Faramir Fiction Archive

Because of You (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

24 December 2008 | 98532 words

Chapter 3

Haldir was torn between wanting to ignore Faramir’s words and wanting to sit back down and find out more about his visions… and about Faramir himself. His decision was made for him when he heard heavy footsteps running down the hallway past their door, thankfully not stopping to check this, what should be an empty, locked room. “You put me in a difficult position,” he sighed, relaxing when the footsteps died away, and deciding to give the halls a few moments longer to clear. He sat down on the hearth, this time with Faramir still in his arms, and turned the young man towards the fire. “I would feel … guilty if you gave your life for mine, and then I died in spite of your sacrifice.” His eyes darkened as he looked back at Faramir and frowned. “I wish you had just looked away… or ignored your vision, Faramir. It would have been best for us both.”

“You are not in such a difficult position, is it really so bad to be here now? I fear that there will be plenty of this war still left, if Rohan finds victory by whatever miracle, where do you think Sauron will look next? You have plenty of battles still left, perhaps you were meant to do great things in the days to come. Besides, I am not dead yet, so I have sacrificed nothing but a bit of blood, bone and pain,” Faramir said softly. He looked up as Haldir frowned and smiled a little. “It was my choice, you should feel no guilt for it… if you were as bad as you claim… you’d feel nothing at all.”

Looking thoroughly indignant, Haldir scowled at Faramir and shook his head. “You are stubborn, Ranger, and are determined to see the good in me, are you not?” Another sound came from the hallway and without thinking the Elf pulled Faramir close with one arm and reached for his sword with the other. “I will admit you have delicious lips,” he whispered against Faramir’s ear as he kept a weary eye on the door, “and a warm, sweet mouth… but I am beginning to think you are stronger than I first thought you were. You are not only still breathing… but you are being quite ornery as well.”

Faramir smiled as Haldir called him stubborn but the sound from the hall worried him as well and he found the arm that he could move wrapped around Haldir, clinging to him. He was hardly breathing at all as he felt Haldir reach for his sword but then the words about his lips and mouth reached his ears. His pale face blushed and then he laughed just a little, regretting the action immediately as he groaned in pain. “Please… please do not make me laugh…” he whimpered though he still couldn’t help but smile even through the pain. He wasn’t sure why it pleased him so much that Haldir had enjoyed kissing him… but it did. Very much so.

“I can feel you smiling against my neck,” Haldir murmured, relaxing his grip on the sword when again, the footsteps passed by their door, half frustrated and half amused by the man in his arms. “And I find myself wondering if you are amused by the compliment or the insult…”

“We can settle on both,” Faramir said after a moment. One benefit of being so very cold was that somehow it seemed to numb the pain a little, but now that he was growing warm and drier, the pain seemed to start coming back even more intensely. “The pain is starting to get to be more than I can bear,” he admitted. “Do you think it is safe?”

The ridiculous and totally unbidden question of whether or not another kiss might ease Faramir’s pain ran through Haldir’s mind and he firmly pushed it away, startled at his own betrayal of what he knew was best for him. And in the realm of ‘best for him,’ no where did Faramir fit into his plans. In fact, he was the very reason those plans had failed thus far. Still, he was in pain, and though Haldir wasn’t exactly ‘nice’, he couldn’t very well yell at someone who was hurting because of him. The yelling could come later. “Aye… I think the halls are clear now,” he said, standing up again and making his way to the door. He listened closely for a moment, and then opened the door, stepping out into a thankfully empty hallway. “Do you know the way?”

“I only arrived here just today myself, only a few hours before you, but I believe that if you follow this corridor we will find the healers,” Faramir said softly. He wasn’t sure how he knew it, if it was a memory from the one time he’d visited the keep years ago or if he somehow just knew as he did a great many things in his life. Sometimes he hated that knowledge, other times he was thankful for it. He simply rested against Haldir and tried to focus on anything but the painful throbbing of his shoulder.

They stopped twice when charging orcs either chased or were chased down the corridors, hiding both times in conveniently placed alcoves that few men would have been able to fit into quickly enough. The second time, Haldir accidentally jarred Faramir as he tried to get them out of harms’ way and knew he’d hurt him. A moan would soon follow, and the Elf certainly couldn’t blame him, so he did the first thing that came to mind. He pulled Faramir’s upper body up and leaned down, pressing their lips together, swallowing Faramir’s startled cry as pain wracked through his chest and arm. It was more to quiet him than anything else, but Haldir found his lips lingering for a moment longer than necessary after the orcs had disappeared. “I am sorry,” he whispered. “I did not mean to hurt… or kiss you.”

The first time, Faramir felt his heart in his throat as the orcs passed them by, knowing that if they caught the scent of his blood they would be dead. Haldir could not fight them and protect him, not the way he was carrying him. When they next ventured out of their hiding spot, Faramir almost screamed in pain when Haldir jarred his shoulder against the hard unforgiving wall. Before he could cry out or even attempt to stifle it, somehow his lips were captured by Haldir’s. The shifting of his body again had hurt horribly but as soon as the pain faded, he felt the warmth and pleasure of Haldir’s kiss flood through him. It was longer than was needed, the orcs footsteps had long since faded by the time they drew apart again. He stared into deep blue eyes for a moment. “I do not believe you,” Faramir said softly, “about the kiss… I would if you had not made it so… pleasurable.”

