Faramir Fiction Archive

Darkness and Light (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

11 August 2009 | 145537 words

Chapter 19

Weeks passed by as usual for Haldir and Dorvane with fewer visits from Saruman’s captains, apparently they were busier with the war than ever. It was a rainy morning and Dorvane handed out assignments in the doorway of their chambers, simply telling the guards what needed to be done that day and returned to their bedroom shortly after. When he stepped into the doorway of the room, Haldir was lying on the bed; the sheet just draped over half his body and a long leg was uncovered from upper thigh to toes. Dorvane simply watched him sleeping for a few moments before crossing the room and lightly running his hand up the exposed leg as he sat down on the bed. So beautiful and so kind… you are truly a wonder to me. He leaned down slowly and brushed his lips gently against closed eyelids and down his cheeks to soft slightly parted lips. “Time to wake up my sleepy Elf,” he whispered softly.

Haldir’s eyes fluttered open and he smiled as gentle fingers and soft lips moved over his skin. He was surprised to see Dorvane there. Normally, he woke as soon as his lover got out of bed and sent him on his way with lingering kisses or a final few minutes together in bed.

Stretching like a cat that had been napping in the sun for hours, Haldir wrapped his arm around Dorvane’s shoulders and closed his eyes as the sweet kisses moved down to his neck. “Mmmmm… I must have overslept,” he murmured, simply enjoying lying there and not having to move. “Have I made you late?”

Dorvane smiled as his fingers ran through soft hair and he looked up from the neck he was kissing to look into sleepy eyes. “No, I am already finished for the day. There is nothing to do… all of Saruman’s army is occupied so I gave my guards their orders for the day and decided to return here to you. I think that I can come up with much better ways the two of us can spend our day… though it seems you would like to spend it sleeping,” he teased as he watched Haldir still trying to wake up. “Do you think perhaps I can give you something you would really like to wake up for?”

Though the idea of sleeping all day didn’t seem like a bad one at all, Haldir stretched again and let his hand trail down Dorvane’s stomach and between his legs. The Elf’s sex was growing hard already, and he had to admit that now, since he understood and cared for Dorvane, he did enjoy sharing his body in all the ways he could. His fingers moved over his lover’s already stiff flesh and he leaned up, running his tongue over the lips that had been kissing him so sweetly. “I think you might have just what the healer ordered,” he grinned, finally beginning to wake up as the idea became more appealing to him. “I’m glad you stayed, Dorvane. You work too much.”

The gentle hand against his sex made it grow harder instantly, and Dorvane couldn’t help but shift his hips a little. “And you worry too much,” Dorvane teased as he pressed his lips against Haldir’s again. He gasped when the Elf’s hand wrapped more fully around him and moved so that his own hand could slip between them and slowly stroke his lover’s growing arousal.

Haldir moaned at the touch and shifted his own hips as well. “Hmmm… I think I have definitely found something worth waking up for…” As he spoke, he lay back and pulled Dorvane on top of him. Lifting his head from the pillow, he sealed their lips together and kissed his lover soundly, leaving no doubt that he was, indeed, awake.

Dorvane found himself fully atop the Elf a moment later and he moaned into the deep kiss. Haldir’s kisses always made him forget everything for that tiny moment of time. His hips shifted and he settled between long, lean legs and smiled when they pulled away to breathe. “Mmm, good morning indeed,” he whispered as he reached for the bottle of oil on the nightstand. Before Haldir he never prepared a slave himself but this was different they were lovers now, in almost every sense of the word in fact… except that Haldir didn’t love him. Dorvane brushed that thought away as he slicked his fingers and reached between them. Haldir was still slick from their activities the night before but he had promised to never cause him pain again and so his fingers slipped into the heat of his lover’s body, preparing him gently as his lips came down against Haldir’s again.

Haldir’s legs parted even further and his hands moved over Dorvane’s back and arms, enjoying the way smooth skin played over hard muscles. Deepening the kiss, he began rocking his hips slowly, driving the gently delving fingers in deeper each time. Finally, he pulled away, loving the fact that Dorvane never once had tried to take him unless he was completely prepared now that their relationship had changed, but needing to feel more than fingers inside him now. “Dorvane please,” he murmured, biting lightly at his lover’s neck and jaw. “I want you inside me.”

