Faramir Fiction Archive

Darkness and Light (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

11 August 2009 | 145537 words

Chapter 14

Weeks passed by and Haldir healed and Dorvane for the most part had continued to be somewhat gentle with Haldir. Some of their couplings since Haldir had finished healing had been fast or rough but no toys were involved, nothing like what Dorvane had treated Haldir like as a slave. But there were times when Dorvane thought that it could have been so much more satisfying to have that control and power with Haldir he had always had before. Sometimes he missed the Elf fighting him, though he truly loved the way the Elf touched him in return now but he missed that passion and spirit that the fighting always seemed to bring out. He didn’t know that he could enjoy such soft sweet touches though, so he had been torn over what to do.

Tonight he planned to try something; it wouldn’t be anything like the things he’d done to Haldir in the past. No tables or special apparatus, just a means of controlling him, Dorvane thought, just a bit of fun for them both. He would make absolutely certain Haldir would be in no real pain and would certainly enjoy it. So when he’d returned to his room that evening and found Haldir waiting for him, he decided that he had every right to do it. It was part of their agreement, Haldir had said so himself. It wasn’t as if he wanted to make the Elf bleed… just redden his backside and make sure he remembered him during the day when Dorvane was gone.

Haldir put the book he’d been reading down and stood to greet Dorvane as he walked in the door. He’d been granted full access to the small library Dorvane, surprisingly, had kept rather well stocked, and though the Elf was seldom seen without a book in his hand, in reality, he spent most of his days staring out the window, thinking about Faramir. The moment Dorvane entered the room, however, all thoughts of his Ranger were tucked neatly away and Haldir could not have been a better, more well mannered companion or a more attentive lover to the man. He would take no chances with Faramir’s life, no matter what he had to do.

Haldir crossed the room and gave Dorvane his customary welcome-back kiss – a little concession Dorvane always seemed surprised, but pleased with. His hands moved down to massage broad shoulders and he sensed the usual stress in tensed muscles. “Long day?” he asked softly. “I have water for our bath heating now, but if you had rather relax first or… let me see if I can distract you, the bath can wait…”

Dorvane had still not grown accustomed to the kiss that Haldir gave him each day that he returned to their chambers as if the Elf were truly happy to see him. It had been a frustrating day and he thought that perhaps his plan for tonight might alleviate some of that frustration. “The bath can wait…” Dorvane answered as his arms wrapped around Haldir and pulled his body closer for only a moment before drawing back and unfastening Haldir’s tunic, he made quick work of it and his own and then began removing the Elf’s breeches. His mouth moved along the tender skin of Haldir’s neck and shoulders as he began to move them both toward the large bed. Before Haldir could lie down on it though, Dorvane drew back and spun him, pushing him down onto the side of the bed face first. “Perfect,” he murmured as his hand ran down Haldir’s spine to his backside. “Stay that way,” he added as he stepped away to get something.

There was a difference in Dorvane that evening, and Haldir sensed it at once. His stomach began to knot as he realized he knew that look – though it wasn’t the dark, cruel look he’d worn when he’d beat and raped Haldir and the other slaves, neither was it the gentle, almost caring look he’d had since Faramir’s departure and Haldir’s falling into his part. Biting the inside of his cheek, the Elf’s face paled and he realized just how vulnerable he was, naked, his backside high in the air, forbidden and unwilling to put up the least resistance. So many weeks without physical pain had been unexpected, but now, obviously that little gift was about to be taken away. His fingers curled in the blankets and he stayed perfectly still, waiting for the first blow or the quick, painful insertion of something… or Dorvane’s length to pierce him without any preparation. Just like old times, he thought. Just like old times.

