Faramir Fiction Archive

Endurance (R)

Written by Nemain Isa

08 December 2007 | 969 words

Title: Endurance
Author: Nemain Isa
Pairing: Faramir/ Boromir
Rating: G
Disclaimer: All lies.
Summary: Faramir pleads with his brother
A/N: No beta, apologies for any mistakes.

Warning: Character death! (besides Bori,that is..) Beware, beware!

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All the harsh words, feeling unloved, unwanted. Never good enough, never brave enough or smart enough. Being alone.
The Ring calling me, speaking of power beyond imagination, love and respect from all.
I endured it all.
For you.

Boromir. My captain. My brother. My heart.
True love does not know boundaries, my love, not even those of the blood. We found that out long ago, and we were punished for it by years and years of keeping silent, and hiding. But it was well worth it.
All I endured for you was worth it.

Every memory of you, showing me how love could be, how love should be, I keep in my heart, treasuring them as if they are the most precious of jewels. I do not look at them too often, for I am afraid they will one day loose their sparkle, that they will be corrupted by the world around us.
But when I allow myself to remember, I see it all.

I remember the sky being as blue as could be, almost painful to the eyes. You wore a green tunic that made your eyes light up. Your hair was too long; strands kept falling in your face. You had not shaven for some days, and I remember how hard I had to bite the inside of my cheek to prevent rubbing my cheek against your stubble.
You laughed in that way that made your eyes crinkle as you easily ducked my attacks.
When you had enough of my poor attempts, you tripped me, rolled on top of me and grabbed my hands, holding them in your iron grip.
My body reacted, and I prayed you would not notice, but your eyes.. They darkened in a peculiar way.
You asked me to surrender, and when I said yes, my brother, I did not just mean just that moment. I meant forever.
I surrender to you, body and soul.

Why do I torture myself? Better spear my body, for that would not hurt so much.

Still, I cannot help thinking about what came next. I said yes, and your eyes started sparkling like Eärendil. Your eyes. You gazed into mine and saw all that I had desperately been hiding.

You kissed me, and I fainted.

When I came to, I was in your arms and you smiled down at me.
I was home.

I endured it all.
Even after I found the horn at the banks of the Anduin river, I refused to believe it. I discarded the mere possibility from my mind; I did not accept what my dreams and my eyes told me. Instead I fought with double courage, believing, hoping against hope that when I would return you would be there.

I sent men into death, yes, praying that the Gods would accept such a sacrifice and bring you back to me. Innocents for an innocent, blood for blood.

All of the sudden, the war was over. I was unable to fight the last battle. If I would have, would you have been here now? Am I being punished for not defending our honour, for not defending Gondor till the end?

I sat on the walls of our beautiful, broken city, and I waited for you. My mind did not wander once. For days and nights, I sat there, until Aragorn came looking for me. But even Elessar himself could not make me move an inch.
In a last attempt, hoping it would help me, he told me. Of how you… even saying it is impossible. He cried when he told me, and I cried to, but I did not avert my eyes from the horizon, still praying for your return. You fought so brave, my brother. You protected them as you have always protected me.

This is my eighth evening here, the sun is going down, painting the skies pink and red and orange. I still don’t take my eyes of the horizon, but I stand up slowly. I can see more standing up, maybe now I can see you coming.

You are not coming back, are you?

Please, Bori, don’t you understand? You are my life: my sun, my moon and all my stars. What am I to do when my sun fades out, my moon dies and all the stars explode, leaving nothing but darkness?

The last time we kissed, it was here. A beautiful warm night. You kissed me and promised me you’d come back. Why haven’t you?

Closing my eyes, I can pretend you’re here with me. Do you feel the wind, brother? Can you hear it calling you? Do you feel the last light of the sun warm you?
I endured it all. No more. I cannot, please.

Catch me, brother.

From a distance, Aragorn saw Faramir standing up on the fortress wall. His heart jumped; he
hoped that would mean the young man would finally come down. He had sat there, right there, for eight days already, heartbroken by the loss of his brother. More than just a brother.

Despite all rumours, about swearing his allegiance in brave and beautiful words, Boromir’s last word had been ‘Faramir’.

He saw tear streaked cheeks, trembling hands and lips, moving as if Faramir spoke to himself, while the young man stepped to the edge of the wall and spread his arms. Faramir lifted his head, savouring the last rays of light on his face.

Aragorn’s mouth opened in a silent scream. Before his mind could set his feet to work, he watched Faramir take a step forward. Down. Into darkness and nothing.

Catch me, brother.

Fin

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