In all the years since Saruman had found him, Dorvane had never thought he would enjoy the act of foreplay so much as he did now. It was a heady feeling making your lover want more and more and as his fingers were gripped tightly in his lover’s body he felt his sex twitch. “Yes, Gods yes,” he murmured as Haldir spoke, feeling heat flood through his body. Lifting himself up to support his weight on one arm, Dorvane slicked his shaft quickly and then lined himself up to push forward slowly. It was always a tight fit, the Elf’s body molding around his own like a glove and he had to bit his lower lip just to keep control of himself.

Long legs wrapped around Dorvane’s waist as Haldir’s body opened up to the thick flesh that slowly disappeared inside him. He could feel every vein, every ridge as his lover slid forward, and, as always, he marveled at the fact that this was the same man who had strapped him over a table and raped him until he bled too many times to count. No, he thought as his back arched up off the bed and their eyes met as Dorvane pushed in that final inch. This wasn’t the same man at all. His calves pressed against Dorvane’s backside, pushing him in impossibly deeper, and the Elf moaned softly as his body adjusted and finally accepted the invasion. “By the Valar,” he murmured, rocking his hips slowly, “feels so good…”

Dark eyes gazed into brilliant blue ones for a moment as Dorvane thrust forward until he was flush against his lover. Haldir’s body was perfect, always had been, and the feeling of him wrapped around him, arms, legs, and clenching muscles was incredible. He stilled himself, using every ounce of willpower he could not to just start thrusting wildly into Haldir and when the Elf moved he gasped and nodded in agreement. “It does,” he whispered. “Gods, it does.” He moved slowly, lazily almost. Most times their couplings were fast and sweaty affairs really but not today. Today was lazy and slow and beautiful just like the day was outside. Dorvane’s lips caressed the tender skin of Haldir’s neck, nipping once in a while as he moved lower to the juncture of his shoulder. He never said the words ‘I love you’ very often because he knew they would never be returned but he thought them now more than ever.

Haldir closed his eyes and smiled as Dorvane moved over and inside him, giving as much pleasure as he was taking. The friction of skin on skin, this time smooth and warm, soft and gentle, was like floating on a cloud. It was not only the need between their legs that was satisfied as each gave the other what he craved, touching and kissing, nibbling and licking at all the right places each knew his lover enjoyed.

The friction of Dorvane’s stomach as he moved slowly over him made Haldir shiver with pleasure and he gasped each time the swollen tip Dorvan’s cock brushed over his sweet spot. “Yes, Dorvane, just like that,” he murmured, kneading the globes of his lover’s backside. “Right there… that’s it…”

Haldir’s reactions to him seemed to drive Dorvane’s need even higher. He was admittedly obsessed with this Elf, he had been for years now and that obsession had grown to love, making what he felt now with him all the more powerful. They shared in one another, neither taking but giving to each other, and it was the most wonderful thing he had ever felt. His hand traveled down Haldir’s body, caressing and gently toying with each nipple before traveling lower. Leaning to the side slightly, Dorvane’s hand slipped between them even as he continued to rock his hips into his lover and his hand wrapped around the hard shaft between them. His thumb rubbed over the tip teasingly with each stroke. “Yes… that’s it,” he whispered as Haldir tipped his head back into the pillow obviously enjoying what he was doing.

Questing fingers moved up and grabbed Dorvane’s shoulders as Haldir writhed beneath him, all thoughts of sleep long gone as Man and Elf moved together. Already tight inner muscles worked at the flesh inside him, clenching and unclenching as sheathed himself again and again, each deep thrust in perfect counterpart to the movements of the firm hand on his cock. Looking up with half-lidded eyes, he smiled as Dorvane’s handsome face darkened, his lips swollen and red, his cheeks flushed, his hair falling all around his face and shoulders as he gazed down at his Elven lover. “Coming,” Haldir moaned, thrusting his hips down as Dorvane thrust up and arching his back completely up off the bed. His cock pulsed between them and he spilled over his chest and stomach, then as Dorvane thrust again, another spurt of his seed covered the still stroking hand that was wrapped around him.