Dorvane glanced back over at Haldir as he searched for what he wanted. He looked absolutely gorgeous that way, his back arched perfectly, his backside high in the air. He found what he was looking for and returned to the bed. A small paddle and two lengths of soft material, they were nothing like the rough ropes or iron shackles used in the past. These were soft and would likely not leave marks on the Elf’s pale skin that would last beyond a few hours and the paddle was light, it would make his backside a nice bright red but would only leave him sore for about a day or so. “You look so beautiful laying there like this waiting for my touch,” he whispered as he leaned over his lover. His lips traveled down Haldir’s back and he breathed in the scent of him as he closed his eyes for a moment. Leaning away from Haldir, Dorvane reached for his hand and pulled it out to the side looping the soft fabric around his wrist and attaching it to the headboard and then moved to do the other arm as well. When he looped the fabric around the other wrist though, he caught Haldir’s gaze from beneath a few strands of golden hair and paused at what he saw and what he felt when he looked at him.

Disappointment. That was what Haldir felt most of all. He’d resigned himself to doing anything and everything Dorvane wanted, sometimes doing things to him that he’d only heard the elder, more experienced Elves speak of, and had honestly thought Dorvane had enjoyed their activities enough not to need the added element of pain. There was no healing spell on these rooms, and he had no idea just how badly he was to be hurt today, but Gods, he would never understand why Dorvane found pleasure in hurting him! When their gazes met, Haldir quickly looked away and lowered his eyes. “Do you want me to scream as I did in the play rooms, or shall I try to keep silent?” he asked, the smile on his face now a poor imitation of the one he’d greeted his lover with only moments before. He had no right to complain, he knew. This was their agreement. This was his life.

Staring at Haldir, unable to know exactly how to answer his questions Dorvane lowered his arm back to the bed. He didn’t want him to scream. He realized it suddenly that he didn’t want Haldir to be in pain, he wanted him to touch him and want him in return and doing this now… doing this would make it all the harder for the Elf to want to do those things and most of all… Dorvane’s eyes widened for a moment and he stepped back away from the bed and then reached over and untied Haldir. He brushed the paddle off into the floor and pulled the Elf up into his arms as he sat down. He felt something for this Elf he never thought he would ever feel again. It had always been want, obsession; but now… after having laughed for the first time in years so often the last weeks with Haldir… after actually enjoying his evenings instead of brooding alone at night. He… was it love? Was he in love with the Elf and not just obsessed with him? Dorvane swallowed hard and closed his eyes as he held the confused Elf against him. “Forgive me… forgive me, please,” he whispered.

Shocked into speechlessness as, rather than being beaten, he was immediately released, Haldir soon found himself curled up in Dorvane’s lap, looking helplessly at the man as he begged forgiveness. It took the Elf a moment to respond, for he had never been in this sort of situation… never even dreamt of it. His arms, which he’d drawn up to his chest when he was released, slowly opened and wrapped around Dorvane’s shoulders, and one hand moved lightly over his back, still unsure if this was a test or a trick or even if he was supposed to be lulled into relaxation only to have a jolt from the submission ring suddenly double him over in agony. “Dorvane, I…” When the man pulled him closer, he gently began stroking long, dark hair. Gods, if he’d done something wrong to make Dorvane change his mind, if Faramir was punished for his moment of weakness as their eyes had met…“Please, Dorvane, I was not complaining. It is your right to hurt me; we agreed on that. It is I who should ask forgiveness for forgetting my place.” He tried to move, but Dorvane wouldn’t release him. “Tie me up, like you planned, I was just… surprised. Come, you can use the other ropes to tie my legs and use something other than the paddle. I know how much you used to like that dark leather belt or the black flogger you used to use… shall I get them for you?”

Haldir seemed in a panic now and Dorvane felt his heart sink as he shook his head. “Shh, please Haldir,” he whispered. “I… I do not wish to tie you up, it… I am sorry. I know I must be confusing you… if it helps, I am confused myself. I just… could not do it. When I thought about it, when I looked into your eyes… I want you to want me Haldir and beating you certainly isn’t going to achieve that now is it?” Dorvane said and gently tucked a lock of blond hair behind a pointed ear. “I realized I do not want to hurt you because… because I like the way you make me feel… when I am kind to you. I… I did not know I was still capable of feeling what I feel when I look at you… but it is true,” he said softly.

