Faramir Fiction Archive

Love is... (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

19 November 2009 | 145965 words

Chapter 15

Faramir remained in the tub for a long time, just allowing his aching muscles to relax and the spinning of his head to settle a little. He still wasn’t feeling wonderful by any stretch of the imagination but at least he wasn’t retching every time he blinked. He cleaned himself as best he could, including his mouth with a small glass of water and a brush that Rahl’s magic had left beside the tub.

He spent the time thinking about Rahl, not that he didn’t spend most of his time thinking of the wizard anyway, but this time he thought of how the man had no idea what love was, or how to even accept it. It explained a lot, though it made Faramir very sad. He might be the same way had it not been for Boromir and Gandalf growing up.

What Faramir wanted most was to show Rahl how truly wonderful it could be to be loved and maybe one day, Faramir would be lucky enough for Rahl to love him back. Anything was possible; he was here in a world he should not be, that should be proof enough that the incredible can happen to anyone.

When the water started to grow cold, Faramir decided it was time for him to get out and tried to get up, only to find his head spin horribly. He took a few deep breaths and tried to steady himself to try again, not wanting to begin retching again. Finally, he gave up and called out to Rahl. “My lord? Can… you help me?”

Dark eyes lifted from where they’d been staring at the plate before them and gazed toward the bathroom door. Lord Rahl nearly jumped out of his seat, and even though one part of him reiterated that Faramir was just another slave (though, even that part had to admit he was an exceptional one) and he, Lord Rahl, didn’t ‘jump’ for anyone, he was nevertheless in the next room in record time. He knelt by the tub and frowned at the man before him. “You are still sick. I told you this would last for a few days.”

Faramir looked up at Rahl and gave a weak smile. “Yes, you did…” he murmured. “If… if you could just help me stand I think maybe the dizziness will pass.” He felt ridiculous really, naked and wet and hanging onto the side of the tub like it was a lifeline. His arms and legs felt weak and his stomach was churning again. “I don’t want to get you all wet,” Faramir warned sadly when Rahl reached for him.

“That’s easy enough to take care of,” Rahl confided with a wave of his hand. Before Faramir could protest, Rahl reached into the water and scooped his lover up in his arms. Thanks to the spell he’d just cast, his robes repelled the water and with a few more murmured words, Faramir was dry as well. “You should drink some tea and lie down. You seem better than most of the ones I read already. They can barely talk. Perhaps it isn’t affecting you as badly as most for some reason.” As he spoke, he carried Faramir easily into the bedroom, then gently lay him down on the bed.

Faramir imagined that the reason it hadn’t hurt him as badly as others was because he wanted Rahl to know the truth and hadn’t tried to hide anything from him as he was read. Still, he felt awful. Rahl’s magic was comforting though, the drying spell enveloped him in warmth and the fact that Rahl’s arms were around him, holding him close helped more than he could ever put into words. He rested his cheek against a strong shoulder and sighed. “I think you are right and… I think it didn’t hurt me as badly because I wanted you to see the truth,” Faramir said softly.

“A truth I am still not sure how I feel about,” Rahl said nearly under his breath. He warmed the cup of tea he’d left sitting by the nightstand and caused the pillows behind Faramir to fluff so that he was propped up enough to drink. “What else do you need? I have… I have never taken care of anyone before, so I have no idea what would help.”

Faramir had heard Rahl’s words but didn’t comment on them. “You are doing a wonderful job so far,” Faramir said as he leaned back into the soft pillows and closed his eyes for a moment. He reached for the cup but Rahl handed it to him instead. He smiled in thanks before taking a small sip. “You could sit down beside me,” he suggested. “Just stay close and read and talk to me. My head aches but silence doesn’t seem to help it either so I may as well focus on something else.”

“You want me to stay close…” Rahl’s sigh sounded a bit forced, even to his own ears. He was almost flattered that Faramir wanted him there, but was loathe to admit it. Willing a book and a chair across the room, he sat next to the bed and got lost in thought for a moment as he watched Faramir. “I. Yes. This is a new book, one delivered just today from the booksellers. I will start at the beginning…”

Faramir thought it would have been far nicer if Rahl had joined him on the bed, but this was sweet as well. He reached out and put his hand on Rahl’s knee as he opened the book. “Thank you. I love hearing your voice… so this is perfect,” he said smiling. His head still hurt but with the dim lighting and Rahl’s soft voice reading to him he thought that he would begin to if not feel better at least not feel worse.

Arching an eyebrow at Faramir as he made the effort to reach out and touch him, Rahl stumbled over his words a bit as he began. Before too long, however, he was reading quietly, lost in the book, but still looking up every so often to steal a look at his lover. After reading for over an hour, he paused. “Do you need some more tea, or shall I continue? You look rather… pale.”

Faramir drank his tea as he listened to Rahl’s voice, his fingers moving idly on his lover’s knee as he began to grow interested in the story. He was still feeling horrible though and as time passed it seemed the tea might not have been such a good idea after all. Instead of soothing his stomach, his stomach now had something to rid itself of. When Rahl stopped and asked if he needed more tea, Faramir looked at him sadly. “No, actually, I’m beginning to feel ill again… perhaps tea wasn’t a good idea after all,” he said trying to push back the feeling of queasiness.

Rahl frowned and produced a wet cloth, which he carefully laid over Faramir’s forehead. “I cannot heal you, but I could make you sleep,” he suggested. “I don’t know if it will work, but maybe if you sleep for a long while, you will miss the worst parts?” He shook his head and began worrying his bottom lip and chin again. “Though of course, if you were to be ill in your sleep, you could strangle yourself…” He leaned back in the chair and stared thoughtfully across the room. “Perhaps one of the healers? Since you are sick because of magic, magic cannot cure you, but I’m sure the healer might have something to help. I could always threaten them if they don’t help. That always seems to work best.”

