Faramir Fiction Archive

Fate (R)

Written by Laurëlóte

01 February 2012 | 2472 words

Title: Fate
Author: Laurëlóte
Beta: None, all mistakes are mine
Pairing: Faramir/Haldir
Rating: R
Warnings: AU
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine. They belong as ever to Tolkien.
Summary: Faramir’s recurring dream takes him to Helm’s Deep in order to change the fate of an elf.

Written for moanahine’s birthday. Hope you like it sweetheart <3

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Fate

Could you change fate? Often he had dreamt of things that had become; things he had no control of, but what if he had the power to change the things that were meant to be? And why, this time did he have the overwhelming desire to try?

The dream had been recurring. It had first come to him shortly after reaching his majority and had visited him once or twice a year hence. Over and over he had witnessed the death of an elf. Not just any elf, a powerful warrior, someone important, struck down in his prime in the heat of battle. He had never seen the elf’s face, just the shower of silver hair cascading down his back.

In his dream he tried to reach him but always moments too late as the fatal blow fell.

He always woke with a deep sense of sadness which he could not shake, even Boromir had failed to snap him out of it on those dark days. He did not know where or even when it was to occur, just that he had to do everything in his power to prevent it.

He surprised himself when his disobeyed his father’s orders, taking his men to Helm’s Deep in response to Rohir’s call for alms. His father was wrong, they needed to stand together if they were to defeat this darkness which was sweeping across Middle Earth.

Gratefully received, he and his men were positioned in the parapets with their bows in hands. The air was thick with emotion; many of the men fighting for Rohan were clearly not used to holding a sword and it was all Faramir could do to calm their nerves.

All too soon the battle begun, the clash of metal and the swoosh of arrows mingled with the cries of men and orcs. Sweat poured down his forehead as he pulled back his bow again and again, then suddenly he saw him, the flash of silver hair, his elf, in the midst of battle.

He shouted to one of his men to take command as he grabbed his sword and went running down to the battlefield.

He arrived just as the Uruk-hai sneaked up behind the blond elf as he was distracted by another orc. He had seen that final blow dozens of times before and as the orc raised his axe, and without a single moment’s thought Faramir flung himself between him and the elf.

He briefly acknowledged pain and the sight of his elf spinning round to dispatch the Uruk-hai before the darkness called to him. He tried to fight it for the briefest of seconds before he let go, he had done what he needed to do.

A voice called to him from the darkness, asking him to return. It told him his work was not yet done, but he was tired, the elf was safe. He told the voice to let him sleep, but he would not. He kept calling.

Slowly Faramir opened his eyes and was greeted by a pair of grey ones looking back at him as if they could see into the very depths of his soul. Somehow he knew these were the eyes off his king; he had been the one to call and he had obeyed.

For a couple of days he could do nothing but sleep, he was dimly aware of healers bustling around him and changing his bandages, but it was not until the third day where he had reached a point where he was strong enough to hold a short conversation. That was the day his elf came to him.

“Do you have any idea what you have done?” spat the elf angrily. “I was supposed to die, it was my duty, and you try and get yourself killed in my stead.”

Faramir was taken a back, he had not expected the elf to be angry. What had happened that he really wanted to die so much?

“It is no ones duty to die,” he replied trying to keep the fury from his voice. Who commanded this warrior that they should want him dead? “It was my fate that I should save you, though only the Valor knows why I should save the life of such an ungrateful elf!”

“Next time, do not bother,” snapped the elf in return, stalking from the room before Faramir could utter another word.

Faramir lay there shocked at the angry exchange. It made no sense to him the one should wish to die. Even when life seemed at it’s cruelest he had always had something positive to focus on. He had never once questioned whether the elf would actually wish to be saved.

It was some time before Faramir was visited again, this time it was another elf, similar yet different, the same soft, silver hair but slighter in build, a kind look upon his face.

The elf introduced himself as Rύmil.

“You must forgive my brother, Haldir” he explained earnestly. “You are a soldier also, I am sure you wonder what you would do if peace came to your lands. Haldir knows nothing except war, he has never had time for anything else.”

“Our lady informed him recently of her premonition, that he would die upon the battlefield and it has become his obsession.”

Faramir’s head jerked up in surprise. “She foretold it? I have seen it too, which is why I knew I must save him.”

“For that I will be eternally grateful,” replied Rύmil softly. “Haldir may think that his life is empty, but Orophin and I hold him dear.”

Once the elf had left, Faramir had many hours to dwell upon what he had learnt of his mystery elf. Now he had both a face and a name for his vision.

He understood what it was like to know nothing but war, he himself would have liked to be a scholar but as soon as he was old enough, his father had pushed a bow in his hands. What reading he had done, had been done in his own time; usually instead of sleep. If he took his work as seriously as Rύmil had suggested then it was easy to see that he had little time for anything else in his life.

It was some weeks before Faramir could leave the houses of healing. He wondered if the elves would have returned to Lórien. Strangely the thought of not seeing Haldir again saddened him, he had thought of him a lot while confined to his sick bed and somehow he felt that the Marchwarden needed saving in more ways than one.

Relief washed over him as he entered the dining hall to the sight of Haldir and his brothers having an intense discussion with Aragorn, Éomer and a couple of others.

