Faramir Fiction Archive

He couldn't tell him (G)

Written by Gemenice

10 August 2009 | 1531 words

Title: He couldn’t tell him
Author: Gemenice
Pairing: Boromir/Faramir (one-sided (so far))
Disclaimer: I don’t own LOTR characters, merely borrowed them to torture them with my presence.
A/N: okay, another wierr story of mine(guess I shouldn’t stay sitting around thinking in my room, ‘cause this is how it ends). It’s a pre-war thing, and I meant it when I said weird.
Thanks to Anastasiya for making me think. Enjoy!

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The rider smiled as he noticed the White town in front of him. No one expected him or any of his soldiers to return so soon, but he wanted to return as soon as possible, wanted to see he surprise exchanged by happiness on his beloved’s face – and if they had to ride harder, it didn’t matter. As his eyes scanned the town in front of him he quietly wondered where to go first… He knew he should probably go to the Steward and give him his report on how the borders of Gondor were holding out, but… There was the possibility of him finding out that he was in town and he didn’t want to be curtailed of the sight of his reaction.

He stood there for a moment longer, waiting for his companions to catch up with him, before prodding his horse into a mad dash, the decision already in his mind as Boromir smiled. His father will have to wait… First, he wanted to see Faramir.

He could imagine his brother’s face, the little sputtering until Faramir understood and then the hug that surely awaited him and Boromir forced his horse to run faster, absently noticing that he’ll have to let it rest for a long time, because it surely deserved it – as Boromir crossed the gates of Minas Tirith with only a glance towards the guards. He knew they noticed him and mentally congratulated them on not stopping him as he pulled the hood of his cloak over his face. Now, where was his brother supposed to be at a time like that? Probably rewriting some records, Boromir smiled, jumping down from the tired animal and making his way up the stairs and into the Library of town’s archives.

It took only a moment for him to catch librarian’s eyes and the old man smiled before motioning to the back of the dark room, where Boromir noticed a little light. Slowly and quietly he made his way over to a hunched figure which eyes were focused on something he was reading – some Elvish stories probably, Boromir’s mind mocked as he really didn’t understand his brother’s obsession with Elves, but he was thankful for it, because re stories were one of few things that were able to make Faramir’s eyes shine with a light that made Boromir’s heart jump.

He cleared his throat quietly, before grinning.

“I had the feeling you were supposed to write records – not read of Elvish maidens in distress.” His grin widened when he saw his brother jump up, turn around and saw how his eyes widened in shock when Boromir pulled the hood down from his face.

And it was exactly how Boromir imagined it – Faramir’s beautiful eyes disappearing behind his eyelids a few times, soft lips parted as he tried to grasp for words that seemed unable to form in his mind… And then a big smile web Faramir allowed himself to believe that really, his brother was there with him.

“Boromir!” A soft voice accompanied the smile as his brother stepped closer to him, his smaller frame almost meling in Boromir’s arms as his arms encircled him.

“Missed me so much, little one?” He asked slowly as his chin rested on Faramir’s soft hair, his eyes falling closed as his hand traced lazy circles on his brother’s back. It were moments like this that Boromir longed for, that made his heart beat faster as well as it were moments like this that made Boromir scared and not sure of anything, when he feared his brother finding out about the biggest secret of his life. Moments like this… When he damned their blood bond because he couldn’t tell him.

“Of course I did.” The soft voice muttered, before the warm body pulled away, eyes shining as they met Boromir’s, only to be quickly exchanged by worry. “Are you hurt?”

Boromir chuckled quietly as his brother asked him that. Of course he should’ve thought about that, that Faramir will be so worried that first thing on his mind would be injury as the reason for his early arrival. And he chuckled again as he shook his head.

“Nay… I just wanted to see you sooner.”

There was a sincere smile on the other’s face at that for a moment, but it quickly disappeared as Faramir’s eyes glanced away.

“Father won’t be happy.” The younger man muttered and Boromir had to bit his lip at the sad expression, because he knew, HE was he cause of it… Not that he’ll ever tell his brother that.

And he frowned as he pulled Faramir into his arms again.

“Father won’t mind.” He whispered even though he knew it wanst the truth… His father WILL mind and Faramir will be the one hurt by it. Again. Because of Boromir’s own stupidity.

“You know, he is right,” a soft voice whispered, “you had more important things to do… You shouldn’t waste your time with some like me.” Tjw voice continued and Boromir hated himself for his own actions that ended this way. He felt the guilt building up in him once again when he saw the submissive creature HE made of Faramir and he hugged him tighter.

“DON’T quote our father in my presence. You are the most important thing in whole Gondor, whole Middle Earth.” He whispered and swallowed around the lump in his throat. This was his doing… He knew it but… He didn’t want for it to end this way when he went to his father that time… He still remembered their conversation when their father wanted to sent Faramir as a ranger out, how Boromir convinced their father not to, because Faramir won’t be able to fulfil his task, because he wasn’t yet prepared enough. He remembered how he ruined Faramir’s every request of being sent to the soldiers and how he involuntarily set the seed of doubt in Denethor’s mind those years ago. He saw how their father thought of Faramir as lesser one because of him, but as long as it kept Faramir from the closeness of Minas Morgul, Sauron and Orcs, as long as it kept Faramir safe… Boromir pretended not to notice. Even though his heart was clenching at the sad looks, at the lack of fight in his brother’s eyes these last years, his hear clenched as he watched his brother loose the self-confidence, as [hecwarched ??- eds] as Faramir HIMSELF began to think of himself as someone less, someone unworthy. He saw what he made of his brother, but he couldn’t tell him.

“…Yesterday I asked him to allow me to join the rangers again.” Faramir whispered and he didn’t need to say anything more. They both knew what their father’s answer was. And Boromir sighed, before pulling away and kissing his brother’s forehead lovingly. His insides were shaking with- he really didn’t know what. He felt feel, guilt, desperation… But also protectiveness and love, everything building up inside him as his hand slowly caressed his brother’s cheek and he breathed in. He didn’t want to let Framir go… But… If he didn’t want to make even more damage to his brother he had to.

“Father merely worries of you.” Boromir whispered, looking into face of his brother, a face he dreamed about at night and day…. A face he hoped won’t be scarred be his decision. “As do I… I love you, Faramir.” he whispered, kissing Faramir’s forehead again, hating himself for behaving like a coward, for being only able to tell him like that, behind the covers of brotherly love… But the fear of losing what he had of Faramir was too much.

If the press of his lips on Faramir’s skin lingered a moment longer than it should, Faramir didn’t seem to notice as he glanced up at his brother with the admiration in his eyes and smile on his lips.

“I love you too.” Boromir’s heart clenched once again at the innocent words that meant so much for him and he grinned, pulling away.

“Now, I have some reports to give to the Lord Steward and I believe you have records to write, I’ll see you later.” he turned and walked out of the library, aware of wondering eyes of his younger brother on his back, but he didn’t turn, he walked swiftly up to the palace’s hall where their father was already waiting for him, but before he could speak Boromir frowned. He couldn’t tell his brother of the love his heart held as well as the guilt, and even though his protectiveness stood against his last decision of his love and guilt, he couldn’t stop the words from leaving his mouth.

“Make Faramir a Captain of Gondor.”

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