Faramir Fiction Archive

Faramir's Second Chance (PG-13)

Written by Morwen

17 January 2013 | 25743 words | Work in Progress

Author’s Note: Finally updating this story again… At this point, I wonder how long it will take me to complete it? Feel free to R&R… if you have any ideas about how this story should continue, feel free to give me input. :)

Chapter Six

Just after that evening’s meal, Faramir had been sent to bed early by Elrond. Now under the elf’s healing care, Faramir was to obey strict rules of an early bedtime and plenty of sleep to enable some well-deserved restful healing. Elrond sat in his study while the boy slept, pondering his own thoughts as usual, but Erestor knew that his lord was under more stress than usual.

“You are worried about Faramir, are you not?” Erestor asked, approaching Elrond as he worked at his desk. Elrond felt no need to hide his thoughts from Erestor, replying, “I am indeed. I have not seen such behavior and hurt from him since he first arrived here.”

“Is it not perfectly normal for younger Men of his age to still respond emotionally to stressful situations?” Erestor asked, although they both knew he was correct. Elrond nodded vaguely, saying, “That much is true. However, Faramir is usually far better at controlling himself. He appears more mature than other young Men of his age.”

“Perhaps he deserves a bit of a break,” Erestor suggested. The elf sat down with a book, and flipped absentmindedly through its pages. ”He will only be young once, then an adult for such a short time. Then he will grow old… and like all other Men, he will die.”

“That one has much work yet to complete before his life is over,” Elrond replied, “and I think you know that.” Elrond’s foresight hinted to him that this Man and his standing, being one of the sons of the Steward of Gondor, told him much about the boy’s future role in Middle Earth… Particularly for Gondor.

“I do know that. I do not mean to be so rash.” Erestor stood up and said, “I mainly came to you merely to alert you that the boy is not truly sleeping. I just passed his chambers, he’s awake and writing away in his notebook.” After that statement, Elrond looked up at Erestor with a somewhat stern look. “Why were you watching him?”

“I am sorry my lord,” Erestor replied, apologetic. “He did not even know that I opened his doors and had one mere glance inside. I merely suspected that he was awake, and indeed his was – and far too engrossed in his writings to notice I was even there.”

“Very well then, I will ask him about it. He needs his sleep, and I made that absolutely clear to him.” Elrond stood and walked down another winding hallway to prepare a tonic for Faramir and Erestor followed behind, saying, “While you are the healer of this House, I am your closest advisor, and I know that you are under more duress lately. Please allow me to care for you also; someone must help you.”

“I need no tending to, Erestor; you know that.” Elrond fussed over preparing Faramir’s tonic, blending the ingredients in a mug. “The heaviness of my thoughts does not weaken me as it does for Faramir, or other men, or even some elves. You know this.”

“Indeed I do,” Erestor responded. “However, I do think you fail to realize how much I wish to care for you.” Was there something in Erestor’s voice that hinted at something more? For once, Elrond could not fully tell.

“I do realize, Erestor.” The calm timbre of Elrond’s voice soothed his companion. “Do not worry for me. I am well, and under no more stress than I can normally handle. After surviving all I have, there is nothing on my mind that can worry me to a point of exhaustion again.” Having fully prepared the tonic, the elf headed down the hallway alone to Faramir’s chambers. Knocking once on the door, he entered before the bewildered boy had a chance to hide his books and return to bed. “Doing a little bit more writing, I see?” Elrond asked with a slight smile, the tone of his voice akin to a parent catching a child stealing an extra cookie from the jar. He brought the tonic to Faramir, handing it to him. “This is for you.”

“Another tonic, perhaps?” Faramir asked, trying to make light conversation after being caught. He took a deep drink, and knew from the taste that it was indeed one of Elrond’s magical concoctions – probably one for sleeping. The elf sat down next to Faramir on the bed and stated, “I do not know what is on your mind, young one. But I am hoping you will open up to me soon, given that I am someone you can tell you worries to.”

“Isn’t that being a bit weak at heart?” Faramir asked, looking up at the Elf. Elrond smiled. “In situations such as these, it is the opposite. Even the mightiest of warriors must confide their own worries and concerns once in awhile. There is no escaping it, and discussing issues with a trusted friend is the best way to resolve those issues more quickly. I hope, by now, that I am one of your trusted friends.”

“Oh, you are.” The way Faramir immediately worked to please Elrond was both endearing and worrisome.

“Then what were you writing so vigorously in your journal?” Elrond asked. “I think it must know some of your secrets.” When Faramir looked up at Elrond again, there was an expression of surprise and fear. He seemed to be frozen for a moment, before quickly looking away and saying, “I wasn’t writing much. Just scribbles.”

