Faramir Fiction Archive

Love is... (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

19 November 2009 | 145965 words

Chapter 24

“You said you needed items from your chamber, my lord? Darian is waiting downstairs. I will send him up when I go back down. Is what I brought enough?” Bergan asked, gesturing toward the table with the medical supplies as he looked at how much dried blood covered Rahl’s chest, arm, hip and thigh.
They spent the next few minutes giving Bergan a list of items they would need, and Rahl also thanked him for his service, then told him where to find various valuable items to take for himself and various members of the castle staff. “The castle is full of many riches, and you deserve more than your fair share, Bergan. You have always been loyal, and…” His face flushed and he leaned harder against his lover as the weight of all he’d done seemed to press down on his shoulders. “I am sorry for all the times I read you and punished you for things beyond your control. Now… go, please. I seem to be weaker than I first thought.” That was true enough, but he mainly wanted Bergan to leave before he embarrassed himself further with apologies and regrets over his treatment of the man.

Faramir tightened his grip on his lover and smiled at Bergan. “Thank you again, Bergan for everything you have done for us both,” he said too. He had found himself smiling foolishly when Rahl described exactly where the glass encased rose he’d given him months ago was in his study and Bergan had taken the information with a small grin himself. “Please find Corrine at some point and tell her goodbye for me, tell her if she chooses to stay… I hope this is all right, love, but… the garden and everything in it is hers,” Faramir said softly.

Bergan memorized the information as quickly as he could and found himself stunned when Rahl apologized to him. He had only given him a gift once in all his long years of service and had only ever thanked him a few times. This… this was not anything at all like he expected either. “You cared for me and my family for many years, feeding, clothing and giving us worthy work to do. You may have been a harsh master at times, but we were loyal to you and will always be if you ever return.” With that he turned and unlocked the door to go downstairs again.

Rahl turned and rested against his lover as soon as Bergan left. He’d been thrilled at Faramir’s choice of gifts for Corrine and loved him all the more for thinking of it. He looked around the room and sighed. “I really am tired. That damnable sword cuts with both its blade and magic. As soon as Darian leaves, I need to rest or it’ll take even longer to regain my powers.”

Faramir moved quickly and lifted Rahl into his arms, carrying him back to the sofa where they rested before. “You need rest and healing. I have a feeling that is why Darian is here… I imagine Bergan went to get him to send him here to heal you again,” Faramir grinned at the surprised look on Rahl’s face.

It had never occurred to Rahl that Darian would want to help him again. He’d honestly thought the man was going to ask for something. He relaxed against the couch; still smiling at the way Faramir had lifted him so easily, and closed his eyes. “That would be nice,” he nodded, rubbing at his bottom lip. The cuts on his hip and chest hurt the most, and he was reminded of how so many years ago he’d been forbidden to touch his wounds. His fingers rubbed idly at the pain across his chest and he wrapped his hand around his lover’s. “I cannot believe this is all over,” he sighed. “All the hatred and fear I’ve carried for so long just… they’re just gone. Tonight would have been the night of my death had you not been here. The seeker would have killed me.”

“Perhaps not, if I had not been here you would not have lost your powers to begin with,” Faramir said softly. “Lets not speak of what might have been, it is over and… this is a new beginning for the two of us. You’ll have a new life, a new home, and more love than you can possibly imagine. I plan to spoil you just as you have always spoiled me… will that do for a start at least?” Faramir asked as he squeezed his lover’s hand.

Rahl lifted Faramir’s hand to his lips and kissed the back. “That will do,” he said softly, letting his eyes fall closed again. He was still rubbing at his wound and fighting to stay awake, surprised at just how exhausted he was. Of course, he’d never healed such a grievous injury before, never been so emotionally drained and never fought off someone who wished to kill him with every fiber of his being without the use of his powers. “You have given me so much Faramir. The only thing I have to give to you is myself, but I want it to be in your world, not this one, if you will have me. And I don’t mean give you my heart, since you already have that.”

Faramir looked at his lover for a moment, uncertain about what he meant. He was worried about how tired Rahl seemed and shook his head in confusion. “You know I love you and I want to marry you so yes… I,” he paused a moment and looked at his lover. “Wait… what… what do you mean have you?” He was confused; he had Rahl’s love — that was all he’d ever wanted anyway. He trapped both of Rahl’s hands in his own to keep his lover from reopening his wounds and looked at him worried that his injuries were worse than he first thought.

