on him and went to the door. He asked the guard to have some salve sent up and returned to the table. “You may read it and make sure that I didn’t deviate from our discussions.”

I could kill him now. I have not signed the agreement yet… Haldir’s fingers clenched into fists as Faramir turned away, but his conscience wouldn’t let him carry through with his rather desperate plan. No. I gave him my word. Besides, he looks rather good from this angle too… Shaking his head and berating himself for even thinking that Faramir had a rather enticing backside, (which he did), Haldir stood and closed the short distance toward the table to read over the agreement, his face flushed with anger both at Faramir and himself. In short order, he signed his name to the thin parchment and then moved back to sit down on the very chair that he’d so recently been tied to. “All right then. So how does Day #1 as your slave end? What am I supposed to do now? And what do I call you inside these chambers… and, for that matter, outside of them?”

Faramir simply watched as Haldir signed the parchment and then returned to the chair. “I cannot predict the future, so in answer to your first question we’ll have to wait and see,” he grinned when Haldir gave him a petulant look and leaned against the table. “As far as supposed to do…I had the towels sent up so you could bathe. Perhaps I should have waited on the agreement until afterwards for that, so you’d have remained tied to that chair a bit longer,” he almost laughed at himself and the idea of bathing the Elf himself while tied to the chair and shrugged. He forged on. “Inside these chambers you may refer to me as Faramir, outside of them or when others are present you will refer to me as Lord Faramir or master though…I prefer the former.”

Haldir’s mood lifted a bit at the thought of a bath, but he tried not to let it show. Despite his earlier thought of one year being but the blink of an eye for an Elf, he had the feeling that the coming months were going to be the exception to the rule. “Fine,” he said, actually having to make an effort to keep the sullen tone in his voice as the idea of being clean again drew closer. He stood, gathered the towels, and shrugged at Faramir. “So, what are you going to do while I bathe? Watch?” A little stab of excitement shot through him as the very unwanted, but nevertheless disturbingly appealing image of Faramir standing wet and naked next to the bath raced through his mind. Do not even think about it, you foolish Elf. You hate him, remember?

Faramir’s eyebrows rose when the Elf asked if he were going to watch. “Oh, I’d prefer not to torture myself that much, though if you need help washing,” he grinned, “I’d be more than happy to help.” Faramir wasn’t in the least bit shy about letting his ‘slave’ know that he desired him. “The bath is through here,” he said leading the Elf to the large room. The tub was large, and was one of the things that Faramir loved most about his chambers besides the many bookcases. He may be on the coolest side of the citadel and away from the more beautiful gardens, but the bath with running water and the fact he was closest to the library were why he liked these chambers best and had not chosen to move even when offered to.

Haldir had the insane urge to invite Faramir along just to see how far he could push him, and get a taste of what the next year would be like, but he decided that some time alone might clear his head and help him figure out how not to plan his escape every moment of every day. He’d made his bed, and now he simply had to lie in it, whether he liked it or not. And he was determined not to like it at all. “I think I can manage on my own,” he said, surprised that Faramir so freely admitted his attraction, but had sworn not to take him against his will. “But thank you for the offer.” He well knew Faramir could watch him, or touch him, as he said was his right, and Haldir could do little about it. A small smile played on his lips. The coming year might not be easy for him, but by the Valar, the days would not be easy for Faramir either, Haldir would see to that, especially if Faramir was as good as his word. He was even a bit startled to find that he was smiling smugly at Faramir, and quickly turned toward the bathing chambers, muttering under his breath about hoping the water was warm, and there was some nice shampoo lying about.

Puzzled by the smug smile on his slave’s lips, Faramir simply watched him step into the bathing chamber and close the door. It was only then that Faramir unclenched his fists at his sides and took a deep breath. He’d wanted to touch the Elf so badly he almost had asked to watch or the very least wash that beautiful golden mane of his. He sighed heavily when he heard a knock at his door and realized the salve he’d asked for earlier had been brought up. When he opened the door Elreath was standing there and he asked the Elleth to please have dinner sent up a little early, that his new charge hadn’t eaten in at least a day. She’d smiled at him and said she would have it sent up later and she handed him several items. “Your…um…”

“His name is Haldir,” Faramir said smiling knowing that she wasn’t comfortable with the term slave.

“He is a warrior…he will want these, I am sure they took his others,” she said handing Faramir the combs that the Elven warriors used to hold their hair back from their faces during battle. They were certainly sharp and could have been used as a weapon, so most definitely Haldir’s would have been taken.

“Thank you…I am half afraid to give them to him,” he grinned, “but I am sure he will appreciate it.”

He returned to the bathing chamber and knocked softly before stepping inside. It was his room after all. “I brought you some things…” his voice trailed off as he looked at Haldir in the tub. Thankfully the water covered him, but Gods…not that much. “I’ll leave them here for you.” He set them on the ledge of the tub and had to resist the urge to reach out and touch and imagined running his lips and tongue down the perfect pale chest glistening with water.