“You and I both know that those were no scribbles,” Elrond said. “Would it be better if I simply read it, or would you rather tell me an edited version of the words you’ve been writing on paper late this evening?”

The sigh that came from Faramir’s lips was distraught, and filled with hesitation. Elrond noticed that the boy was beginning to shake, but he didn’t know what for. He placed an arm around his shoulder and murmured, “What is it? You can let it go. You need to tell someone.” When there was no response he prompted, “I know that things are difficult with your father, but this is why you need healing. You need time, before facing that sort of challenge. We discussed this. I would be happy to discuss it further, if you wish.” At that point, Faramir thrust himself into Elrond’s arms for a hug and didn’t let go. The elf hugged the boy for a few moments, but realized that something was still wrong. Instead of opening up about this difficult topic that had been brought out into the open, Faramir was still hesitant. Then Faramir said, “Em… Elrond… that is what makes it so hard for me to talk. The thing I have been most worried about is not that… my brother and I discussed that, and it is indeed stressful to think about reuniting with father, but there was something else that my brother and I discussed one evening while he was here. And it has bothered me since, and I can’t get some of these thoughts out of my head.” Faramir heaved another great sigh after that statement, as if the words were lifting a bit of a burden off his shoulders. Elrond knew they were making progress. They couldn’t stop now.

“I see. What is it that you two discussed?” the elf asked, genuinely curious. As far as he could remember, he had not overheard any other conversations of the two young Men talking alone.

“Well…” Faramir sat up so he could look Elrond in the eye. “Boromir was telling me about… um… some times he’s had back in Gondor during the rest of the winter festivals and holidays, but they were about time he spent with… a few maidens…” Faramir trailed off and Elrond picked up in his stead, saying, “I am assuming your brother was talking about some of his own sexual escapades, was he not? He is certainly of a proper age to be doing so… oh, Faramir. You are becoming flushed.” Elrond did his best to remain calm as always, although inwardly he was fighting the urge to giggle at the petrified and embarrassed look on Faramir’s face. “I know we have briefly discussed sexuality before, so why is this a large matter?”

“Well… he was telling me some stories about it, and they were all about ladies he had been with, and I realized… I’ve never really had a lady of my own, and I wondered if that was… strange.”

“Oh, it’s certainly not strange, but you are just coming in to the age of finding someone of your own to spend intimate time with. There is no specific time to find someone, but if you found someone now, I am sure you would be with her. The primary problem, for you, is that you live in an area surrounded by elves,” Elrond chuckled. But something on Faramir’s face told him something else was amiss.

“That’s just the problem,” Faramir murmured now. “Surrounded by eleves. I have always been fascinated by them. I remember the infatuation I had for lady Arwen when you first brought me here, but I have never felt that for anybody else. Well, anybody except for… no. Nobody else.” Faramir began fidgeting with his own hands and clammed up, but Elrond was far too intrigued to let this go. “Who is it?” he asked. No response. “You were about to say the name. Who is she? Faramir?” The elf gave a light sigh, then asked once more, “What is her first name?”

“It’s not a lady!” Faramir suddenly burst out, before placing a hand over his mouth and turning away. Elrond was slightly baffled by the sudden outburst of behavior, but handled it as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. “I am listening, young one. It is a male that you are attracted to?” he asked, wishing to get to the point before the man shut down and never told him anything again. Slowly, Faramir nodded.

“There is no shame in being attracted to another male,” Elrond said, feeling a sense of relief wash over him for a moment as he realized that Faramir’s troubles were something that could be quite easy to get over in this accepting environment. “I hope you know that. You know that the elves do not discriminate against the sexuality of others, as long as every act is consensual between all partners involved.” Elrond found this thought a bit bemusing; though a few Men were known to display homosexual attraction toward other males, the elves were the primary race in Middle Earth known for their acceptance and practice of homosexual acts. However, as Elrond pondered who Faramir’s affections might lie with, he realized that there were very few Men in all of Rivendell that Faramir could be attracted to. He asked, “Faramir, who is he?”

“I do not think it would be wise for me to tell you,” Faramir replied, looking genuinely fearful and hesitant. Elrond smiled a little. “Now, really. You already admitted to me all those years ago that you were sweet on my own daughter, so I am sure I can handle hearing this. You can tell me, and it will be kept in the strictest of confidence.” Elrond saw Faramir beginning to trust him and waited for the answer, which finally fell off of Faramir’s lips.

