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Death Long Suffered (NC-17) Print

Written by Alcardilmë

09 December 2009 | 33441 words

Chapter Twenty-One – A Time of Testing

When they returned to camp two hours later, Boromir found that a tent had been set up. “Wherever did you find this?”

“You forget. Mablung’s farmstead is only a league to the north. We… borrowed cutlery, dishes and such. In case you decided to stay for an extended period.”

Mablung came out of the tent. “All nice and cozy-like, Captain. You could stay here until the snows come.”

Faramir blushed. “That would be very nice.”

“Glad you agree, Lieutenant,” Damrod said. “We also absconded with some fresh meat. Mablung’s wife is generous.”

The other warrior laughed. “I had to promise I would spend the night with her. Damrod agreed. He does not think you will need more than one to stand guard.”

“I will relieve him at the mid night hour.” Boromir peeked into the tent and was delighted with what he saw.

“It will not be necessary. I took a small rest while Mablung was gone, in anticipation of just such an event. I am well rested.”

“Nevertheless, I will take the second watch.”

“As you wish.” Damrod knew well, from Boromir’s tone, not to push the point further.

“Well, Faramir,” Boromir drew his sword and stepped away from his brother. “It is time to see if you can still raise your sword after all this time. I think the last time we sparred was two weeks ago.”

“If you had not run off to Amon Dîn, the time would not have been as long,” Faramir countered, drawing his own sword.

They practiced for two hours; Boromir was delighted to see that Faramir’s reflexes were faster than the last time they had drawn swords together. “Whom have you been sparring with?” he asked after a particularly fierce session.

“Damrod and Mablung. They grew bored, pulling duty in the City.”

“My thanks then,” Boromir gave them a left-handed salute in the midst of a parry. He then lunged and Faramir easily sidestepped it, bringing his own sword up and almost making contact with Boromir’s unprotected left arm.

“Hoy! Well done. Now, try to block this if you can.” Another lunge, another thrust, a quick parry. After close unto an hour, all could see Faramir’s strength ebbing. “About time we stopped. You did well.” Boromir grasped Faramir in a warm embrace. “Very well. I think I will recommend that you be placed back on the active roster.”

Faramir stepped back. “You truly will?” His voice was sharp with joy and his eyes lit instantly in delight. “Boromir! Thank you.”

“There is no need for thanks. Gondor needs all the men it can get. About time you got off your lazy ass and did something useful.” His proud smile belied the gentle ribbing. “Where would you want to be posted?”

They sat by the fire; Boromir motioned and Damrod and Mablung sat next to them.

Taking a deep breath, Faramir unhesitatingly spoke. “Ithilien.”

Boromir almost fell off the log. “Nay. I will not send you there.”

“I know the men there. I know the terrain. I now know the dangers.”

Tears sprang to Boromir’s eyes, but stayed their course. “I cannot. Not at this time. Not because of the danger.” His hand settled upon Faramir’s thigh. “You have not yet the endurance for a prolonged battle. Therefore, I will send you to Dol Amroth. I think… Yes.” His eyes lit up. “It will be difficult, Faramir. I will ask Uncle Adrahil to place you on one of their ships. The motion will improve your balance. Perhaps one of his warships.”

“Difficult?”

“Yes. Trying to stay afoot in three-fathom swells is not an easy task. You need further work with your balance. This will help. You will have time to practice with your sword too. Wielding a blade as a ship pitches is an experience.” Boromir’s smile was wide.

“All right. But I go only with the assurance that I will be stationed in Ithilien when I return. How long?”

“Two years.”

“Nay! I cannot.”

“Two years or I send you to the smithy.” Boromir’s brow quirked. “Though that is not a bad idea. The work with anvil and hammer would definitely strengthen your muscles.”

Faramir paled. “Dol Amroth it is.”

Boromir pulled his brother closer, wrapped his arm around his waist, and kissed him – in full view of his men. “I will visit often.”

“Let us eat now,” Damrod said. “The venison falls from the bone. And we have some nice squash and potatoes, and a bottle of wine.”

“Wine?” Boromir smiled. “Break it open.”