Haldir looked around in surprise as Faramir entered the room, but made no move to cover himself, though he did have to concentrate on keeping his face neutral as the soap burned the raw rope burns on his wrists. He knew his new master wanted him, and he had, after all, agreed that Faramir had every right to look at or touch him. He was shocked, however, to see the golden combs that now rested on the edge of the tub and looked up at Faramir uncertainly. “Warrior combs?” He wondered if Faramir had even really looked at them before offering them so freely. “You…you are going to let me wear them? They are quite sharp, you know.”

It took a moment for Haldir’s words to register through all the thoughts Faramir was having, not the least of which stripping down and sliding into the tub with the Elf. He blinked when he realized Haldir had asked him a question and he looked down at the combs again. “I had told Elreath I was half afraid to give them to you…but…you are a warrior and I know…these are a point of pride for your people. I just…want you to be comfortable, Haldir…as you can be at least,” he said softly. He saw Haldir’s wrist when he looked down again and pursed his lips and slid to his knees beside the tub. “Here you can’t possibly put salve on these yourself,” he said opening the jar of salve and looking up at the curious blue eyes for a moment before taking Haldir’s hand and gently applying the salve to the raw rope burns. “If you hadn’t struggled so much this wouldn’t have happened you know…but I don’t blame you. I would probably have done the same.” He looked up at Haldir and smiled slightly. “Dinner will be up soon.”

Watching Faramir suspiciously even as he applied the salve to his wrists, Haldir was speechless for a moment; both at Faramir’s kindness and the gentle way he was treating him. He knew well that many in his position would have been beaten already, punished, or, at the very least, still tied and starving. Yet, here he was, clean and being treated kindly, with food on the way, a promise of freedom in his future, and a master that hadn’t once lost his temper. “It is not my way to accept losing my freedom,” he said softly, before telling himself that he needn’t explain his actions to Faramir. Yet, still he continued. “I doubt I will ever be comfortable as your…” he swallowed hard before continuing, “…slave, but I agreed to stay here, and I will not go back on my word.” Nodding toward his wrists, he felt the burning ease almost at once. “Thank you, for this. They were starting to hurt.”

Faramir listened silently as Haldir spoke of losing his freedom and had to bite back any response he might have. Haldir’s being here actually went against everything he’d believed in really, yes it was his duty to send the prisoners to the auctions. Yes it was the laws of his father and his country and what was accepted, but he’d never agreed…until today. He couldn’t explain it but the moment he’d seen Haldir he had to have him. He felt a bit like a hypocrite but didn’t share that with the Elf. Instead he looked up and smiled. “You’re welcome. I’ll…let you have some privacy now,” he whispered and reached out to tuck a lock of damp hair behind an elegantly pointed ear. When he finally left the room Faramir felt his heart pounding in his chest, and thought about how hard it was going to be to resist his slave in the coming months. He would not take him against his will, he wouldn’t—but Gods, he did want him.

As the door closed behind Faramir, Haldir reached up and touched the hair that had been tucked so tenderly behind his ear in yet another gesture of kindness that he neither asked for nor expected. He was touched beyond words, and felt his anger draining away at bit as he closed his eyes and lifted his hair out of the tub to trail over the back so it wouldn’t get back into the bathwater. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes and simply relaxed for a moment, wondering what made Faramir so different from all the Men Haldir had known in his lifetime, and wondering even more if he could, if not learn to like his new position, to at least accept it gracefully.

By the time he stepped from the bathtub and dried off, he was feeling much better about the situation. Thinking that he would be ordered to at least touch Faramir and bring him some relief, he found that the idea wasn’t all that unattractive to him after all. He quickly braided the sides of his still-damp hair, clipped the combs into place and hoped that Faramir was truthful when he said Haldir could have clothes. There were none in the bathing chambers now though, so he settled for simply wrapping a towel around his waist and hoping he wouldn’t be forced to eat dinner half naked. It was hard for him to ask, but he forced the words from his lips as he entered the bedchamber. “What would you like me to wear, Lord Faramir?”

Faramir looked up when Haldir entered and swallowed hard as his eyes took in the sight before him. He’d seen him in the bath though not quite as clearly as this. Broad shoulder’s, toned arms, chest and stomach of an archer tapering to a slim waist wrapped in only a towel and down powerful legs used to running in the forest. He unconsciously licked his lips and cleared his throat. “Uh…I have some things you can wear,” he said moving to a wardrobe and withdrawing a deep green tunic and black breeches. “I’ll take you to the market tomorrow to get you more clothing, but these will have to do for now,” he said thankful they were close to the same size.