“Erestor.” When the word finally came out, Faramir instantly began searching in Elrond’s eyes for a negative reaction. Even after five years of being in good friendship with Elrond, he always feared losing the old elf’s trust and friendship. Elrond looked away for a moment, deep in thought. Though the situation was perfectly serious to Faramir, to Elrond it was like watching a young elfling admit to a crush on another older elf. It was no big deal; in fact, Elrond found it endearing as well. However, he knew that Faramir’s feelings needed to be treated with care, so he spent a few moments assuring the young man that things would be all right.

“No need to fear, dear Faramir,” Elrond soothes the Gondorian. “It is normal to have these feelings. With living so long, most elves are widely aware of the number of crushes individuals can have on them, and it is not alarming. And sometimes, it is most welcome.” Though Elrond was almost certain that Erestor was not interested in Faramir in that way, he did not want to crush the boy’s feelings. “Why is it that you feel so attracted to him?”

“I can’t really explain it,” Faramir whispered back, keeping his voice hushed as if Erestor was just around the corner. Faramir certainly didn’t want many knowing about his mixed-up feelings for the elf.

“Well, that won’t do. That is much too vague of an answer. I think you know that, as well.” Elrond considered things for a moment, and remembered just a few moments ago when Erestor had stopped in to Faramir’s chambers to check on him. “You have spent as much time with Erestor as you have with me, learning to use the bow and studying many maps. What would have drawn you to Erestor, and not me? Attraction is certainly an interesting phenomenon, isn’t it? You must focus on the small details in an individual, to determine what it is that you truly enjoy about them.” When Faramir began blushing a deep scarlet, Elrond couldn’t help but to smile. He prompted the lad once again to tell him what was on his mind.

“Well, I was just thinking… I mean, both Erestor and you have taught me for a long time, and you’re alike… and so I don’t know why I would only have feelings for him.” Faramir finally met Elrond’s eyes. “I do not know why I am so fascinated with elves.”

“Elves are fascinating to many, sometimes even to ourselves!” Elrond replied. “That may seem slightly narcissistic, though. It is perfectly normal to be curious about them, and being curious in this way is not out of the ordinary.” In his heart, Elrond knew that Faramir’s infatuation was innocent – he was going to have a hard time not telling Erestor, simply because it was so sweet.

Meanwhile, Faramir’s own thoughts were swimming with ideas. What should he be telling the elf? How much should he tell? In reality, it wasn’t just Erestor that he liked – he found many elves in Rivendell to be attractive. And even though Elrond was the eldest of them all, he remained rather youthful in appearance, somehow. So much age and experience wrapped in one individual was always something that drew Faramir to Elrond, even when he had only read about Elrond in texts as a young child in Minas Tirith. These thoughts began overwhelming him, and he forgot the conversation for a moment until Elrond said, “Faramir, you’re shaking. Whatever is the matter? What are you worried about?” He took the young man to his shoulder now, embracing and comforting him. The Man’s words came with much hesitancy.

“I… I don’t even think I like just Erestor,” Faramir finally admitted. He had to get this news off of his own chest, before it absolutely crushed him. He couldn’t lie to Elrond, no matter how much he wanted to. He could keep secrets from the elf, but it would crush him – and Elrond always seemed to notice whenever Faramir was feeling guilty. “It seems that lately, almost every elf I see… I find him attractive. And hardly ever any of the female elves, although there have been a few in the past couple of weeks…”

“Faramir.” Elrond liked the fact that the boy was talking, but he wanted to interject. “As frightening as these things may seem to you, I have no doubt that they are perfectly normal behavior for your age. You are still learning many things, and sexuality is not something to be excluded in that learning process. You have grown up among the rest of us elves, and have forged some of the first close friendships of your life with male elves. I have a feeling that this behavior and these crushes on so many elven men – all simultaneous crushes, it seems – will fade in time, after a bit of your curiosity wears off.” Faramir listened intently, hoping that Elrond was right. He looked the elf in the face and asked, “Have other people done this before?”

“Many do it,” Elrond replied. “You are most certainly not the only one. These feelings are something that should be enjoyed, not worried about. Sometimes they are not even about obtaining sexual pleasure. Perhaps you may just want to hold someone’s hand.” As Elrond said so, he tested the water by slowly grasping Faramir’s hand and holding it in both of his own, caressing it quite tenderly. Elrond felt Faramir tense up and he blushed again, and knew then that the boy had a harmless crush on him as well. Faramir looked up at him after a moment and muttered, “You know, don’t you?”

“I think I do,” Elrond replied gently. “But it is quite all right.” But as he spoke, Faramir’s eyes would not leave his lips. After a moment’s hesitation, the elf asked, “Faramir… have you kissed someone before?”