Blue eyes were revealed again as they slowly opened and regarded Faramir in amusement. Had anyone else held both his hands immobile, he would have panicked, but with Faramir, he simply smiled and didn’t even try to pull away. “All these months, I have taken you in every manner possible. When we start our new life, I would like you to take me, if only once. I have never let another this close to me, and certainly never even considered letting anyone have full control over me in such a way, but… I would like to feel you inside me, Faramir. I would like to give you absolutely every part there is to give of myself.”

Complete shock was probably the only thing that Faramir could register at that moment. “You… but you… but I… truly?” Faramir stammered and looked at his lover. “I… um… well,” he swallowed hard and took a breath. “I’ve never actually… uh… you of course yes but I’ve never actually done that before. I… have always… been the less dominant partner as you can imagine from our time together. Are you sure that you are ready for that? You do not have to you know, I am more than happy with things as they are,” Faramir said softly, honestly surprised that Rahl would even consider offering that.

Rahl nodded at once. “I am happy with the way things are too,” he agreed. “And honestly, I… some of the things I do to you – the clamps and rings and floggers – I don’t want that. I know it’s selfish and wrong and terrible of me, but my father used to hurt me to make me angry and exercise my control over the magic. That is one of the reasons I am so powerful – I have more control than any other wizard in history, so the power builds on itself. I should be grateful to him, but…” He took another deep breath and shook his head. “What I am trying to say is that I do not want to go through that again, but… I do want to know what it’s like to be with you in every way. Perhaps just once, and… hopefully nice and easy as we sometimes do, but yes… I want you to take me.”

Faramir was shaking his head when Rahl explained about how his father hurt him. “Gods, I don’t think I could use those things… I mean, I love them being used on me but I do not have the same confidence with such things as you do,” he said smiling. “But… if you want to know what it is to be together that way for me to claim you as I make love to you, then yes, I believe I’d like that as well. Very much so actually, but… first we have to get you well…” he teased then and leaned down to brush his lips gently against his lover’s.

Returning the sweet kiss, Rahl was about to speak when they heard a knock at the door. He automatically waved a hand in the air to unlock the locks, then frowned in annoyance when he realized he was powerless. “The first step to getting well is letting Darian in, I suppose. Then perhaps we eat and you can lay with me? The rug beneath the window is thick and soft – I have slept on it many times while I’ve been in this room reading late into the night, and Bergan brought several blankets. Should be comfortable enough as long as we lie together.”

Faramir almost laughed, every time they kissed it seemed someone else came to the door. He watched in amusement as his lover tried to unlock them without his magic. “And you thought to give up your magic,” he murmured as he pressed another kiss against his lover’s lips and stood to go to the door. He let Darian in, locking the door behind him and walked with the young wizard over to Rahl.

“My lord,” Darian said politely as he bowed his head. “Bergan said you were hurt in battle… I came hoping I could perhaps speed your healing if not heal you completely as I did last time,” Darian said softly. He felt he owed Rahl for all the training the wizard had given him in recent months, the spell books he had been allowed to read and the use of the Garden of Life for learning even more advanced spells.

Rahl sat up slowly, touched that the healer would want to offer assistance. “Before you exhaust yourself, Darian, I want to thank you for helping me, both now and before, when I nearly died. You are a talented wizard, and had I taken the time to notice that earlier, I could have trained you myself. As it stands, however, I will write out a spell for you. When you leave here, you will be tired, but you must find the strength to do this quickly, before Zeddicus and the others explore the castle. I am not hurt badly, so you should have the power to do as I ask. Just go to your rooms, stand in the middle and cast the spell. Everything you will need to advance your skills are connected by an invisible net – the most powerful books, the means to harness the Garden of Life to its full potential, even my supply of herbs and potions. The spell will give you full control over them all, and no other wizard may use them. I am leaving them all to you. You should learn from Zeddicus, as he is powerful and wise, but I still hate him enough to make him have to find his own library and potions.”

