Faramir Fiction Archive

Darkness and Light (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

11 August 2009 | 145537 words

Chapter 7

When they came the next morning Dorvane took Faramir alone, leaving Haldir behind in their rooms. The whole time Faramir was walking toward whatever cell they decided to use that day he worried about Haldir and how not knowing what was happening would affect him. Because Faramir knew how he would react if it were the other way around. He would be practically climbing the walls with worry.

As they entered the chamber and he saw all the different ‘toys’ that Dorvane loved so much he felt his stomach twist and prayed it would all be over quickly.

It wasn’t over quickly.

Hours later Faramir was dragged by two guards back to their rooms, his body bruised and bleeding as he was unceremoniously thrown in the door, much like the first day he’d met Haldir. He crumpled to his knees, his watery legs unable to hold him.

From the moment they’d taken Faramir, Haldir had paced the room like a caged animal. He’d fought them, tried to get them to take him instead of Faramir, but the guards had their orders and there was nothing he could do as he watched Faramir being dragged away.

It was the longest, most horrible day of his life.

When other prisoners had been taken, he’d felt for them, tended to them afterward, but this… Gods, this waiting and not knowing was far, far worse than anything they could possibly do to him.

Hours later, when the door opened, he practically flew across the room, catching Faramir just as his knees hit the floor. The guards withdrew, smirking, but Haldir paid them no mind as he wrapped his arms around his lover.

“You’re safe now. It’s over,” he murmured.

Faramir startled when strong arms wrapped around him and he almost pulled away in fear until he realized it was Haldir. His throat was raw from screaming and his mouth was dry but he licked his lips and took a painful breath. He couldn’t speak though, Gods, he couldn’t tell Haldir everything they had done to him. Dorvane saying he’d been remise in his treatment the last few days and making up for it today. The greatest shame of it was that the man had made him come more than once, forced it from him using the submission ring and toys and his body betrayed him. Just knowing he was back with Haldir helped more than anything could. “He is worn out now… he will not come for you today at least.”

Tears that had gathered behind Haldir’s eyes slipped free at Faramir’s softly spoken promise. “I would give anything if he had worn himself out on me instead of you,” he whispered, gently picking his lover up in his arms and cradling him close. He wasn’t sure what had been done or where he was injured – Dorvane liked to hurt both the obvious and the not-so-obvious places – so he moved as slowly and carefully as he could.

“I’ve kept the bath warm for you and heated the blankets for the bed, and I have plenty of tea and salve and…” Haldir sat down on the edge of the bed, still holding Faramir against him. He took a deep breath and tried to focus, knowing he needed to do what he could to help. “What did they do?”

When had been thinking that he did not deserve the love that Haldir had for him. But there was no mistaking what lay in worried blue eyes, love and concern and pain. “They…” his voice hitched and he shook his head as he tried to take a deep breath. “Probably no different than what they have done to others, probably even you,” he said after a moment. “I think a bath… it will sting but I’d like a bath, I feel… dirty everywhere. They used things and… Gods, I didn’t want to but… they made me…” he shut his eyes tight. “More than once they made me come, even through the submission ring, used it… and used all manner of things I’ve never even seen before. And… and I had to…” His words trailed off and he shook his head.

Haldir’s jaw clenched in anger at the guards and at Dorvane in particular as Faramir described what had been done to him. He was in an impossible position – either he killed Dorvane and his men and condemn his brothers to a lifetime of suffering or he sat here day after day and watched Faramir be tortured and used in ways he knew all too well. He stood on somewhat shaky legs and carried Faramir over to the bath; still pressing soft kisses against his skin. “The part where they made me… where I found release… was always the worst for me too,” he whispered. “I felt like my body wasn’t my own, that it betrayed me. But there is nothing you can do to stop it – it is natural and uncontrollable, and, despite their taunting, it is nothing to be ashamed of, Faramir.” He leaned over and dipped his fingers in the water, making sure it was still warm then lowered Faramir into the water.

Faramir nodded as Haldir spoke of his body betraying him. That was exactly how it felt. “I know… in my mind I know.” he shrugged.

