Faramir Fiction Archive

I can only obey the laws of Gondor (Letter #4) (G)

13 March 2009 | 3269 words

Title: I can only obey the laws of Gondor (Letter #4)
Rating: G
Fandom: LOTR
Word count: 3144
Character: Haldir, Faramir, Rúmil, Orophin, Denethor, Boromir
Beta: The smoochable and ever so talented minxkat who truly makes the best suggestions. Trust me, you’re lucky I have her. :)

Author’s Notes:
1. Written for 10_letters Prompt: #10 – Family
2. No money was made from this. All characters belong to JRR Tolkien and his estate.
3. SUMMARY: Haldir and Faramir grow closer. For a while, anyway.
4. Totally AU – follows neither bookverse nor movieverse.

Letter #1
Letter #2
Letter #3

Dear Rúmil and Orophin,

I have both good news and bad. No, not bad, terrible news, devastating, to be honest.

My heart is heavy, yet since I have nothing but time, I will tell you everything.

The good news first.

When I last wrote, I had sequestered myself in my rooms, determined to stay out of Faramir’s way and give him time to clear his head. I busied myself by remembering his touch, when I lay on the cot in the cell. He stopped me from harming myself after I had unknowingly pinched at my broken ribs. I remembered his words – “You are so lovely, Haldir. I find it hard to believe that one so beautiful could be as deceitful as I have made you out to be,” and replayed them in my mind again and again.

And I waited.

The days and nights began to run together, but I did not venture from my rooms. Denethor stopped by to visit me several times and advised me to be patient, while the servants brought me three meals a day and even a snack at night time, when they could see by the candles glowing in my chambers as they walked down the hallway, that I slept very little. Each time, they would wish me luck and tell me they thought I would be good for Faramir, and that, more than anyone else, he deserved a mate with such unwavering devotion as I had showed thus far.

Denethor, kind man and proud father that he is, encouraged me not to give up. His youngest son, he said, was stubborn, and liked to take his own path.

Faramir, for reasons Denethor could not even begin to understand, never felt that he lived up to his older brother, Boromir (who had been away on a very long patrol, and whom, at that time, I had not yet had the pleasure of meeting). Denethor even shared with me that Faramir had confided in him that he felt certain my infatuation would pass.

When I assured Lord Denethor that I had well and truly fallen for his beautiful and gentle son, he saw that my intentions were honorable, and said that he had no doubt that my love for him was real.

He made sure to have the cooks make all my favorite foods and drinks, and supplied me with plenty of books and puzzles to pass the time; occasionally even stopping by to play a game of chess or invite me to the main hall for dinner. No, I told him, I would not force myself up on Faramir – I would stay away from him until he gave me permission to do otherwise.

And so, this was my life for many days. Contrary to what you may think, I did not feel I was a prisoner; instead, I was content to know that Faramir was nearby and was thinking about me. After all the ways I had offended him, in my clumsy efforts to win him over, it was more than I could reasonably hope for.

Then, four nights ago, Veritan, the servant who normally brings me my evening meal, knocked again long after he had delivered my supper. He offered a small bowl of fruits and cheeses and he wore a smile that was much unlike his usual good natured grin. We exchanged greetings as we normally did, and talked for a moment about the weather and the latest goings on in Gondor. Veritan is a good man, and I have enjoyed talking to him since my first days here, and I could not help but notice that he looked about to burst with a secret. But, I could tell from the mischievous gleam in his eyes that he was going me make me ask about it before he would let me in on what was making him so happy. He laughed softly and said he had no idea what I was referring to, but I persisted, and he could not keep his secret for long.

Finally, he handed me a small bit of parchment, wished me luck and left, closing my chamber doors behind him.

The parchment read:

Haldir,

I will be dining alone in the east gardens tomorrow night at sunset.

Would you wish to join me?

Faramir

I could not believe it. Faramir wished for my company that evening!!! I think I have never felt as happy as I did then except perhaps at the moment when I first saw Faramir riding so splendidly back into the city from his patrol – that moment when I truly fell in love with him.

As Veritan had not waited for an answer, I assumed that he knew what my answer would be, (for by this time, I considered him a friend, and he had gently teased me about my infatuation). Faramir, I concluded, either knew I would be there, or did not care either way.

The next day, I spent hours getting ready. Veritan stopped by to deliver the morning meal and took my best clothes with him to be cleaned. He came again at lunch, and stayed to help me comb out my hair after its third washing of the day and laughed when I was so distracted that I ended up with my undertunic on backwards.

Nevertheless I was ready long before the sun was due to set, and was making my way down the hallway nearly an hour before meal time. I was anxious to get there, and cared not that I might seem overeager – for when the other part of your heart awaits you just around the corner, how can you not wish to hurry to it and put it safely away where it belongs?

To my surprise, Faramir was already there, pacing back and forth beneath the trees, muttering softly to himself.

