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Letters From Faramir (G) Print

Written by Alcardilmë

28 April 2010 | 16713 words

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Letter Five –

They were gone, the two wanderers, and Faramir wondered at his temerity in letting them leave. He shuddered as he remembered where they were off to and silently lifted them to the Valar for protection. There was naught more he could do for them. He had already forfitted his own life by his decision to let them go, against his father’s command. Turning to the familiar to relieve the strain of the last few hours, he reached for the writing paper.

Brother,

Would that I knew what happened in the North Lands! The Halfling was here – in Ithilien, dropped into my hands as if fated thus. ‘For Isildur’s Bane shall waken; And the Halfling forth shall stand.’

And stand he did, Boromir, stood right up to me! Told me you had been his traveling companion. I told him whom you are and that you are sorely missed. And I mean it with all my heart, Boromir; not only I, but also your men sorely miss you.

There were reports of Haradrim using the ancient roads up north and your Rangers and I met them and did what damage we could to their ranks. Fire courses through my veins as I think of them desecrating the very roads that Gondor built. You would do the same, dear Brother. I know your heart.

I had not meant to come so far north, but as I said, it seemed to be fated thus, for that is where we met the Halflings. I left them in the care of two of our men and led the Rangers to battle. It went well, the trap worked. The men did more than they were trained for. You would have been proud. The men of Gondor, the Enemy may say, are weak or frail, but there is courage in this band and honor to be found.

After the battle, I questioned the Halfling and an unreasoning hope flooded my very soul. He said you were alive and well when last he saw you! But a fear had been growing in my heart, a fear of more terrible things for you than death. Some strangeness emanated from the Halfling. But then hope, so quickly kindled, was dashed as he described your raiment – the same raiment I saw the night the elven boat bore you from me. The belt – no other knew of it.

He tried to allay my fears – saying it was mayhap some trick of the Enemy, but I know better. Bitter words were wrung from my lips when I learned of your stop in Lothlorien. What did She say to you? What woke in your heart then? In that furtive and mystical place? I brought them to Henneth Annûn and we talked long into the night, yet I found little comfort speaking with him.

Boromir, Isildur’s Bane drove you mad, did it not? Even though not of the direct bloodline, we still carry that weakness. At least, it seems, you do. Would that I had gone in your stead! This evil does not seem to touch me. I feel nothing but dread of It and hatred. Yes, hatred for what It did to you, what It stole from me. The Halfling has told me some of what occurred and I believe, and it seems he believes, that you were not yourself. The vision in the boat – your face was beautiful and at peace. I know you died well, Brother, if dead you are. I know it with my whole heart. And Boromir – the Halfling does not hold you to blame. There is no hatred in his heart or condemnation. He seems to know what this thing can do.

I sorrow for him, Boromir; he is so small and seems so weak. And the path he has decided upon is so dangerous. Yet, the courage in his heart is stronger than mine. He will die doing this and you would say it is folly, but I know why he has chosen this path. He is valiant, Boromir, and worthy of our love. I will let him go, even though Father will be furious. My very life lies in the balance, but there is something here greater than Gondor. He must be allowed to try to do this.

I gleaned some knowledge during Mithrandir’s visits, enough to know that this thing is evil. It corrupted Isildur and now It has corrupted you. Its power is unimaginable and I cannot wield It. Neither can our father. It must be destroyed. Why this little one should have been chosen is a mystery to me. But as I look upon him, I know he will do everything within his power to do it. I remember your motto ‘Gondor will see it done.’ To think that this little stranger has more ability to do it than you is beyond me.

He put his head between his hands. What will Father say? What will he do? Shivers again assailed his body. Facing Denethor was daunting, yet – facing him as a disobedient son? Another shiver swept over him. After a few moments, he controlled the fear that coursed through his body.

He is gone now. I have let the Halfling go. His companion told me before they left that I have shown my quality. I feel his respect for you, but also his fear of you. Boromir, how can I make them understand! You were the one who raised me after Mother died. Father turned from me and I would have been an orphan if not for you! Do they not understand this – my quality comes from you!

I love you, Brother – you are the world to me, the sun and the moon. But Denethor raised you with harder, harsher standards than you raised me. And your pride was lifted up by our father – and it was good – but it was also too much for one man. Would that I could have helped you see that Father was wrong. Gondor is not a man – not a Steward – but a glorious Entity unto itself. He made you believe you were the only one to save Her, and in your fear and desperation – and pride – you did the unthinkable. You broke your oath. But if not for you, for your love of me and your deep need to make me better than you, I too would have failed. I owe you everything – my love, my life – my honor.

Brother – I await the coming of this Aragorn, whom the Halfling spoke of, and will do as I believe you would have done. I will take him as my liege lord and serve him well, in memory of you, dear Brother. I will pledge my fealty to this Aragorn, King of Gondor, for you, my beloved Brother.