The soldier did and poured. They stood, took their moment of silence, then quickly downed the first glass.

Boromir eyed the bottle. “Only one?”

“No,” Mablung laughed. “Three. One for the daymeal; two for later.” He winked at Boromir and smiled.

Boromir nodded, a faint wash of red covered his face. “Thank you.”

“Well,” Damrod said. “Let us eat. Here, Faramir. Take this piece. And you Boromir.” The warrior-cook proceeded to dish out the meal.

All fell upon the food with gusto. At last, accompanied by friendly chatter, they finished. Damrod and Mablung began to gather the dishes and such. They wrapped them in a large cloth and Mablung tied it to his horse.

“Wait. You are not taking them back for your woman to wash?”

“No, Captain. I will wash them. She likes…” The warrior blushed. “She likes to see me with my hands in the tub, washing. She sneaks up… Well, we have a fine time of it. I would not deny her such pleasure, as generous as she has been this day.”

Boromir laughed. “Then go and give her my thanks!”

Mablung mounted and rode away. Damrod stepped to the fire and added a few logs. “I will go relieve myself, wash up and then return in but a short time. Is there anything you need?”

“No. Faramir and I will join you in the walk.”

Damrod nodded and the brothers walked with him to the stream. They each found a secluded place to relieve themselves, away from the water, then stepped to the stream and laved their hands and faces.

“Perhaps we might return here later for a quick wash?” Boromir whispered to Faramir. “We might be a bit… soiled.”

Faramir blushed and shivered in anticipation.

“Best get back to camp now, Captain. The sun sets.”

They walked slowly back, relishing the noises of dusk, the sound of the stream.

“If you do not mind, Captain, I would like to guard from a little to the north. It will be a clear night; there is a small hillock where I can watch for quite some distance.”

Boromir nodded, remembering their camp was blocked from the hillock’s view by a small copse of wild fruit trees. “Very well. Wake me when ‘tis time.”

Damrod saluted and left them.

Faramir stretched, removed his sword, and sat on a log by the fire. “They are very kind. They love you.”

“They have grown to love you too, Faramir. Who could not? Your courage is almost disconcerting.”

His little brother blushed. “Not courage, Boromir. I had to return. No matter what. I could not… I had to see you again, before I died. It was the only thought that kept me sane, that gave me the courage to hold on to life.”

“Faramir,” Boromir sobbed as he took his little brother in his arms. “I love you.” He sealed the statement with a long and passionate kiss. Pulling free with difficulty, he smiled. “The men have made the tent quite habitable.” He chortled. “Come.” He held his hand out and Faramir took it. They walked slowly to the tent, Boromir’s arm around Faramir’s waist.

When they entered, Faramir gasped. “I cannot believe Mablung lives with such… luxury!”

“It is a bit bewildering, is it not? But then again, Mablung spent a stint on the borders of Harad. I assume he brought most of this back with him.”

“The pillows colors are… bright. Tapestries?”

Laughing in joy, Boromir embraced Faramir. “Not as bright as your face,” he teased, kissing his brother lightly. “The tapestries dull the noise.” He chucked Faramir on the arm as his brother’s face shaded an even darker red. “Come let us lie down. Much as I hate the thought, you must rest now. We may play later.”

Faramir pouted. “I do not need sleep; I need you.”

NB: Please do not distribute (by any means, including email) or repost this story (including translations) without the author's prior permission. [ more ]

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43 Comment(s)

An interesting start to the story. Poor Faramir! I look forward to the next installment.

— Ria    Friday 24 July 2009, 2:40    #

Saw this started on Henneth-Annun, and hoped it would come here as well. A very difficult topic, and you are handling it with great care!