The wet cloth felt good against his clammy skin and Faramir sighed. “I do not fancy a death of strangling on my own fluids,” Faramir said shuddering a bit. Faramir laughed though despite himself when Rahl spoke of threatening a healer. “I doubt a healer can heal this… I suspect it is much like an illness that must run its course,” Faramir said looking up into surprisingly compassionate blue eyes. “I just need you and as much as I hate to ask but some of that absolutely vile concoction you gave me earlier. It did settle my stomach. And if you have anything for head pain.”

The very things he asked for suddenly appeared in Rahl’s hand. The wizard held them out eagerly, uncomfortable with his role as caretaker, but also not enjoying seeing Faramir suffer as he normally did in other situations. Regarding the other man silently for a moment, he cleared his throat and moved closer so Faramir could take his offerings. “This… you needing me. It is part of the whole loving-me thing? You want my company when you feel ill, whereas you would not want someone’s company you did not love?”

Faramir blinked when Rahl’s magic so easily produced the items without either of them having to move. “You know that magic of yours is quite handy,” Faramir teased a little, thinking of the other times it had benefited him in bed or against a wall or… well… any other place Rahl had taken him. When Rahl moved closer, Faramir took the tea for his stomach from him and nodded a little. “Yes. Your presence comforts me; just being in the same room with you makes me feel more relaxed and content. If I am away from you, I worry, especially since you do have enemies set on killing you,” Faramir admitted. “I know I cannot be with you all the time but… it makes the times I am with you feel more special.” He drank down the tea, making a face from the horrible taste but immediately his stomach started to feel better. He followed it with the headache medicine and closed his eyes for a moment, hoping the healing tea would make it possible to keep the other down.

“That makes sense,” Rahl nodded, watching Faramir closely and hoping the medicines would take effect at once. “Corrine, the child from the kitchen, has a cat that she keeps close all the time. I have seen her pet and talk to the creature, so I assume she feels much toward it like you to do me. She likes to be around it for no other reason than she cares for it and it makes her happy. Her reasoning makes a bit more sense now.”

Faramir started to feel marginally better from the medicines and opened his eyes, only to grin at his lover. Yes, Rahl could definitely be likened to a particularly picky cat with his glares and his attitude as well as the sharp claws when angered. He found himself chuckling a little then. “You realize you just compared yourself to a cat… I think it is a fair comparison. Cats are beautiful, smart, and tend to have a bad attitude if their needs are not met,” Faramir grinned at his lover.

After a moment of silence, Rahl actually laughed. “If you think I have a bad attitude now, I pity the day when you see me really angry. I have reigned myself in these last few years – to a degree anyway, when parts of the castle started exploding and a few trees outside my window were reduced to enough toothpicks to satisfy both your world and mine for ever.” He stood, stretched and yawned. “It is getting late. Do you think you can sleep now?”

Faramir laughed too, feeling a bit better just from that alone. “I hope to never see that then, or at least be underneath something very large and heavy to protect me,” he teased. “I am feeling well enough to sleep now. Again that tea works wonder even if it smells and tastes like… well… nothing I’ve ever wanted to taste before,” Faramir said as he moved to slide down under the covers and make room for Rahl. “Will… you let me snuggle close tonight? I… I have missed being close to you these last nights,” Faramir asked hesitantly.

“S… snuggle?” Rahl shook his head at once before crossing to his side of the bed and making the room darker, feeling only slightly guilty as the remembered the last few nights when he’d kept his distance from his lover for what he knew now was no good reason. He sat on the side for a moment, still wearing his robe and turned to look at Faramir curiously. “You may touch me again if you like, and rest close against my back like you normally do if you wish. Is that what you mean? Or did you have something else in mind?”

“No, that is what I wanted, to be able to touch you and be close to you,” Faramir said softly. “I love touching you… it is why I ask if I may have permission so often,” he added as he saw Rahl thinking things over. “You have a very attractive body, I love touching your arms and your chest when I rest against you,” he whispered then, looking up at Rahl. “And I absolutely love it when you touch me too.”

Rahl gave a bitter laugh as Faramir spoke. “A very attractive body, indeed,” he muttered. As usual, he pulled the sheets up over his waist and quickly discarded his robe, careful as he was every night to keep his scars hidden. He lay down on his side and lifted his arm. The thought never even occurred to him to face his lover. “I will do my best to remember you like it when I touch you and when you are good and manage to keep your more opinionated thoughts to yourself, I will touch you now and then.”

Faramir knew better than to address the issue of Rahl’s scars. The wizard didn’t know he’d already seen them, so he remained silent. He scooted closer and wrapped is arm around his lover when he lifted his arm. “Thank you, I will try my best to behave. I sometimes manage to go an entire day without saying something I shouldn’t,” Faramir said softly. His head was still aching a bit so he rested his cheek against the back of Rahl’s neck and sighed softly as he closed his eyes. “Goodnight, my love,” Faramir whispered.

A smile that was starting to get less and less rare on Rahl’s face made his lips twitch again and he tentatively rested his hand over Faramir’s. Other than when he’d been angry, they’d had sex every night, but tonight, he didn’t even give it a second thought, though he knew he could order Faramir to get on his hands and knees and spread his legs. This, however, he thought, was nice too. His anger and subsequent confusion had exhausted him, and as Faramir’s breath ghosted over his neck, he closed his eyes and drifted asleep.

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