Darian and Faramir both frowned at the thought of the man who hurt Rahl being able to even enter the castle. “Yes, my lord. I… Gods, I have no idea how to thank you other than to offer you healing again. I did not expect… anything in return I only wished to help because you have been good to our family. Had you not taken Bergan as your personal guard I do not know how my life would have turned out,” the young wizard said. “My brother said I must hurry… let me cast the spell and once your body is healed your magic will return faster for you,” Darian said softly.

Faramir nodded in agreement and moved out of the young man’s way so he could do what needed to be done, though still holding his lover’s hand. He watched in fascination as Darian began the chant and saw that this time the connection of his power over Rahl’s body was stronger than before. The blue light was brighter than it had been when he healed Rahl the first two times, obviously because Rahl himself had given Darian small pointers and more advanced spells. Now Rahl was actually reaping the rewards of that generosity.

Rahl watched Darian closely, feeling proud of how much he’d learned is so short a time, and knowing that his instruction and attention had been a part of his education. When Darian finished, Rahl was as good as new, though still physically exhausted. “Thank you. You did very well, and I see you even remembered the trick I taught you to make sure there is no pain with when the deeper wounds are closed. I see such power in you, Darian, much like I had at your age, and you control it well. I think you will be on the wizard’s council one day if you stay on Zeddicus’s good side.” He sat up slowly. “Now… I will write out that spell for you and then you can be on your way.”

Faramir helped Rahl sit up, noticing that his lover was still obviously tired though no longer injured thanks to Darian. He smiled gratefully at the young man as he retrieved a quill and parchment from the desk. He watched in silence as Rahl wrote and smiled when Darian bowed to Rahl and thanked him again. “No, Darian, thank you for coming to help,” Faramir said smiling.

Rahl thanked Darian again as well, asked him to spell the locks closed on the door behind him when he left and advised him to hurry to his rooms and cast the spell even as he hoped Zeddicus saw the magical artifacts he surely coveted disappear before his very eyes. When the young wizard had left, he looked over at the table of food Bergan had left, then back at his lover. “Did you hear Bergan say that he would stay outside this room until we were gone just in case the seeker had a change of heart? All these years and I worried about his loyalties, yet… here he is, when I have no power over him, still trying to keep us safe.”

Faramir laughed softly at Rahl’s question. “Yes, I did hear that and I also heard he and Darian thank you. You know, Corrine is quite a little talker and she has informed me just why Bergan and Darian are both loyal to you,” Faramir said as he moved over to the table and quickly made up two plates of food as he explained that Bergan and Darian’s parents had died when Darian was but a child. By offering Bergan a post as his personal guard, Bergan was able to remain in living quarters close to the castle allowing him to raise his brother rather than having to leave him in an orphanage. Once he had filled the plates and two glasses with some of the juice they both liked, Faramir returned to the sofa. “So you see, they are loyal because you kept them together as a family, you may not have even known you did it, but you did and they are grateful for that,” Faramir said as he handed his lover his glass and plate of food.

His lips twitching and only just managing not to smile, Rahl gave Faramir his most innocent – and seldom used – look, then took a plate and began picking at his food. “Why… I had no idea,” he lied. “I thought he just looked handsome in the captain of the guard’s uniform.”

Faramir looked over his glass at his lover and narrowed his eyes. “Mmm, I see,” Faramir said flatly, “you do know that innocent look does not work well on you, my love. It always gives you away,” he teased. “At any rate… you knew, so why are you surprised they are loyal?” He asked curiously as he settled back and took a bite of cheese.

Nibbing on a piece of fruit, Rahl shrugged and wondered how it was that Faramir had seen him so differently even from the beginning. “My father ruled by enslaving everyone – his guards, the servants, even the stable hands. He had wizard’s webs around every one of them, and at the slightest infraction – from dropping a roll on the floor of the kitchen to allowing a shoe to fall off a horse in the barn, the web would hurt them.” He shifted on the couch and let his leg touch Faramir, shivering as he remembered just how cruel the webs could be. “That way, he didn’t have to watch over them all the time. If they were really bad, he simply gave them to a Mord-Sith for training. They were loyal to him, but only because they had no choice. When he died and I finally healed enough to take his place, I didn’t put the webs back… but neither did I free them, or pay them, or show them many kindnesses. I suppose… I never gave them reason to like me, so I am surprised that they might. I expected them to turn at the first chance they got, so I made sure they feared me. I killed many, many men, Faramir, sometimes just to prove a point. I know I am not like my father, but neither am I this grand wizard Zeddicus either, the one everyone adores.”