— ebbingnight    Friday 24 July 2009, 23:45    #

Many thaks Ria and ebbingnight for reading. I hope you enjoy this. It is a bitter-sweet little tale. Alcardilme

Alcardilmë    Monday 3 August 2009, 20:57    #

I have not been to this site for quite some time now. I havn’t had time but I have missed it. I found some free time today and I sat down to see if there were any new stories, and I found yours. I once made a promice that I would never again read a WIP that wasn’t finnished. I will never be so foolish ever again, I can’t belive that I almost missed this. Now here I am with my heart in my throat just waiting for a new chapter. I love this story. The way you are jumping between time is so skillful, it’s just perfect. The subject is indeed a hard one but the way you are dealing with it is remarkable.
Thank you for letting us read this story. I am hooked.
Thank you

— Ingrid    Wednesday 5 August 2009, 10:06    #

Many thanks, Ingrid. For your hearts ease, this tale is complete; (I have felt the same way abouts WIPs – which made me vow never to start a tale and not finish it!) I am just putting it up chapter by chapter… trying to put up one every 4-6 days. I hope I sustain your interest and delight! You really help a writer feel good.

Alcardilmë    Wednesday 5 August 2009, 13:26    #

My heart be still!
You really do know how too keep a girl in suspence. I just love it. It’s so perfect and the way that you write sends shivers down my spine, in a most delightful way, I am a lover of a beautiful language and yours… I can’t even find a word to do it justice.
How i wished that I could write like you but sadly that is a talant I am denied. Lucky for me I can always come here and read it over and over again and it will always be here.
Thank you again

— Ingrid    Sunday 9 August 2009, 21:00    #

blushes Thank you very much. Even after all these years of writing, it still tickles my heart to be so kindly applauded. Again, 10,000 thanks!

— Alcardilmë    Monday 10 August 2009, 0:24    #

Yes!! One more chapter.
I am so glad that Faramir is awake but I fear for him as he in time comes will remeber or find out what has happened to him, how will he cope with that? What a sweet song Boromir sang to him, you have really captured the love between them in a beautiful way. I hope that Boromir can help his ‘little one’. Boromir reminds me so much about my own big brother, so I can’t help but love him.
I am thankfull that Denethor is not a brutal monster but that he actually care about both his sons. It is sad though, that it would have to come to such a terrible thing like this for Denethor to show some love and concern for his youngest.
Can hardly wait for the following chapters.
Hugs

— Ingrid    Friday 14 August 2009, 21:51    #

Thank you so much! The way that Tolkien describes B & F’s love for each other in the Appendix is so beautiful and poignant – especially considering what happens in their lives. (the song is one I made up and sang to my own children; they now sing it to theirs!)

As for Denethor – it would be rare indeed for me to ever ‘abuse’ the man. I thought he was a tragic hero in LotR.

Bless you for your kind words and your enthusiasm. MOST appreciated!

Alcardilmë    Saturday 15 August 2009, 3:43    #

(Whispers between tears) Thank you so much.
Lovely and beautiful is not enough for such a story.

— Ingrid    Wednesday 19 August 2009, 12:07    #

Ah, Ingrid – offers a clean hanky – sorry for the tears, but I’m glad they were ‘happy’ tears… or perhaps contented tears. Bless you!

Alcardilmë    Thursday 20 August 2009, 2:40    #

You are so talented. The way you write, it feels like I am almost there, like I am a spirit standing beside and can do nothing but witness the horrors.
You are a genious, a creator, a wounder.
I wish that my first language was english so that I could realy tell you what my heart speaks

— Ingrid    Saturday 29 August 2009, 10:19    #

Your heart speaks through your words and mine is forever toched.

Bless you for the very kind review. I am grateful beyond words!

Alcardilmë    Sunday 30 August 2009, 21:02    #

I feel blessed for being able and allowed to read this. The story is so wonderful, I will never be able to thank you or praise you enough. Everything just gets better and better. Poor Boromir, trying so hard to do what he think is best for Faramir, and poor Faramir who can’t understand why his beloved brother has changed so much. I have said it before and I say it again, I wished that I had your talent for writing.

—    Wednesday 9 September 2009, 14:28    #

I cannot thank you enough for this review. I just got totally, soundly, and horrendously rejected for my tale, Betrayed, at Henneth Annun.

So the timeliness of your kind words are as a soothing balm upon my dispirited and distraught soul.

Thank you – ten thousand times!!!!