“Kissed?” The young Gondorian looked slightly confused, but Elrond knew he was only fussing to keep from giving an answer straight away. “Sure. I’ve kissed on the cheek, I’ve been kissed on the cheek, I’ve kissed lady Arwen’s hand…” he trailed off when the elf began smiling at him, one of the biggest smiles he had ever seen the elf give. Faramir sighed. “No,” he finally admitted, “I have never kissed someone… like that. I have never been kissed by anyone, either. …Why are you asking me about this?”

“You can’t keep your eyes off of me,” Elrond grinned. “Even now. You are doing it again.” Faramir tore his eyes away and looked to the floor, apologizing. “I’m sorry. I guess I was just…” he took another deep breath, bracing himself. “I guess I was just wondering what it would be like. With you.”

“I know,” Elrond murmured, “That’s quite all right… It’s all very innocent. Do you want to try it?” he asked out of fun, and the Gondorian jumped. “Relax! Relax,” Elrond said, and took a deep breath. The young man followed his lead, taking the edge of the tension off. “It’s quite all right if you don’t want to. I would understand if you were curious and wanted to practice. But you have to be sure that you would be satisfied knowing that I was your very first kiss, out of many kisses I am sure you will receive in your lifetime. That is the deal.”

“No, I think I want to.” Faramir sounded more determined now, and the elf fought not to chuckle. This ought to be an interesting learning experience for him, the elf mused. I have told him before that he is always welcome to discuss topics of sexuality with me, but this is the first time he has ever accepted any help. Being an elf of so many years, kissing the young man was not an issue. He would be one of many kissed, not that any one kiss was less special than another.

Faramir readied himself, looking into Elrond’s eyes, and seemed to freeze. Elrond asked, “Are you waiting for me to make the final move? Or are you going to do things yourself?”

“Sorry… I am trying.” Faramir looked awkward and embarrassed; not only did he not know how to proceed with giving a kiss, but he was also not quite able to believe that he was about to kiss one of the most prestigious and well-known elves in all of Middle Earth who had lived through ages. But before he could think much further, the elf’s face got much closer to his own… he began to realize that Elrond was taking over, leaning over him slightly; he felt one of the elf’s strong hands take a hold of his waist and draw him close. The two of them made a strange contrast; Faramir, young and inexperienced, held safely in the arms of an elf who had seen much war and turmoil over the millenia and was more experienced in affection, kissing, and lovemaking than this man could ever begin to imagine.

Elrond could not deny feeling a bit conflicted at that very moment; he had cared for this boy since he was a child. He reminded himself that this kiss was only meant to give Faramir some clarity as to whether his fascination with male elves was a passing curiosity, or something he wished to explore further. Yes, this kiss is innocent. Elrond smiled to himself, as their faces got within inches of each other, eyes exploring each other. Elrond waited; he was not going to rush the boy’s first kiss, and knew that Faramir had to learn how to do it through his own practice and experience. He simply wanted to make it as easy as possible for Faramir to make his move, which he began to do quite naturally. Faramir’s approach appeared slow and gentle, and was doing well – until suddenly, just as the elf lord closed his eyes, Faramir lurched himself upward and pecked the elf quite hard on the lips. Elrond opened his eyes, slightly jarred, to see Faramir leaning away with his hands over his mouth.

“That does not even count,” Elrond chuckled. “You are going to have to try again. More slowly, and more gentle. Take your time and enjoy it. Would you like me to show you, little one?” he asked, seeing that Faramir was blushing again. Faramir nodded, and Elrond slowly brought the boy’s hand down from his face. Pulling him close once again, Elrond leaned in and took his time. He laid one sweet, gentle and tender kiss perfectly on Faramir’s waiting lips. It took several long seconds before the elf gently pulled away. Faramir seemed to have forgotten to breathe for a moment. He could smell the elf’s unique scent. The feel of his velvet and silk robes was both comforting and somehow erotic, which enticed and confused him. Suddenly, he appeared to come to his senses, came out of the immersion of the experience. He jumped rather quickly away from Elrond.

“I cannot believe — I am so sorry, Elrond. I cannot believe I have done this to you.” He springs to his feet, light and spry and quick as always. The elf lord stands up as well and reaches out to calm the man down, asking “Faramir? You have done no wrong… I am sorry if I have confused you.”

“No, no – I’m fine. I’m just going to – I didn’t mean – I have to go out on a ride. I’ll return in time for dinner.” And with that, he fled, more confused and yet on top of the world than he thought he could possibly be all at once. Elrond merely attempted to adjust to what had occurred… and to ignore the feelings he would have to admit to experiencing.

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