When Haldir lowered him into the water, Faramir hissed, the welts on his back, thighs and buttocks stinging just as he thought they would. He closed his eyes against the pain of it, but grateful at the same time to wash away the sweat, semen and blood and the smell of them. His wrists were raw as were his ankles from the thing they’d had him tied over, and his groin ached from the lingering effects of the submission ring and the rough handling. “I…” he paused. “I need to wash my mouth out.” He said the words looking down at the water, embarrassed beyond anything else that he’d had to pleasure Dorvane with his mouth. It had sickened him, but the magic of that damned ring had made him want it, even though his mind rebelled against it all.

Haldir nodded sadly and pressed a kiss to Faramir’s forehead before standing and crossing over to the small table in the next room. He knew just how Faramir was feeling and was prepared to deal with that as well. Eight years is a long time to perfect salves and teas and experiment with herbs, and he’d prepared a special bundle of herbs he used to rinse his own mouth of the foul taste the guards left behind, and a strong mint tea to follow. He brought the tray with him and sat beside the bath offering the first tea, and then a larger cup to spit in. “This will help, then you can lay back and rest while I wash you.”

Faramir felt guilty for a moment as Haldir kissed his forehead. He shouldn’t touch him at all, not with him still stinking of them. He watched as Haldir left the room and returned with a tray and took the tea that was offered. Once he was finished rinsing his mouth several times he laid back against the side of the tub, groaning just a bit as the welts on his back reminded him again of his abuse. “I cannot fathom how anyone can derive pleasure from hurting someone just to do it,” he whispered and then looked up at Haldir. “This probably isn’t the worst they will ever do to me either… that is the horrible thing isn’t it? Waiting and wondering what next,” he whispered as his hands curled into fists under the water.

Haldir dipped a washcloth under the water and carefully began wiping Faramir’s face. “I wish I could tell you no, but… they are cruel and sadistic, and there seems to be no end to the pain they want to see us in.” The cloth was already turning red as he dipped it beneath the water again and gently wiped at Faramir’s neck and chest. “I thought some of the things they’d done to me were the lowest moments of my life, but that was nothing compared to knowing they were doing those things to you… and that I was helpless to stop them.” His voice caught in his throat and he placed the towel on the side of the bath and took his lover’s hand, slowly unfurling his clenched fingers. “I wish I had Saruman’s power, and I could heal you, or kill them with the wave of my staff, or… or something.”

Faramir frowned as he stared down at the water. “I had thought that you would feel that way when I left with them. Because I know how I felt when they took you and I was forced to lay in bed and pretend to be asleep,” he sighed and looked up at Haldir as his hand was caught in gentle Elven hands. “Gandalf always said if he had a son he would have chosen me… too bad I am not really his son and we would both be gone from this place,” Faramir said sadly.

Haldir’s fingertips traced invisible designs over Faramir’s hand as an idea began to form in his mind. Falling in love had been beyond both their control. It made things easier in some ways, knowing that loving hands and sweet kisses awaited them after their ‘games’, but Gods, it was worse to know and watch the one you love being taken away for Dorvane and his men to torture and rape. He was strong; he had withstood eight years of torture and abuse, but this, watching Faramir in so much pain, was tearing at his very soul.

Deciding to think on it later, when his lover slept, Haldir kissed each fingertip and tried to smile. “Gandalf would be horrified to learn what Saruman has turned into,” he said softly. “I think Gandalf would manage to defeat Saruman if he knew how black the old wizard’s heart has turned.” He slowly went back to his task of cleaning Faramir as he spoke, but noticed his lover still looked uncomfortable. “Where does it hurt worse?”

Faramir nodded in agreement when Haldir spoke of Gandalf being horrified by all this. He sighed and tried to offer a small smile. “No place really worse than another,” he whispered softly. They had taken him roughly but hadn’t caused him to bleed this time, thankfully, but they had drawn enough blood with the whip they used on him. “Everything just stings where the cuts are and bruises… my stomach is sore but I’ll be fine now that I’m back here with you.”

A small, sad smile touched Haldir’s lips. “Let’s get you dried off then and you can drink the tea while I apply the salve,” he said, helping Faramir to stand. Then we can curl up in bed and you can tell me more about all the life we can share after we escape this place… and when you get tired of talking, I will tell you about the talan we would have in Lothlórien… it could be our summer place.” He knew there would be no talan, no cottage – no life together, but held fast to the idea that the hope of such places might serve to make Faramir stronger.