Alcardilmë    Wednesday 9 September 2009, 23:01    #

I apologize that this is the first time I have left a note on this. Quite frankly early on when I saw what happened to our poor Faramir, I wasn’t sure my heart could take it and I had decided not to submerge myself. That being said, I have to tell you that I just couldnt help myself. This tale is just so wonderfully woven that I just cant let it go. I keep coming back again and again hoping our Faramir will be whole again. I have a great visual in my head of the happenings here and it keeps calling me back. Thank you for this. Based on what I see here I find it difficult to see anyone rejecting your material. Is this story on this site somewhere? Can we read it?

— Kelly    Wednesday 9 September 2009, 23:52    #

Like Kelly, I was rather wary of getting involved with the characters in this tale. I first saw it on HASA. The rape and torture of dear Faramir are quite difficult for me to endure. (I must admit to reading those parts quite quickly, with one eye closed!) The rest of the story, however, is so skillfully told and the love between the brothers is so achingly beautiful that it touches my heart.

— trixie    Thursday 10 September 2009, 0:55    #

Thanks so much, Kelly, for your review. It is beautiful. This came out of a nightmare I had; I could not sleep afterwards until I had written it down. Then, the Muse just continued – bless her! It turned into a bitter-sweet little thing that breaks my heart.

Very glad you pushed through that first chapter. It is difficult.

My other tale is posted here http://www.faramirfiction.com/Fiction/betrayed

Blessings,
Alcardilme

Alcardilmë    Thursday 10 September 2009, 10:50    #

Ah, trixie, I wrote that first chapter with my eyes closed. I hated the things that happened to Faramir. He will heal, with the help of Boromir, but Boromir never will. Life can be like that sometimes.

I love your phrase ‘achingly beautiful’ – it well describes what is in my heart about their relationship.

Bless you for your kind words. They are most appreciated!

Alcardilmë    Thursday 10 September 2009, 10:56    #

I checked out Betrayed. I thought it sounded familiar. I did read it when it was posted. I liked it very much. This story also made my stomach hurt in the beginning but I couldn’t keep from reading on. I guess there is always someone that is not going to like everything. You write beautifully and the rest of us enjoy your work very much.

— Kelly    Thursday 10 September 2009, 14:36    #

Many thanks, Kelly. Even though I have written for quite some years, this year has been a difficult one. I am glad the Muse has not abandoned me, and very glad I found this site. Very decent people here. Bless you!

Alcardilmë    Friday 11 September 2009, 9:47    #

This story has everything. Love, hate, terror and even happiness.
My heart aches for the trauma Faramir is going through and for Boromir who can’t, or rather won’t, give voice to what is troubling his heart.
The way you build up the chapters and when they end one can’t seem to stop think of what will happen next, that is a heard thing to accomplish, but you have mastered that.
I am forever grateful that you had the courage to write this story.
When my returning nightmares hunts me and I am to afraid to face them, I turn to this story and I can for a short time forget my own fears.
Thank you forever and ever.

— Ingrid    Sunday 20 September 2009, 10:22    #

Many thanks for your kind words! I am so grateful this story strikes a chord. After finally realizing what the Muse wanted from the nightmare, I could only succumb and write it.

Again Many Thanks!

Alcardilmë    Wednesday 23 September 2009, 20:53    #

Our poor, gentle and sweet Faramir.
He have so much to deal with. I hope that by telling what he has been forced to endure he will come to understand that love can be something nice. I also hope that he will finally be able to sleep through a night without terrors.
Even though it brakes his heart I am sure that Boromir never will leave him or blame him for what has happened.

— Ingrid    Friday 9 October 2009, 23:01    #

That chapter was incredibly difficult to read. I can only imagine what it must have been like to write. And I do not even want to imagine what it must have been like for Boromir to hear.

— trixie    Friday 9 October 2009, 23:47    #

Ah, Ingrid – though this is AU, Boromir will leave for Rivendell… it is written in the stars.
And Boromir’s love for Faramir is quite extraordinary. But so is Faramir, is he not!

Alcardilmë    Sunday 11 October 2009, 5:27    #

Many thanks for the support on this, Trixie. It was written because of a nightmare – and this is chapter is what I saw. Nasty – to say the least!
As for Boromir – how could a brother stand to hear, let alone bear, such things? Especially one who loves his little brother with his very being?