It was perfect and slow and unlike anything Dorvane had ever experienced, even when he was younger and with his lover years ago. This was something else entirely, for him this was what people spoke of when they spoke of making love. He’d thought that ridiculous for many years but now here he was experiencing it. When Haldir looked up at him, his face flushed and beautiful, ecstasy shining in his eyes as he moaned and his body tightened around Dorvane’s. Gods it was a beautiful sight coupled with that and the feeling of already tight muscles milking him as Haldir found his release, Dorvane followed soon after. His entire body tensed for a moment as he succumbed to his release and trembled in his lover’s arms. “Gods what you do to me, Haldir,” he whispered as his lips brushed against soft Elven ones and he relaxed against his lover to catch his breath.

Haldir sighed contentedly and pressed a kiss to Dorvane’s temple, letting his hands soothe and relax, enjoying the weight of his lover resting over him. He was thankful beyond words that Dorvane seemed to enjoy this as much – or, more, really – than the mindless, cruel rapes and terrible games he used to play before. “You know me well, Dorvane,” he murmured, letting his nails scratch lightly over broad shoulders. “You know all the right places to touch and kiss and nibble at, and just how and when to do more. I think you must have been taking notes…”

Laughing softly, Dorvane reached to the nightstand again to retrieve a small towel and cleaned his hand and then Haldir’s stomach and chest. “Perhaps I was… I love seeing you come,” he whispered honestly and carefully shifted his hips and slipped from inside his lover to settle beside him. “Once we catch our breath perhaps you’d like breakfast with me?” he suggested as he leaned on his elbow looking down at Haldir.

Smiling and snuggling close, Haldir nodded and fought the urge to close his eyes again. “Aye, breath and breakfast,” he sighed, wrapping himself around Dorvane, stealing his warmth, as he always seemed to do these last weeks. “Some warm tea would be nice. And toast. And maybe some of that honey we had yesterday, though this time perhaps we should eat it rather than… what we did do with it…” He pulled away and mock-glared at his lover. “I still feel quite sticky in places that should not feel that way, you know.”

Dorvane wrapped his arms around Haldir and held him as his breathing began to even out again and found himself laughing. He gave Haldir his most innocent look (which was saying a lot for a man like him) and shrugged. “I am sorry… perhaps I can help bathe you and make sure there is not any lingering ‘stickiness’ anywhere… I could start here,” he said licking at Haldir’s ear, “and work my way down… or would you rather have me draw a bath instead?”

Haldir shivered so hard his toes curled as he nuzzled against Dorvane’s neck. “No baths,” he murmured. “I think your first idea will take care of the problem rather nicely…”

Dorvane laughed softly against the skin of Haldir’s neck and licked down to his shoulder. He shifted on the bed and raised himself with one arm as he began to slowly lick down his lover’s chest to tease his nipples with his tongue, but then suddenly a sharp, agonizing pain shot through his arms concentrated at his wristbands. He barely managed to scream in pain before he collapsed on top of his lover and then instinctively rolled to his side where he curled in on himself. It was absolute agony that he felt, as if his arms were being ripped open by ravenous wolves.

Blue eyes were closed in pleasure as Dorvane licked at Haldir, and the only sound in the room the Elf’s sigh of pleasure as that wicked tongue teased and soothed. It seemed like only a moment later that Dorvane screamed, however, and fell on him, then pulled away just as suddenly. Without thinking, Haldir wrapped his arms around the man and held him tightly, not sure if he was helping or making matters worse, only knowing that whatever was wrong had something to do with those damnable bands around his lover’s wrists and Saruman. “Dorvane, breathe,” he whispered against Dorvane’s hair. “Tell me what to do.”

Writhing in pain as Haldir wrapped his arms around him and Dorvane looked up into concerned blue eyes as he felt the pain shoot through him again. He hadn’t even realized he was holding his breath until the Elf whispered to breathe. He took a shuddering breath, crying out again as pain raced through his body and he shook his head. “Something… has happened,” he said barely managing the words through clenched teeth. “Gods… oh Gods, I think something may be happening with Saruman…” he felt the blood welling around the bands at his wrists and looked up at Haldir with true fear shining in his eyes. “I think…” he screamed again, his body arching against Haldir’s as more blood began to run from his wrists. “I think he is dead… and I soon will be.”