Faramir’s smile brightened as Haldir spoke of a future for them, and he stood on somewhat steadier legs than before. He held tight to Haldir’s arm as he stepped out of the tub and soft towels were wrapped around him. He went to the bed and sat down gingerly as he waited for Haldir.

Haldir handed Faramir the tea and urged him to drink it as he began applying the salve to the cuts on his face and arms and the insides of his thighs. From the welts and cuts alone, he knew just what instruments had been used, and he knew they had shown Faramir no mercy that day. “When it was just me, I could accept this,” he murmured, setting the teacup down when his lover finished and helping him to lie on his stomach. “But no more. Not even for my brothers. We must find a way to get yo… to get out of this place.”

Faramir drank the tea as Haldir began to tend him with the salve on the front part of his body where he’d been whipped and then once he was finished rolled onto his stomach, feeling sore from the punches the guards had enjoyed giving him as he’d been tied. “There has to be a way,” Faramir whispered. “I know Saruman’s magic is strong but there has to be a way around it. No one is perfect, we just have to find the errors,” he whispered. He hissed a few times as particularly raw and sore welts were treated and finally settled into speaking of a future. “When we are free of this place I want to take you walking in the woods somewhere beautiful, just the two of us… outside. I know it has been less than a week since I have felt the breeze on my face or the sun on my skin but I’d like to give that to you Haldir, the sun and the stars… everything,” he whispered.

“Everything,” Haldir repeated as he pressed a kiss over one of the deeper welts that ran across Faramir’s lower back. For a moment, he let himself dream. “I want the stars to see us kiss, and the fog to wrap around us as we spend all night on the highest mountains making love, and the trees to protect us from the rain as I explore every perfect, beautiful inch of your body.” He finally finished and lay beside Faramir, resting one hand on the side of his face. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to the corner of his lover’s mouth. “Perhaps we can find a way to make you forget everything that has happened here.”

Faramir wasn’t sure if Haldir would want to kiss him despite having cleaned his mouth of Dorvane’s filth and looked down. “I know you may not want to kiss me now… after… after what happened but I do miss your kisses,” he whispered sadly. Now he understood why Haldir worried he would not want him after they had taken him the day before. Now Faramir understood completely.

Haldir’s thumb brushed over Faramir’s cheek and he gently turned his lover just enough so that they were facing, but no pressure was put on his injuries. “Meleth, I would want to kiss you even if you had licked a balrog’s toes,” he teased softly. “Or even if you had kissed that Gollum-creature for days on end, I would still long for your lips. Nothing will ever make me say no to any precious part of yourself you offer to me… I promise you that.”

Faramir found himself laughing which was such an odd thing in such a place wasn’t it? But it felt good to laugh and even better to be loved so much. “I think I’ll pass on both,” he grinned and leaned closer. “I love you, Haldir… I know it happened quickly but know that I am more sure of my love for you than I am of anything I’ve ever known,” he whispered as his lips gently brushed against his lover’s.

Gently wrapping his arms around Faramir, Haldir pulled him closer and simply kissed and nuzzled against soft lips and bath-warmed skin. “I love you, too,” he murmured, kissing his lover again before he could respond or think too much about his words. Their kisses deepened, and Haldir knew Faramir most likely would be thinking this was going to lead to more… which obviously he was in no shape to share at the moment. “Just kisses, guren,” he whispered, trying to get Faramir to relax against him. “Just kisses…”

Haldir’s words ‘just kisses’ touched Faramir more than they probably should have. He wanted of course to be with Haldir but the only thing they could share without pain at the moment were kisses. They carefully snuggled against one another, Haldir careful not to touch Faramir anywhere it may hurt, and Faramir grateful for the care that his lover took with him. “One day we will be in a place without pain and we can share everything with each other anytime we want,” Faramir whispered softly, certain that one day they would somehow escape.

The golden Elf closed his eyes and buried his face in Faramir’s hair as he smiled sadly. Gods, if only that where true! If only they could be together in such a place, in such a time. Rather than dash Faramir’s hopes, however, he simply pulled the blankets snug around them, careful to keep it from hitting Faramir’s back and nodded. “Now… tell me more about this library in Gondor…”

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