When he saw me, he halted in his tracks and looked at me uncertainly.

“Haldir.”

Gods, his voice was like the music of the Valar! So soft and sweet and the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. “Good evening, Faramir,” I said, bowing slightly.

“I… wondered if you would come. I have not seen you in many days, not even on your balcony. I thought you might have left for Lothlorien.”

I leaned against the nearest wall, both so as not to crowd him and to steady myself, as being close to him makes my knees week and my heart beat faster.

“There are only two reasons I would leave Gondor,” I said softly. “If you were to ask me to… or if you were to go with me.”

I thought I saw him smile before he turned away.

“Ah.” With that, he sat down on the nearest bench and looked up at me through those long eyelashes that lower when he is shy or nervous.

When I made no move to sit with him, he gestured toward the other end of the bench and shrugged. “You… you may sit if you wish.”

I wasted no time in doing just that. There was a soft breeze blowing just behind him, and I was content to simply breathe in his presence as the cool air brushed so delicately over his skin and carried his scent to me.

“You… look at me often,” he said after a long while.

“Aye. You are beautiful.”

He blushed so charmingly, it took every bit of will power I had to not reach out and touch his lightly stained cheek.

“So… truly, you are not mated?” He would not look at me as he spoke; instead he found something over my shoulder to affix his gaze upon.

“No. I officially have not mated, yet I have given my heart to the one I love already,” I explained.

He looked up at me, surprise written all over his face, and I suppose he saw the adoration in my eyes, for he quickly looked away.

“I… am sorry about the things I said before. I honestly thought you and the Elf you were dancing with that night…”

“I am only glad you were watching.” I could only be truthful to him, though I knew it would embarrass him more.

“I was not watching,” he said, shaking his head, but then our eyes met and the corners of his mouth twitched. “Well, perhaps I was watching… a little.”

I laughed softly, then after a while, so did he. It was the perfect moment, the moment songs are written about and poems describe.

It did not last for long, however. It was at that moment, that a tall, well built man with long dark hair and sparkling green eyes came into the garden. I disliked him at once.

I glanced at him for only a moment, then back at Faramir, for I cannot bear to look away from him for long.

Faramir’s dear face was happy – dare I say glowing – for a moment, and then his beautiful blue eyes turned dark and worried. He sighed, but quickly stood and went to embrace the other man, leaving me alone on the bench. I would have been consumed with jealousy had I not heard Faramir, just before he wrapped his arms around the other man, call him Boromir.

I stood, ready to meet the brother of my future mate, but Faramir pulled him aside and forced him to turn away from me.

“Boromir,” my beloved whispered, “I am glad you are back, but… please? Can we talk later tonight? I am in the middle of…”

“Who is that?”

Boromir was trying to turn in my direction, but Faramir refused to let him. Neither realized I could hear them perfectly well, despite the fact that they were both whispering.

“He is… a friend. An Elf,” Faramir said slowly. “And he… he says he loves me.”

Boromir’s large hand pounded on Faramir’s back and he laughed. “Then I must meet him!”

“Boromir. Please.” Faramir sounded so helpless and forlorn, I stood and started to go to him. “Not him, I beg of you. If he sees you…”

He stopped abruptly as I neared and he looked down at the soft grass beneath our feet. With a sigh, he forced a smile to his face and introduced us. “Haldir, this is my brother, Boromir. Boromir… Haldir.”

Boromir smiled brightly at me and nodded. “A handsome Elf too, he is,” he said as if I were not even there. My distaste for the man grew tenfold as his eyes looked me over from head to toe.

Faramir flushed again (and of course, I was completely charmed once more!) and hugged himself, looking almost… defensive, though I could not understand why.

We made small talk for a while – or, rather, Boromir and I did. I found him to be arrogant and brash, but I tried to be friendly for my beloved’s sake. He was, after all, soon to be my family. Faramir, however, was mostly silent, and I felt as if all the progress we had made earlier had vanished into thin air with the arrival of his brother.

Finally, three servants came to deliver our meal. Veritan was one of them, and I noticed his tray held a small vase with roses and a small dish of sweets that looked freshly made.

As I had scarcely taken my eyes off Faramir even while I talked to his brother, I felt Boromir must have finally understood my intent. He stood, bade us to enjoy our dinner and excused himself.

Faramir simply sat down at the small table in the corner of the garden and toyed with a slice of melon he plucked from the bowl.

“He is not mated,” Faramir said, as if he was explaining everything to the melon. “And he liked you. I could tell by the way he kept staring at you.”

I stared at him, wondering why he thought Boromir’s love life would be of any concern to me. When he did not continue, I sat down as well and managed a rather confused, “Oh.”

“You may leave if you wish,” my dear Faramir whispered in a voice that said he did not care whether I left or stayed. I would have believed it, had I not seen him swallow hard, as though other words were caught in his throat. “You… if you wish to pursue him, I am sure he would be interested.”