Haldir shook his head and pushed away the thought of Dorvane dying. Things had changed so much between them in the past weeks. Haldir had seen his lover struggle against Saruman’s darkness time and time again and he finally felt he knew the real man inside. For reasons he couldn’t even explain yet, he didn’t want to loose that man… yet he was dying in Haldir’s very arms. It never even crossed his mind that Dorvane’s death might in some way mean his own freedom. “If Saruman is indeed dead, then I couldn’t be happier,” the Elf said through gritted teeth as he released Dorvane long enough to grab the sheet and tear it into strips which he used to wrap snugly around Dorvane’s bleeding wrists where the bands ended. “But you, Dorvane, you are not going to die. You have to fight against this… please.”

The pain in his arms was almost blinding now and Dorvane thought that the bandages Haldir was making were a waste of time. “I cannot fight it, Haldir. You should leave,” he said though he was physically unable to push the Elf away from him. “Just go. Obviously you are free, if he is dead you are free to go. Just go… and let me die. I always knew I would… I wanted to that night so long ago, this is fate just catching up with me.” He started to pull his hand away from Haldir, thinking that it was simply no good to try to stop the flow of blood when suddenly he felt as if the skin was being ripped from his arms. The seam that ran down the center on the bands had sprung open and so was his skin beneath it, worse than the wounds he had inflicted on himself 17 years ago. He knew in that moment, Saruman was truly dead.

The bandages were soaking through as quickly as Haldir could wrap them. Dorvane’s words made his heart ache and his eyes fill with tears. He had no intention of leaving, especially with Dorvane in such agony. Instead, he reached behind him to the nightstand for the small dagger Dorvane kept there, then simply lay down beside his lover and pulled him close. Pressing a soft kiss to Dorvane’s sweat-damp forehead he shook his head. “Hush… I’m not leaving you. I’ll do as I did before and again to give you strength until we figure out how to stop this. But I am not letting you die.”

Dorvane thought his teeth might simply grind to dust as the pain lanced through him in waves. When he saw what Haldir was doing, when he saw the dagger he began to shake his head weakly, the blood loss making him dizzy. “No…you cannot, Haldir it is too late. It is already too late… my life was bound to Saruman’s… please, do not do this, you should escape this place,” his last words were weak as he stared at the Elf he had miraculously fallen in love with and now at the end… he could do the only selfless thing he had done in years… allow Haldir to leave.

As Haldir look into pain-filled eyes, he realized that perhaps he had changed as much as Dorvane had. Where there was so much anger and hatred before, there was nothing but compassion and sorrow and… something else. The very thought of doing as Dorvane asked – of leaving him here to die, even if it meant he could return to Faramir – was not even an option. He simply couldn’t do it. Reaching behind his lover, the Elf dug the tip of the knife into his wrist and watched only as long as it took to reassure himself that he was bleeding freely. “Look at you, Dorvane,” he whispered, squeezing his hand so the blood would flow faster, and doing his best to take Dorvane’s mind off the pain, “you say you love me, but you keep telling me to leave. Are you tired of looking at me already?”

The pain lanced through him yet again and Dorvane bit his lip to keep from moaning with it. “No… I just… I would think that you would be glad for this… your chance to be free after so long. I am too weak to stop you, the guards are Saruman’s slaves too, they will likely be dying as well. No one could stop you. But… no… I do not wish to die alone,” he said softly and winced in pain. “I realize that I love you enough… to let you go now.”

The knife blade sliced open another vein on Haldir’s arm as Dorvane spoke. “Oh gods… No, I never wanted… not like this.” Haldir’s free hand, now bloodied with both his own as well as his lover’s blood brushed damp hair back from the forehead he had just kissed moments before. There was no denying what he was feeling now, though he could only pray to the Valar that he wasn’t too late in realizing it. He loved Faramir, and he always would but… he was in love with Dorvane and wanted a life with him – whatever the cost. His blood wasn’t doing much, that was clear, so there was only one other thing he could think of to do. “You have to fight, because we are just getting started, you and I. With Saruman dead, we can leave this place together… and be together. I love you, Dorvane. I think I have for a long while now.”