Alcardilmë    Sunday 11 October 2009, 5:31    #

I truly admire your courage in seeing this through to the end: I suspect that many writers would soften the story somehow. But most nightmares, by definition, don’t have happy endings, do they?

— ebbingnight    Wednesday 14 October 2009, 15:42    #

This nightmare was even worse. I did tone it down a bit, except for Chapter 15. I have no idea why I dreamt of Faramir and in such dire circumstances!

Many thanks for your review and your kind words.

Alcardilmë    Sunday 18 October 2009, 5:21    #

This tale is so harrowing that at times I need to turn away. Yet it is so gripping that I cannot. I almost feel obligated to Faramir, Boromir, and you to hear this out.

— trixie    Tuesday 10 November 2009, 22:43    #

Many thanks, trixie, for not running from this tale. The brothers love for each other compells me to continue to write this.

Your comments are most appreciated. Faramir and Boromir thank you too.

Alcardilmë    Friday 13 November 2009, 5:03    #

So sweet and wonderful. I love this story so much. Thank you for sharing it with the rest of us

— Ingrid    Friday 13 November 2009, 7:43    #

I think we all needed a wee bit of a break – a smile or some such. VERY thankful for your kind comments and for your continued support.

Alcardilmë    Monday 16 November 2009, 4:32    #

Of Course you have my support. I could never leave this story nor quitting comment it. You have taken this story to a whole new level. In the beginning I feared reading, like I knew what might happen. I think I have an idea now as well… but now I am anticipating :) It is a remarkable story and you are a fantastic writer

— Ingrid    Wednesday 18 November 2009, 11:48    #

Ingrid – thanks again for your comments. Always heartening to me.

I am afraid I might disappoint you – this tale is near its ending – it doesn’t end the way I thought it would. :(

Alcardilmë    Tuesday 24 November 2009, 19:51    #

Chapter 20 made me smile and even chuckle. Any joy they can experience is precious. But, oh, this latest chapter. . . Poor Boromir, willing to give anything of himself to help his brother.And poor, poor Faramir, realizing now what he has asked of his brother.
Caterwauling is perfect :)

— trixie    Wednesday 25 November 2009, 19:00    #

This was a heartbreaking chap. Poor Boromir and Faramir. I fought not to let tears appear, but I failed miserable.

Thank you so much Hugs

— Ingrid    Monday 30 November 2009, 12:48    #

Hi, Trixie, thanks for the kind words. When one loves deeply, one will do anything… and one will be asked sometimes beyond one’s capacity… the brothers are definitely tragic characters… even in Tolkien’s books.

Alcardilmë    Tuesday 1 December 2009, 21:00    #

Ah, Ingrid… this was difficult, wasn’t it? But Faramir is now ready to continue living, though the price Boromir paid for his brother’s healing is immeasurable… Thanks for your support!

Alcardilmë    Tuesday 1 December 2009, 21:03    #

This story was wonderful. What a strange feeling now that the story has ended. Poor Boromir. I loved how you got the title of the story into the story itself. You are a true artist in your work.
Alcardilmë, I salute you.
*Kneels in front of you, with my head bowed*

— Fëawen    Thursday 10 December 2009, 7:54    #

It’s a very strange feeling being done with this – as this, I think, is one of my favorites. Many thanks for your kind words. I kneel in thanks!

Alcardilmë    Wednesday 16 December 2009, 4:53    #

The brothers have never failed to touch me. Even during a time in my life when I felt numb to everything. their tale was able to cut through the fog and move me.

The description of this tale is one that at one time I never would have opened, especially with the word ‘incest’. But I am so glad I did! It was beautiful and wrenching and captured the depth of the selfless love and devotion between the two so beautifully. Thank you!

— trixie    Friday 18 December 2009, 5:57    #

Trixie – my deepest thanks. The brothers and their love is beyond endurance – whether it be slash or not. I loved Tolkien’s appendix note about their love. Self-less and deep as the sea. Bless you for commenting!

Alcardilmë    Sunday 20 December 2009, 4:42    #

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