“I do not adore him because he hurt a child and did not try to do anything to help you when he did so. I do not find a man like that grand I find them petty,” Faramir said angrily. “Why did he hate you so much to do that? I do not understand, if Richard is your brother why does he like him and hate you. Could he not have done something to help you then? I despise him for that and no one can convince me he is good.” He looked up at his lover. “I also do not blame you for not changing things much from your father’s rule… and frankly they knew his cruelty of the webs, you freed them of those if not freed them completely… perhaps the people were grateful for that small kindness alone?”

“Perhaps,” Rahl said after a moment. “As for Zeddicus, I only remember laying there, screaming from the burns as he inspected my father’s body and ignored me for what seemed like forever. I had not known true hate until that moment. I begged for his help, begged for him to at least ease the pain because I knew he could, but he said I should consider it restitution for all the pain I had yet to cause. He said he knew I would, as I was my father’s son, and then he walked away.” His gaze was affixed to the opposite wall as the images filled his head and he nearly forgot where he was. “That is how I remember it, anyway. The healers said I went a bit mad after it happened though.”

“Of all the ridiculous,” Faramir couldn’t say anything else really, he simply growled and shook his head. “It is a good thing that we are leaving this world because if I ever saw this wizard I would… well I couldn’t fight him… but I’d certainly love to find a way to tell him exactly what I think of him… make him see what a horrible, horrible thing he truly did. Blaming a child for future transgressions that might never even happen. What a load of… .” Faramir finally realized he was ranting and sighed. “I’m sorry, love but Gods no wonder you hate the man. Anyone would in your place!”

It took Rahl a moment to focus back on the present and turn his attention to his lover. “I often wonder if things would have been different had I not been there that day,” he admitted. “If I didn’t hate the man so much, perhaps I would not have done so much to defeat him and destroy all that he had done.” The food forgotten, he rubbed at his chin and lower lip, then shook his head, trying to rid himself of that memory. “But now you know how I already feel about your father. That he would dare hurt you… well, at least you understand why I would like to cast a few dozen spells over him, do you not?”

“Yes, but my father only insults me, he does not beat me or torture me. Sometimes his punishments were harsh, like making me stand for hours on end in one place when I did something he disliked but he is quite mild in comparison to the men you’ve dealt with in your childhood,” Faramir said softly. “Mine is well… Gandalf used to call him a bit of a bully but with no head for a real fight,” Faramir shrugged. “He is a good leader though and I respect him… and I wish I could please him but I have learned long ago that if my name is not Boromir even if I am perfect I will not be perfect enough.” Faramir had at least learned to deal with that part of his life and his strained relationship with his father mostly because of Gandalf. “I suppose if it weren’t for Gandalf I likely might be more bitter about it… I set more store in what he says about me than by what my father says.”

The thought made Rahl smile until a second, darker thought bit at it’s heels. “If Gandalf is as good and wise as you see him, he will likely hate me.” The very idea nearly made him sick to his stomach. “I do not exactly inspire goodness, Faramir, and certainly not everyone sees me the way you do. If he hates me… perhaps I should not go to your world after all… the last thing I would want to do is come between you and this wizard who has treated you so kindly.”

“Do not think that way, Gandalf will not hate you. He is a grumpy old wizard and it might take you a bit to grow accustomed to him but as long as you do not hurt me or use your magic to hurt our side of the war effort, he will like you. He has friends among all the races in Middle Earth and I think you might benefit from meeting him. He can teach you things even I cannot, he knows more about the history of our world than anyone save the Elves,” Faramir said as he took his lover’s hand in his own. “You trust me, do you not? Please, you are a good man, and as long as you stand with our side and not Sauron then you will be accepted.”

Rahl laced their fingers together and rested his head on Faramir’s shoulder. “Just as you have stood with me since the day you got here, with no questions asked, I will be by your side. I will do anything I can to help with your war, even if it means joining with this Gandalf and facing Sauron himself, if you would wish it.”