Rather than make him feel better, Haldir was only more confused, but at least it didn’t seem Faramir was to be punished. Could this good and kind side of Dorvane truly have feelings for him, feelings that prevented him from causing pain and enjoying the torture of the Elf he claimed as his personal slave? His hand moved tentatively from Dorvane’s hair to the side of his face. No matter how cruel or hateful he had been, Dorvane had always been a handsome man. If he could put aside all the memories – one in particular – then Dorvane was an easy man to want.

Remembering his place once more, he let his fingers stroke lightly over Dorvane’s face, brushing against the coarse stubble of hair on his chin. “I like it when you are kind to me,” he confessed. “And I am glad to know that you do still have feelings. Sometimes, I worried that you had buried them so deeply, they would never surface again.” Like mine. Pushing that thought away, Haldir leaned forward and pressed his lips against Dorvane’s. “Thank you, Dorvane. I have never liked the pain; it has always taken away the pleasure for me, not added to it. Thank you for this mercy, at least for today.” With that, he tilted Dorvane’s face up and kissed him fully on the mouth, his lips parting and his tongue licking gently at Dorvane’s, his hand resting on the back of the man’s neck.

When Haldir took in what he had to say and then kissed him that way, thanking him and admitting that he never liked the pain, Dorvane was lost then. A tender feeling inside him seemed to overwhelm him for a moment; it was something he had not felt in many years. Love. Not lust, desire or obsession it was love. He was not a loving man any longer but with this Elf he could be someone he was not to the rest of the world. Their kiss made him breathless and when he drew away he smiled a little at Haldir. “You have done something I thought impossible. I have fallen in love with you, Haldir. I do not have some grand notion that you will fall for me though it is my greatest desire… but I also know from experience you cannot make someone love you.” He paused and ran his fingers through soft blond hair and looked down for a moment. “I know you probably do not believe me, you probably think this is a trick to make you do something… but it is not. I worried when I first agreed to this that you might try to kill me in my sleep or any number of things… but you have not. You have been… wonderful. And… and I would like to offer you a gift… to show you that I mean what I say.”

Bittersweet memories of the first time Faramir said he loved him raced through Haldir’s head, but his overriding emotion was shock at Dorvane’s admission. He… loved him? A slave, a whore, a broken Elf who was only here because he loved another? Again, Haldir almost felt sorry for Dorvane, and wondered what it was that had turned him into the man he’d known for the past eight years, rather than the kind and gentle man he had been inside these bed chambers the past weeks. His fingers combed through Dorvane’s hair and he shook his head, both in bewilderment and curiosity. He had no idea how to respond to the “I love you” part, but the gift… he could at least address that. “You… you owe me no gifts, Dorvane,” he whispered, the hand on the back of the man’s neck slowly kneading the still tense muscles. “In fact, you owe me nothing. You have been kind to me these past weeks when you did not have to, and that is the best gift you could have given me.” Except my freedom of course.

Dorvane looked into Haldir’s eyes and smiled a little. “Often times when someone loves another they give them a ring as a symbol of that love… in your case… I shall remove a ring that I know you hate and offer a promise that you will never again know physical pain of any sort by my hand or any other who works for me… not even Saruman, I would find a way to destroy that wizard if he laid a single finger on you with intent to harm you, Haldir,” he whispered. It had been many years since he had felt like this and in fact loving someone was why Dorvane had become the man he had, now it didn’t seem to matter as much.