Haldir, breathing hard for reasons other than having to run and hide from orcs, smiled despite himself. “I cannot help it if I am a naturally good kisser,” he retorted as he cautiously stepped back out into the hallway and moved toward the healer’s quarters. “Or if you find that you get pleasure from kissing random Elves that you feel you must save in the midst of battles, ruining – or at least postponing – their plans for hours at a time…” His words weren’t exactly nice, but they were tempered by the teasing inflection he didn’t even realize was in his voice. “I will be glad to leave you and your smart … but admittedly delicious… mouth to the healers.”

Faramir had to fight against laughing when Haldir spoke, and as the Elf continued as he walked, the young man found himself simply gazing at the blond wondering how serious he was and how much was bluster or teasing. He found that he liked Haldir, his beauty, which had captured his attention immediately, his strength, both of will and body, as well as character, and his sense of humor. “I find it hard to believe you have no lover… you spar as one would,” Faramir teased as they emerged from the corridor into a large room where wounded men and Elves lined every available bed, cot, and even blankets in the floor as healers moved among them assessing and treating each one. “There are so many…” his words trailed off sadly, his own injury worse than some but not nearly as bad as others.

Haldir’s grim laughter at his lack of a lover stuck in his throat as they looked around the room. Some of his own Elves were lying on cots, none he was a friend with, but many under his command. “By the Valar, they should have sailed,” he whispered under his breath. “I told Lord Celeborn that this was a bad idea… these Elves wanted to go to Aman…” Shaking his head, he looked away, seeing how pale Faramir was. “I need some help here!” His voice was loud, and he could only hope to catch the attention of one of the healers. “This man is wounded and in pain… Someone help him!” His voice, used to being in command, rang above the din of the room, and it seemed that everyone turned to look at him. “Someone do something!”

If the pain and blood loss were not starting to take a toll on Faramir he might have been amused at the way the Elf commanded the room. But his amusement was softened by his pain, and the sight of so many wounded. Not to mention the sadness in Haldir’s words had touched him. The Elf may claim he had no friends but he was still good at heart. These were Elves under his command and like Faramir would, he felt responsible for each of them. “And these Elves are not yet dead… they may still sail,” Faramir whispered as an offer of comfort as one of the healers approached.

“Gods, he is still alert?” The healer asked as he approached, amazed that the young man in the Elf’s arms was awake, though obviously in pain and had suffered a great deal of blood loss and a very deep and nasty wound. “Bring him over here, just lay him on that cot,” the healer directed as he began gathering bandages, healing herbs, and water along the way.

Haldir followed the healer with a wry smile, relaxing a bit when everyone who had stopped to stare at him resumed their activities. “He is entirely too stubborn to sleep.” The healer gave him a rather startled look, unsure of whether or not he was joking. From the look on his face, he didn’t seem like the type of Elf who joked very often, but he was exceedingly gentle with the man in his arms, which was surprising.

Haldir smiled down at Faramir and lay him carefully down on the bed. “Now, if you will do your best to heal quickly, and if I am alive by the time you do, I will grant you another kiss,” he teased, brushing the hair back from Faramir’s face again. “Otherwise, remember me by the kisses we did share, and I will do my best to forgive you for putting my plans a bit behind schedule.”

Faramir frowned as he looked up at Haldir, not wanting him to go but he had agreed to this. “I will always remember you, Haldir… but I wish you would not continue on with this ‘schedule’ you have,” he whispered honestly.

The healer had no clue what they were talking about and did not care. “Obviously the blade wasn’t poisoned,” he murmured as he looked at the Elf for a moment. “He’ll be well cared for… and his wound looks bad but it is not as bad as I first thought… his collarbone is in bad shape, I am unsure about that healing properly but they did save him from the blade doing worse,” the healer offered the words to Haldir even as he plied Faramir with a sleeping draught. “This will work quickly. You’ll sleep and the pain will go away for a while at least,” he murmured to the man, knowing that the pain would increase as he treated the wounds and needing Faramir asleep for it.

The potion the healer gave him was strong and his vision was already starting to dim. “I wish you luck, mellonamin,” Faramir whispered as Haldir’s image began to blur and he slid into a drugged sleep.

Haldir started to stand, and paused for a moment, allowing himself one last look at Faramir’s face. “I wish you luck as well, Faramir,” he whispered. “Though you should not call me your friend, not when I have only caused you pain. I did not mean to, but I am sorry I did.” With that, he pressed a kiss against the Ranger’s forehead, the first time he had ever done such a thing, and smiled. “Goodbye. I wish you well.”

A moment later, he was back in the hallway, his sword already drawn, ready to head back into battle, determined that this time, he would do what he came here to do, despite Faramir’s dreams or visions, or whatever they were… this time, he would die.

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