Faramir shivered when Rahl spoke of facing Sauron himself. “We shall just take it one day at a time when we arrive there. There will be questions where I have been for the last year… questions that I am not really able to answer without revealing too much I think,” Faramir said softly.

“There is a way…” Rahl’s chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, gave Faramir’s hand a quick squeeze and went to the east side of the room. He picked up a long scroll, unrolled it and quickly skimmed over the spells there. “If you want to avoid all questions – well, except one about where and how you managed to find me – I could take us both back to the very night I took you. You would remember everything, and your men would never even know you were gone.”

“But what about you, love?” Faramir asked as he crossed the room to look at the parchments though he only understood one or two of the markings that he’d seen before and Rahl had explained to him. “If I return back to my place in the woods… what about you? And… oh Gods… that first night I arrived here. I smelled of wood smoke because we had a fire. We… in my world, fire is all we have for heat, for cooking and for light. You and Gandalf can create light but… everyone else depends on fire. Will… will that be difficult for you?”

Faramir’s words made Rahl’s back stiffen at once. It felt like someone had kicked him in the stomach – here, he had forbidden the use of fire, but in Faramir’s world, he would have no power to do so. The very thought made him ill. His fingers automatically moved down to rub over his robe where his scars lay and his other hand came up to rub at his bottom lip. “I… no. I cannot…” He looked up, eyes dark in a face paler than even when he had first seen the seeker. For the first time ever, he realized he had someone he could depend on, someone who would lend him his strength. It made him only a little less nervous, but it did help. “As long as you are with me, I will be fine. It might take a while, but… I will manage.”

Faramir moved closer and wrapped his arm around his lover. “I will be with you, and… inside our home, wherever we make it, you can always do as you do here and use your magic for light and warmth… and stay far from the kitchens as you do here,” Faramir explained. “I will do everything I can to make sure you are safe and you are not uncomfortable.” He understood well his lover’s fear and he would not force him to adapt to his world, rather let him become comfortable on his own if he ever did. “When you return with me… I will need a way to explain you to my men… aside from that, I think everything will work out fine for us,” Faramir whispered, pressing his lips to his lover’s temple.

Rahl leaned into his lover and tried not to shiver. He had rather face the seeker a thousand times over than be confronted with fire, yet… if he wanted to be with Faramir, he had no choice. So… there were no second thoughts. He would learn to deal with the first. Faramir’s men, however, were another thing. “You could tell them I am from some far off land, traveling alone because all my men were killed or…” He worried his bottom lip for a moment and smiled in resignation, hating the idea, but knowing it was only fair. “I brought you here as a slave. It would only be fair if you presented me as one. You could say I escaped from my master or you killed him and claimed me. I would play the part with no questions asked.”

Faramir shook his head. “Oh no, love, I am not particularly that headstrong and I did not do well as a slave, you would be horrible at it,” he teased. “Hmm, I found you lost in the woods… that makes sense, our woods can be easy to get lost in and it wouldn’t stir suspicion among my men. When we arrive back, if we go to the same time I left all my men will be asleep save a guard. I can just get up and take a walk in the woods, if you can target the spell enough to put you just outside my camp perimeter?”

“I think I can manage that,” Rahl agreed, still laughing at Faramir’s little jab about his ability to take orders. “But what will your people think? Will they not ask questions about why you are even talking with this stranger from another land… or why he can’t seem to keep his eyes – or his hands – off you?”

Faramir laughed and shrugged. “They may find it strange but I doubt they will question me… or I could just tell them I’d been seeing you in secret,” he teased.

Taking Faramir’s hand, Rahl led him back over to the couch and sat down. “So no one in your world should know I have powers then? If Gandalf is the wizard you sayhe is, he will know – will he keep our secret?”

“I did not say no one need know… I just think it would be best not to flaunt them too much in front of my father. And Gandalf is trustworthy and would understand why my father would be one to avoid magic with,” Faramir explained. “As for others… as long as you use your magic in aid of our cause none should have a problem with that. I just do not want to see you targeted by enemies because of your powers either,” Faramir said softly, squeezing Rahl against his side a little.