Not wanting to interrupt, he took some food from the table and went to sit at the other side of the hall only to be stopped by Rύmil beckoning him over, earning himself a glare from his older brother. Haldir obviously had not forgiven him yet, the ranger thought sadly.

“We are just trying to form a plan of action,” explained Rύmil “Perhaps you could update us on the situation in Gondor.”

Faramir nodded and obliged, keen to help however he could.

Despite wanting to dislike the ranger who had saved him, Haldir found himself impressed with the thoroughness of the report the man presented and the battle tactics he suggested were insightful. The man was clearly a capable warrior, leader and an asset to their cause, not be mention a handsome one at that.

That was the real root of the problem, ever since that horrific moment when had had swung round to see Faramir falling to the ground, he had been unable to get the young man’s face out of his mind. He wanted to hate him for meddling in fate, but it was becoming more and more difficult.

They were thrown together over the next few days, finalising their plans. The elves had agreed to stay with Aragorn as long as it took to destroy the evil of Sauron and the time had come for them to move on from the safety of Helm’s Deep.

He could almost taste the distress radiating from Faramir as he was told that he should stay behind. The ranger was desperate to prove himself and refused to accept that he was still too wounded to fight in battle. Eventually it took an order from Aragorn before he relented to stay behind and that was only on the compromise that he return to Gondor just a week later.

While they were apart, Haldir found himself thinking of Faramir a great deal and whether he liked to admit it, he was drawn to the Gondorian captain. He had never felt the desire to be close to anyone and suddenly here he was wishing he could share even the most simplest things with the young man. What could have been passed off as curiosity was now becoming a more serious attraction.

This attraction however had led him to a problem. Faramir was obviously painfully shy when it came to discussing more personal matters and Haldir himself had never had time for courting anyone, he was not sure where to begin, besides it was not as if he had been particularly nice to the young man. He would be surprised if Faramir would give him the time of day once all this bloodshed was over.

Their reunion was not quite as he had hoped, when they returned to Gondor. The rumour was that Faramir’s father had tried to burn him alive before killing himself. He did not know if it was true, but the young ranger certainly was being heavily guarded in the healing houses once again.

It was a few days before he was given permission to visit the newly appointed steward. He still did not know the best way to capture Faramir’s heart but he could start with a thank you and an apology.

Faramir was pleasantly surprised when Haldir visited him in the Houses of Healing, even apologising for being so ungrateful in Rohan. A niggling doubt in the back of his mind told him that he had only done it because he felt sorry for him, but he pushed it aside knowing that it was probably not in the elf’s nature to apologise unless he deemed it necessary.

He had thought about the warrior a lot since they had parted. It was funny how despite the elf’s brash exterior, he had found himself attracted to Haldir. He was very handsome of course, but all elves were to a degree. He thought perhaps it was because they had much in common; two people with no time for friends or lovers, used to spending days on end alone on some isolated outpost. He could not help but wonder if they were supposed to be together now that the war was over..

It was foolish though, why on earth would Haldir wish to be with him when his own father had hated him enough to try and kill him? Besides, Haldir would surely sail with his brothers. Days passed and he pushed the silly dreams from his mind as he took up his duties as steward, there was no time to pursue relationships when there was so much work to do in order to restore Gondor to it’s former glory, and an elf such as Haldir was obviously way out of his league.

Haldir watched from a distance as Faramir worked himself to the point of exhaustion, he had lost some of the spark he had had in Rohan, and although his work was always detailed and efficient it was almost as though the young steward was simply just going through the motions. It was now he realised that perhaps it truly was fate that Faramir had saved him that day, for now it seemed as though that it was Faramir himself who needed saving.

It was late one evening when he went in search for the young steward and eventually he found him staring out of the window, bathed in the moonlight. He drunk in the sight of Faramir for what seemed like eternity, unable to quite build up the courage to approach him. He was a warrior, he was fearless, but now nerves had almost got the better of him.
Finally, he took a decisive step forward, now committed he went to join Faramir by the window.

“I wished to die upon the battlefield because I knew of nothing else” he said quietly as he stood beside the ranger and placed a hand upon his arm. “But now I find myself thinking that perhaps there is another reason to live. I should like to stay in Gondor, if you will have me?”

Faramir shook himself from his reverie and looked at Haldir, his heart beating faster at the touch of the elf’s hand. “You do not wish to sail with your kin? I am sure King Elessar will be more than happy for you to stay here or in Ithilien if you wish.”

“I do not want to stay because it is Aragorn’s wish,” stressed Haldir. “I want you to desire it.”

The ranger turned back towards the window, confused. Why would his opinion possibly matter to this handsome, strong warrior? He wanted it to matter, he wanted Haldir to stay for him and him alone, but he hardened his heart to the glimmer of hope that built up inside.

“Gods, Faramir. Do not make this harder for me that it is already,” the elf snapped in frustration. “You are the one who is good with words, not I. I do not know…”

Suddenly, at a loss for words, he pulled Faramir towards him, pressing his lips against his own. Faramir stiffened briefly until his body realised what was happening and then returned the kiss frantically, his arms tightening around the elf as if this would be his one and only chance to show how he felt in return.

The kiss deepened, and both fought for dominance over it, neither of them quite ready to surrender to the other. Breathless, they eventually pulled apart.

Now was the time to put all fears aside.

“I should like you to stay, let us make our own fate.” said Faramir softly as lent back in for another kiss.

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