Faramir Fiction Archive

Half-Hearted Holiday (NC-17)

Written by Laurëlóte

29 September 2006 | 19511 words

Chapter 8

Dawn arrived too early for both men. They knew that they would have to talk before they returned to Minas Tirith the next day, but neither of them particularly wanted to bring up the subject of the kiss, each worried about how the other would react.

They broke their fasts in near silence, participating in small talk only when directly spoken to by one of the rangers and all too soon they were ready to set off back to the scout post.

Faramir could not help but notice how drained Éomer looked; the sparkle had gone out of his eyes and his hair did not seem to have its usual golden shine. He had obviously had an uncomfortable and restless night, and Faramir could not help but feel guilty about the fact, knowing that he was almost certainly the cause of the younger man’s state.

The Rohirrim had felt terrible, and after Mablung had shown him back to the main hall the night before, he had consumed even more ale in an attempt to forget his rejection. Despite the alcohol, he had found it impossible to sleep and so instead he continuously played over the events in his head. He ended up being so confused that he no longer knew what to think, say, or do in an attempt to put the situation right.

He felt that he should apologise for his actions but he did not regret them for a moment. He did not wish to say sorry for the most perfect kiss he had ever had.

Faramir also had slept little, choosing instead to spend most of the night outside, wandering around the nearby woodland. It was something he had always done when his mind was troubled. Normally it helped him to reach conclusions to his problems, but this time it seemed as though he would reach just one answer, when several more concerns would start to plague him.

Neither man spoke as they walked towards the scout post, and the tension between them was building. Faramir walked in front, never once turning back to see if Éomer still followed. He desperately wanted to reach their destination before saying what he had to say, wanting no possible distractions.

Unable to stand the silence a moment longer and desperate for some answers, it was Éomer who spoke first.

“Faramir, I…” he started slowly, unsure of exactly what to say. “I am truly sorry for what happened last night. Not for kissing you, for I will treasure that moment for the rest of my life, but for the distress my actions appear to have caused you. That was never my intention.”

Faramir stopped walking as he heard Éomer’s apology. It was all he could do not to throw himself into the Rohirrim’s arms; he had never heard words so sweet and caring. Instead he replied softly, taking Éomer’s hand in his and looking him deep in the eye.

“It is I that am sorry, I should never have left you like that. I do want you, but you know things are never quite that simple.”

“Come, we are not far from camp now, let us return and then I want to explain my actions to you.”

Faramir turned to continue on their way but Éomer refused to let go of his hand, afraid that upon reaching the tree house the Gondorian would tell him that could never be.

Faramir smiled as he turned back to the man who had so quickly stolen his heart and placed a quick kiss on his lips. “Do not worry; I do not intend to leave you alone again.”

Éomer smiled as Faramir’s words provided him with all the reassurance he needed, that he was not about to be rejected a second time.

“Well what are you waiting for then ranger?” he replied teasingly as he walked quickly past the Gondorian, causing Faramir to snort and shake his head, secretly pleased that most of the tension between them seemed to have disappeared.

He desperately wanted to explore the feelings he had developed towards Éomer but he knew that having a relationship would be by no means easy, especially with his up-and-coming marriage to Éowyn. He wanted to remain faithful to her but it would be impossible to resist the temptation that her brother presented him with.

The silence on their journey was much more comfortable now and they walked quickly, both now eager to arrive at their destination.

Upon arrival, Faramir watched as the Rohirrim checked over their horses that they had left roaming wild the morning before. He had always admired the way that Éomer was so gentle and caring towards his splendid creatures, treating each one like a member of the family.

Boromir had always said that you could tell how a man would treat his lover from the way he acted towards his horse; a man who treated his horse simply as a possession would be a selfish lover, taking but giving little in return. “Boromir would have approved of Éomer,” thought Faramir to himself happily, now convinced that his decision was indeed the correct one.

It was not long before they were settled on the pallets in the tree house and Faramir started to explain about his lost loves and his brother’s words.

Éomer’s eyes narrowed in anger as he heard how Boromir had forbidden his brother from giving his heart freely. He just could not understand how you could prevent someone you loved from being happy.

Seeing the disapproval on his companion’s face, Faramir shifted closer to him and placed a hand on his knee.

“I know it sounds an awful thing to do to someone, but it was only ever said out of love.”

Éomer moved to speak, but Faramir stopped him and continued.

“I am sure you remember how Éowyn was when Théodred was killed, she told me herself that she fell apart, that it was only that she had to be strong during the war which guided her through. You would do anything to stop her going through that again, would you not?”

“Not anything,” thought Éomer to himself, but found himself nodding in reply. “For I could not let you go now for anyone in the world.”

As Faramir fell silent the Rohirrim took the opportunity to explain his own actions, feeling guilty for the way he had treated the steward in the beginning.

“I was in love once, or at least I thought I was,” he started softly. “I was young, and I did not know any better. He left me once he got his promotion within the ranks, he was only ever with me so he could further his career.”

He could not hide the bitterness in his voice, and it upset him that he was still affected by it after so long. He still felt ashamed and could not bear to look Faramir in the eye as he told his tale.

“I have not allowed myself to get close to anyone since. My unfriendly behaviour towards you was partly because I chose to believe all the lies and thought you unworthy of marrying my sister, but mostly because I knew that I was in danger of falling for you.”

As he spoke the last words he turned back to face the Gondorian, and tried to will away the tears which were forming in his eyes. “I am so sorry. You never deserved any of it.”

Faramir instantly wrapped his arms around the young man, pulling him close. Éomer seemed so vulnerable and upset and he wanted nothing more than to comfort him.
“Do not be sorry, it matters not,” he said gently, lying down on the pallet, pulling the other man down with him. “Rest now, I know you did not get much sleep last night. You will feel better when you wake.”

He watched happily as Éomer curled up in his arms, pushing himself backwards in order to make as much contact as possible. As the Rohirrim slipped into sleep he placed a gentle kiss against his brow and watched a small smile form on his lips.

“Forgive me my love,” he whispered softly. “For I can not marry your sister now that you have stolen my heart.”

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