I was thoroughly bewildered. The love of my life was sitting there, not looking at me, asking me to go after another?

“I have no wish to pursue him,” I explained.

“You certainly came over to us quickly enough when you saw him.” Faramir’s voice was stronger now, and he almost sounded angry.

“I came over to you, Faramir. You sounded… sad.”

“The two of you could not take your eyes off each other!” His voice rose a bit and I was afraid this encounter would end like all the rest – badly.

“Faramir.”

His eyes were dark when they rose to meet mine.

“When did you see me looking at him?”

My beloved started to speak, stopped, then started again. “Well, he was staring at you,” he conceded.

“I did not notice. I could not look away from you long enough.”

Faramir stared at me for a long, long time. I happily stared right back, drinking in every emotion that passed behind his eyes, my fingers twitching to brush back every hair that the breeze blew across his lovely pale skin.

“No one would want me over him,” he finally whispered. “All my life, when I would think I had someone who cared for me, they would look at my brother, and see that I could not compare to him. You had to have seen that as well. It is how things have always been.”

“That, my love,” I said softly as I rose and knelt on my knees beside his chair, “is because all the others could see in your eyes that you were waiting.”

“Waiting?” He looked at me doubtfully. “Waiting for what?”

“For me,” I said simply.

This time, he looked confused.

“You could not give your heart to any of them,” I went on, “because you were saving it for me.”

I think he heard the conviction in my voice as I spoke. Slowly, he lifted his hand and let his fingers comb through my hair. My heart pounded and a tingle raced up my spine, for he was touching me of his own will, so gently, so carefully… He was touching me as a man would touch his lover, and that, my dear brothers, was the touch I had longed for since the day I first saw him.

“You sound very… sure.”

“I am.”

His hand was shaking now, but he let the tips of his fingers trace lightly along my jawline and I simply could not keep from shivering.

“You are certain you do not want my brother? He is…”

I interrupted him then. “He is not the man who holds my heart, who has held it from the very moment I saw him. He is not love of my life, nor the man who makes it difficult for me to think when he is around, nor is he the one who makes me, a Captain of the Marchwardens, and the fiercest warrior of Lothlorien, weak in the knees.” I lifted my hand to cup his own and pressed his palm against my face. “In short, he is not you.”

I could see Faramir slowly but surely letting down his guard. He saw the truth in my eyes, I think, because then, he gave me a tentative smile and leaned forward.

My heart sped up and I could feel my faer attempting to reach out to him, a feeling that was both expected and startling at the same time. Our lips touched and I was almost afraid to breathe.

“Faramir! No!”

Denethor’s frantic voice startled us both. We both stood, and I found myself wrapping my arms around Faramir on instinct alone. Faramir looked wearily at his father, and leaned into my touch, fitting as if he were made specifically to fit into my embrace. I knew something bad was about to happen, and I would have given anything – anything to stop it. I wanted to protect my sweet, innocent Ranger from everything and everyone who might cause him to look so forlorn, and in that moment, I did not care that my former ally, Denethor, was the culprit. I wanted him to leave, to turn and forget whatever he had been about to say, to simply let Faramir and I continue tending to our budding romance.

“I am sorry,” Denethor managed, desperately trying to catch his breath. “But you cannot be with this Elf.” He looked at me sadly and I could see that he had been crying. “This is not my decision, Haldir. I… I can only obey the laws of Gondor.”

“Father, what has happened?” Faramir looked as anxious as I felt.

“It is your brother,” the steward said softly. “He wants Haldir, and as the eldest son, it is his right.”

To say I was furious would be an understatement. I glared at the steward and kept one arm around a visibly shaken Faramir.

“I do not want him. I will not be with him.”

Denethor looked devastated. “Then you will have to leave Minas Tirith, and if you are found within twenty leagues of her borders, you will be killed. You have two days to make your decision.”

With that, Denethor walked away and six guards approached. Though we both struggled, they roughly pulled Faramir from my arms. I took note of each guard’s face, for if I found a single bruise on my beloved’s skin, I swore to myself I would make them pay tenfold. I stopped struggling only so Faramir would do the same, for I could see they were starting to hurt him. The guards – ones I had exchanged kind words with only the day before – now ‘escorted’ me to my chambers, unwilling to even look me in the eye. I heard them lock the door behind them.

They have allowed me to write this letter, and though I hesitated, I decided it would be best, in case I do not return to you, that you know what happened to me.

I still dream of returning to you with my beloved Faramir at my side – I dream of that every day. His brother will not touch me, even if it means I will be beaten or killed. I could not live with the memory of Faramir’s cheerless voice and his lovely, sad eyes as he wondered how I could possibly prefer him over his sibling. Better my life ends here, like this, so he will know I did not – and will not make that choice.

Either way, I love you both.

Haldir

On to Letter 5

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