Dorvane winced when he saw Haldir cut himself again, dark rivulets of blood pouring across pale skin just as his own was doing. It was a useless effort and Dorvane tried to tell him as much but the words stuck in his throat when the Elf continued. be together the words echoed in his mind and then his breath caught and the pain that was making it almost unbearable to even blink suddenly faded just the slightest bit. “You… you love me? How could you possibly…” his words trailed off and he wished he could pull Haldir close, he wished he could touch him… he wished for so much that was not possible now and never would be again. “You can’t.”

Knowing Dorvane wouldn’t agree to what he had in mind, Haldir smiled and carefully switched the knife to his now injured hand. He caught and held his lover’s gaze, hoping to make the next cut unnoticed, but he too was now getting weak from loss of blood. The only possible way Dorvane could live after being under Saruman’s influence for so long would be intervention by the Valar. And the quickest way to speak to the Valar was to see them face to face. As the blade dug into a new vein, Haldir did his best to smile. “I can and I do. So you have to fight… fight so we can have a life together, Dorvane. No matter what happens to me, you just have to keep fighting.”

Growing weaker by the moment, Dorvane tried to shake his head but it hardly moved at all. He was starting to struggle for breath and too surprised by Haldir’s admission to think straight. Part of him couldn’t believe it at all but Haldir did not seem to be lying and what reason would he have for lying now about this? Trying to plant the seeds of hope perhaps but why would he do that to a man who had formerly been horrid to him? He couldn’t imagine that the last several months could erase all the pain of the years before.

“Nothing will happen to you, love,” Dorvane said senselessly, not realizing that Haldir was not only bleeding for him and trying to lessen the pain but doing something more dangerous. This was insane was it? Haldir loved the Ranger not him, maybe he was hallucinating? The blood loss was becoming too much though and he began to fade in and out of consciousness wondering when he would fade out completely to never wake again.

Keen Elven sight was slowly fading to a hazy fog as Haldir, too, began slipping away. Gathering all his strength, he closed the small gap between them and placed the softest of kisses against his lover’s lips. “Just promise me you’ll fight for as long as you can, Dorvane. If you truly love me at all, you have to do this. I’m going to do everything I can do get you through this, but if you don’t fight… we will both die.” Slowly, Haldir let his head rest back on his pillow and watched Dorvane fading in and out. “Give us a chance. Please.”

Haldir’s words made little sense to him, how they could both die made not sense at all but he did love the Elf and he would do anything for him. Haldir had not realized how much Dorvane would have done for him. If he at any time had asked to be released, in these last weeks, as Saruman’s hold on him had grown weaker and his love for Haldir had grown he had realized that he would have let Haldir go without a single protest. He pursed his lips against his lover’s weakly and sighed. “I do not want to lose you…” it was the most he could offer as weak as he was.

A slight smile touched Haldir’s lips as he gazed into Dorvane’s eyes for what might be the last time. He’d already lost one love, and he simply wasn’t going to lose another, not like this. Moments later, he passed into unconsciousness, his arms wrapped tightly around Dorvane’s weakened body and praying to the Valar with everything in him that they would hear his plea.

Dorvane had slipped into the abyss as soon as Haldir had but somewhere a light that had been dark for so long deep inside of the man Haldir was holding flickered. His life had taken so many dark turns over the years and he had done unspeakable things while under the evil influence of Saruman’s dark magic but inside Dorvane that tiny light had laid dormant. That part of his soul that only wished for love and happiness that had been taken from him so many years ago. It had been flickering to life these last months and only now without the influence of dark magic, at the end of his life, it seemed to surge within him. It was all he had left, all he could offer Haldir’s pleas to keep fighting. All the honor and decency he had once had, had all been coming back to life in the last year with Haldir and now, even though Dorvane was not awake and aware, his soul felt the love of the one person who had no reason to love him. He struggled to take a breath and then another, his body not giving up now that his soul had something so precious to cling to.

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