I fear I know your heart too well, Boromir. Did you go to your death believing you had lost all honor, that you had failed Gondor? I know not what happened there, but I know you, Brother. Ever ready to jump into the fray. You must have seen some course laid out before you and judged your way the right way. Or mayhap some madness took you. I know not. But my heart cries out to all the Valar that it had not been so, that in some way you were able to redeem yourself, to go to your grave in peace. It must be so. There is none dearer to me, my beloved Brother. I will it so – that you were given a chance to atone for that moment, that one moment in your whole life where you failed. Somehow I must come to terms with this. I must go on and do my duty and put aside all thought of this.

I have been summoned back to Minas Tirith. I must face Father alone and hide this grief, this fear that shakes me to the core. I will not let him believe you failed. I will not. I trust you escaped in the end. I believe you did.

Ever your devoted Brother,

Faramir

He stood in the very torrents of the falls, the fairest of all the falls of Ithilien, and released his long-held tears. It seemed somehow appropriate to stand there and grieve – where no one could see him – there in the land that held his heart. For my heart is broken now, he thought, and I cannot mend it. Would that healing would come and quickly, but I fear this wound will never heal.

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11 Comment(s)

What an excellent work, Alcardilmë!
Truly I admire your style of writing and wonderful ideas! These feelings, these emotions… They are so deep, so full of hope, of love. Thank you!

— Anastasiya    Wednesday 10 March 2010, 17:30    #

Many thanks for your kind words, Anastasiya. I do so love writing about the brothers.

Alcardilmë    Saturday 13 March 2010, 4:34    #

Wow! The emotions are so raw, they are dripping from the letters, they are dripping from my screen. Loved it! Great work! Thanks!

dream.in.a.jar    Thursday 25 March 2010, 15:06    #

Gosh – most pleased that you like this. I would offer a handkerchief for your screen, if I could. Very grateful for your comments!

Alcardilmë    Sunday 28 March 2010, 4:14    #

Wow. Gorgeously done. Intensely felt and expertly crafted. I love seeing the battle commander Faramir in action. Still thinking and feeling, but never wavering in his leadership and valor. Thank you.

— Vanwa Hravani    Monday 29 March 2010, 13:56    #

You have such a gift for translating emotions into words! This is surely what Faramir was thinking and feeling during those times.

I especially liked the mention of the friends lost in battle. They weren’t nameless, faceless ‘extras’ to the brothers. They were real men with lives and familes, and each would be mourned.

— trixe    Monday 29 March 2010, 22:14    #

My deepest thanks for your intense words, Vanwa Hravani! Never wavering is right. The lieutenant will indeed grow into the fine captain that we all know and love. But I cannot take credit; I only write what Faramir tells me to. :D

Alcardilmë    Sunday 4 April 2010, 4:42    #

Dear trixie, it is an honor to receive such a note of encouragement from an author whom I value! As for Faramir, I can see him caring for his men. Not as chattle, but as important parts of his life. Mourning lost friends must have occurred on a daily basis… the life of a soldier of Gondor was not a safe life. Again, many thanks for your gift of comment!

Alcardilmë    Sunday 4 April 2010, 4:51    #

I have just read all of the letters in one sitting, so to say. I am still crying so much that I almostfeel that my heart will tear apart. I am in a hospital and a dear friend of mine just passed away. we both have cancer, but mine is treatable, his wasn’t. I sat next to him this sunday and we spoke of all the things we would do when we got out of here. he took care of me, when I was sick from the chemo he helped me, he encourage me to stay strong and he was always there for me. When my boyfriend broke up with me because I was to sick for him to be with me he comforted me. He was like a nother big brother, one who could understand. his family visited me as much as they visited him, my own parents have never come. He died the same night and I never got to tell him how much I loved him. I feel like I am all alone now, even though some of my friends come I feel like I don’t have the strength to fight anymore. Why couldn’t I have died instead of him? Your letters has inspired me to start writing to him. I will never forget him and I wont let him be.
Tank you for this

— Ingrid    Wednesday 28 April 2010, 16:30    #

Ingrid – my heart goes out to you. I’m glad the Letters gave you inspiration. Writing is an incredible gift… I truly know what you decide to write will help heal. As for me, the Letters definitely helped me. Some folks say that feedback really isn’t necessary for a dedicated writer, but I put things that are a part of me into my writing. When folks respond, I feel more human. I feel connected to humanity. If that makes any sense. Thank you for your comments, but especially for your courage. Blessings!

Alcardilmë    Saturday 1 May 2010, 4:23    #

I am in tears. You have managed to put into words the feelings of all who have lost a loved one. I’m certain that I won’t be the only one of your readers to write to a departed relative, friend or lover. I thank you for showing me another path to healing a long held grief. Bless you!

— Dancingkatz    Sunday 8 July 2012, 4:30    #

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