Haldir nodded his thanks and paused for a moment wondering if he really should antagonize Faramir. Then he remembered – Faramir, despite his kindness, had taken him prisoner. Without a word, he let the towel drop to the floor and reached for the clothes that Faramir was offering. Determined not to let their gazes meet, he took his time dressing, and then finally looked up and smiled innocently at the look on his master’s face. “Is something wrong?” he asked, biting back a smirk. “Are the clothes not to your liking on me now that I have them on?”

Faramir’s mouth went from dry to practically watering, when Haldir without so much as a word of warning, dropped his towel and dressed….slowly. Obviously he’d done it to torture Faramir, knowing that the man desired him, but try as he might, Faramir couldn’t look away or be angry with the Elf. He was simply far too enthralled by the body just a few feet from his own. When Haldir questioned him a slow smile spread across Faramir’s face. “Yes, actually…I much preferred the view without them…but they’ll do,” he said turning and heading to the other room. He saw that in the time they’d been in the bedchamber that food had been brought in and he actually had to keep from throwing himself to his knees and thanking the Valar for something to concentrate on besides Haldir.

Haldir’s stomach growled at the sight and smell of their dinner, and he started to sit down on the opposite end of the table, already forgetting his little game of trying to drive Faramir mad for the moment. Catching himself at the last instant, he wondered if he was expected to sit on the floor, as admittedly, some of his own kin forced their human prisoners admit it, you mean slaves to do, or if he should at least wait for Faramir to eat first. As much as it wounded his pride, he had agreed to be Faramir’s slave, and Haldir never did anything halfway. He would abide by the ‘rules’ as long as Faramir did. Despite the fact that Faramir had told him he could do as he liked inside these chambers, Haldir simply stood beside the table and waited for Faramir to tell him what to do.

Faramir looked up at Haldir for a moment, confused as to why he hadn’t sat down and distinctly certain he’d heard the Elf’s stomach growl in the quiet room. “Is…something amiss? Is there something here you don’t like?” he asked looking at the food on the table. Surely Elreath wouldn’t have sent up food that Haldir wouldn’t like? He stood back up in confusion and just looked at Haldir who was looking at him with confusion as well.

Biting his bottom lip to keep from smiling when he realized Faramir was just as unsure as he was, Haldir shook his head and let his gaze meet Faramir’s. “I was waiting for you to tell me where to sit,” he admitted. “I have never been a….Gods…a slave before, and though I am never going to be pleased about being one, I do plan on doing it with as much dignity as possible. I did not want to overstep my bounds and do something wrong on my first day. Being tied up like an animal was all the punishment I want to have to deal with…today anyway.”

Faramir frowned and looked down for a moment. “I’ve…never had a slave before…so forgive me for not being clear with the rules,” he admitted and decided that Haldir could make of that admission whatever he wanted. He would never punish him, even if he did do something wrong, of that Faramir was certain, but there was no need to admit that too. The fear of the unknown might at keep Haldir at least civil toward him, he thought. “I uh…you may join me, I’m sure you are hungry, and I had intended this meal to be for you. I know it has been at least a day since you’ve eaten,” he said gesturing toward the chair near his own. Normally he would sit across from someone, to talk easily but as Haldir had pointed out he was his slave, and Faramir could choose where he sits. With a start he realized Haldir probably expected to have to watch him eat or worse…like he’d seen with other noble’s and their slaves, Haldir expected to have to sit in the floor. Good manners nearly had him pulling the chair out for Haldir before he caught himself and bit his lip. For Valar’s sake you aren’t COURTING him!

Once again, Faramir caught Haldir off his guard. So he was now a first-time slave to a man who’d never had a slave before? How had he managed that? As directed, he quietly pulled out the chair next to Faramir and sat, relaxing a bit and wondering if he could truly be himself, at least behind these closed doors. He would dearly love to ask why he was Faramir’s first and only slave, but the time didn’t feel right… at least not yet. “I am hungry,” he admitted as he scooted up to the table and eyed the food. He reached out, almost before thinking, and started to pile the plate before him with food. If you’re going to do this, do it right, whether you like it or not. “What would you like?” he asked, setting his plate aside and reaching for Faramir’s. “Meat, fruit, vegetables, or a bit of everything?”

Faramir’s hand reached out and settled over Haldir’s arm feeling the warmth of his skin even through the tunic he’d given him. “Haldir, I explained earlier that you are not a serving…that you aren’t to serve me unless it is your wish to do so. You do not have to do anything you don’t wish remember? Other than speak when spoken to and allow me the…pleasure of your company,” he said softly.

NB: Please do not distribute (by any means, including email) or repost this story (including translations) without the author's prior permission. [ more ]

Enjoyed this story? Then be sure to let the author know by posting a comment at https://www.faramirfiction.com/fiction/only-if. Positive feedback is what keeps authors writing more stories!