Haldir’s mouth dropped open as he looked into Dorvane’s eyes. His hand automatically dropped down between his legs and cupped his balls, careful not to touch the submission ring, certain that he had not heard correctly. Gods, he hated that ring, hated it almost as much as he hated this entire situation. One moment of pain from the ring was worse than a hundred lashes with a belt, for the ring’s pain was internal, and concentrated on the most sensitive parts of his body. “You… you will remove the ring?” he repeated slowly. “And… not hurt me or allow anyone else to?” He shook his head, trying to clear it, and moved his hand back up to rest on Dorvane’s chest. “You are a young man Dorvane. Can you honestly commit to spending the rest of your life causing me no pain, or are you just caught up in the moment? For… I cannot take teasing like this. Please… please only say it if you mean it.”

The look of surprise and hope in Haldir’s eyes was actually more than worth removing the ring, Dorvane realized. He had plenty of other slaves to punish should he need to… it was after all his job as appointed by Saruman but the wizard never said he couldn’t be kind to his lover whomever that was. “I am not teasing you, lay down so I can take it off you. I promise this is not a trick… and I will never again hurt you, Haldir. You have my solemn vow. I know you think I have no honor but at one time… at one time I was an honorable man,” he said softly and actually feeling the weakness of tears gather in his eyes for the briefest of moments before he blinked them away.

Pausing for a moment, Haldir cupped Dorvane’s face between both his hands and gazed into his eyes. “I think there is still an honorable man somewhere inside you,” he said softly… and to his surprise, truthfully. “I can see him right now, looking back at me.” He crawled off Dorvane’s lap and sat on the bed beside him, still unable to fully comprehend that this ring, which admittedly had not been used in weeks, but had plagued him for years, would finally be removed. His fingers trailed down the handsome face before him once more and he smiled. “Thank you, Dorvane. I will never forget this kindness.” With that, he lay back on the bed, his stomach clenching as he waited, wanting nothing more (except Faramir of course) than to be free of the submission ring and all its power.

Seeing the honesty in Haldir’s eyes made Dorvane’s heart that he thought was cold and withered over the years seem to warm in his chest. “He has been hidden for a long, long time,” Dorvane whispered as he leaned over Haldir. His hand moved to cup his lover’s balls for a moment, before he removed the matching ring from his finger. He’d put it on earlier thinking he might actually use it when he first came into the room. He fitted the ring against the fastening of the submission ring and turned it slowly. With that the ring released with a soft snapping sound and he saw Haldir visibly relax. Carefully, Dorvane removed it and set it aside on the bed as he leaned down and kissed the tender skin it had been wrapped around for so very long. “Never again will you know the pain of it,” he whispered as he sat up. “Do you want to have the honors of destroying it?” He said glancing toward the fireplace.

Shuddering as the skin beneath where the ring had held him for so long was touched, Haldir sat up and stared at the ring in Dorvane’s hand. He could never love the man, not after what he’d done to Faramir, yet he was grateful beyond words that now, Faramir was free, and now, in a sense, he was as well, if only free from the pain he’d lived with for so long. He took the ring and threw it across the room, where it landed solidly in the flames, smiling when he saw Dorvane’s eyes widen at the gesture. Everyone, Dorvane included, often forgot the strength the firstborn possessed, and Haldir could tell his master was only now remembering. Showing just how grateful he was the only way he knew how, he wrapped his arms around his lover and pulled him down, kissing him with as much passion as he’d ever allowed himself to show the man… which, considering this was now his role in life, was a lot, but not everything he had. “Now, shall we see if everything works the same without the ring?” he murmured against soft lips.

Dorvane’s eyes widened as he watched the ring fly true across the room and into the flames sending little sparks dancing in the air onto the hearth. Before he could speak though, Haldir pulled him into a powerful kiss that held more passion than Dorvane had ever felt before. He was panting heavily and already incredibly aroused by the time they drew apart again. “Oh yes… I think that I would love to see that,” he whispered in answer to Haldir’s question and moved so that his body covered the Elf’s as he kissed him again. There were no doubts in his mind now, so different than when Dorvane had first brought Haldir to his chambers after their deal. Then he had harbored many doubts but this… now… there were none.

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