Rahl thought for a moment and tangled their fingers. “What would I do in your world? Because I thought that if… oh, never mind. I am a wizard, I will do what wizards do and help you win your war. I have seen enough of the underworld to perhaps surprise this Sauron with some tricks of my own…”

“What is it, love? What would you like to do?” Faramir asked, unsure what Rahl was driving at. His lover seemed to love his magic and to use it often and researched new spells as well, so he had just assumed that was what he would continue to do, even in his world.

Shaking his head, Rahl looked down at their entwined fingers and actually looked embarrassed. “I think it might make up for some of the things I’ve done here – and refused to do – if I were…” He took a deep breath and let his hair fall forward to hide his face, feeling a bit ridiculous. He had been, after all the dark lord of his own world and to make such a drastic change would be laughable to anyone who knew him. Still… no one in this new world would know him. “If I were a healer,” he said softly. “I could perhaps find a way to regain my power more quickly, or sustain it or…”

Faramir was surprised when Rahl looked so embarrassed. He reached out and tipped his lovers chin up to look into his eyes. “You wish to be a healer?” Faramir smiled and nodded. “If that is what you want, love then that is what you can do. You may do whatever it is you want to do. I have no expectations save having you by my side and loving you until my dying breath,” Faramir whispered honestly.

Rahl’s embarrassment faded and his smile spread from ear to ear. He wrapped both arms around his lover’s neck and closed his eyes. “Your dying breath was almost a short while ago,” he shuddered. “I will put protective spells on you again – and on your men and your home if you wish it, but most of all Faramir,” he pulled back and gazed into serious blue eyes before he continued. “You MUST be careful. I just found you, you know, and I don’t want to let go.”

Faramir wrapped his arms around his lover in return and nodded. “I will be very careful, I want us to be together for many years and I hope that those years will be years of peace, not war and darkness,” Faramir whispered. “And, you need to rest if your powers are to return for us to leave this place.” Faramir knew that though Darian had healed Rahl, the wizard was still physically exhausted from his battle and injuries.

Stifling a yawn, Rahl nodded and stood, offering Faramir his hand. They made their way over to the rug he’d spoken of earlier and started to lie down in just his robes. “I suppose no one will come back,” he said, realizing that he’d never really said goodbye to anyone but Bergan and his brother Darian. There really was no one else to say it to, however, except maybe Corrine. “I am tired,” he admitted, slipping out of his robe and folding it over a chair. “And don’t worry… I may sleep for quite some time. My powers were completely drained; more so than they have ever been, but I am hoping a long night’s sleep will rejuvenate them a bit quicker than expected. Just… just stay near? I sleep better when you’re next to me.”

“You know I always snuggle up to you at night, why would this one be any different?” Faramir asked as he began arranging the blankets that Bergan had brought them into pillows and a sort of nest like bed for them on the rug. Faramir removed his robe as well, both his and Rahl’s were covered in bloodstains and he set it aside as he moved to his lover. “Come, love, lay down and I will keep you warm,” he said softly as he drew Rahl over to the blankets.

They lay down together and Rahl automatically put his arms around Faramir, something he’d been doing for months now without even realizing why. The blankets were pulled up around them, and his hands moved over his lover’s back and arm. Tonight he knew he wouldn’t have nightmares, for his worst one had already come true and the reality had been worse than the dream could ever have thought of being. For the first time in his life, he relaxed completely and said the words he’d always wanted to say, but never thought he would have the opportunity to. “Good night, Faramir. I love you.”

Faramir smiled as he settled into his lover’s embrace, his own fingertips tracing over his lover’s skin. “And I love you, goodnight, Darken.” Faramir snuggled closer, closing his eyes and feeling his lover’s heart beating against his hand. Their lives were going to change… but they would be together and were to be married. That thought made Faramir’s smile broader as he started to fall asleep.

Even before Rahl’s eyes closed, he thought he felt his magic trying to come back. Perhaps, he thought as he snuggled against Faramir and tangled their legs, giving everything one had for the sake of the one they love was considered something extraordinary. Either way, he didn’t really care if he had to wait a day or a month. As long as Faramir was alive and well, nothing else mattered. His fingers tingled where they touched his lover’s skin and just as he drifted off, he thought he felt the blankets stir just a bit and pull up to their chins just as he wished them to.

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