Faramir Fiction Archive

Because of You (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

24 December 2008 | 98532 words

Chapter 20

Shifting uncomfortably, Haldir shrugged, and risked a glance at his lover. “I… only told the truth,” he said a bit gruffly. “There have only ever been two things in my life worth fighting for – Lothlórien and the safety of the Elves who called her home, because it was my duty; and you, because… well, you know why.” He was stumbling again, wondering if Aragorn or someone else was eavesdropping on him, as he himself had done only moments before. “I should not have believed that you would welcome his advances, I know… I just did not take time to think. I just… reacted.” Giving Faramir’s hand a light squeeze, he met his lover’s gaze and gave a half smile. “So… you are not angry, then? We can pretend this never happened?”

“I do know why,” Faramir smiled and sighed in answer to Haldir’s last question. “I am not angry… I really should be you know but… its hard to be angry with you for loving me isn’t it?” Faramir moved closer and rested his hand against his lover’s cheek gently. “It only hurts that you would not trust me.” With that he stepped back and began to walk toward their chambers. “I think perhaps… we need to discuss that and that I need to find some way to make you understand that I would never under any circumstance wish for any others touch than yours.”

Haldir cheered up a bit, though he still felt terrible for hurting Faramir’s feelings. Almost meekly, he followed his lover back to their chambers and vowed to make this up to him and earn his forgiveness. As soon as they were inside, he gathered Faramir against him and kissed him deeply, enfolding him into his embrace as one would the most precious and fragile treasure, though he knew Faramir was anything but fragile. “You only want me because you know I am the best kisser on all of Arda, do you not?” he teased.

Faramir wasn’t sure what he could do to convince Haldir that he would never accept the advances of anyone else, not even the king, but he knew that he would need to try. It stood to reason having never had a relationship before that Haldir just… wasn’t accustomed to having to deal with such things. He couldn’t blame him, now knowing how he was trained and how he had lived his life. Unexpectedly he was gathered into his lover’s arms though and he sank against him, enjoying the deep kiss that made his toes curl and his heart skip in his chest. He laughed softly as his fingers threaded through soft golden hair. “Aye, I suppose that is a part of it,” he grinned. “Do you believe me when I say that I love you? That I need and want you in my life? If I did not we would not… share dreams you know. I firmly believe if we did not truly love one another the bond we do have would not exist.”

Nodding slowly, Haldir searched his lover’s eyes, seeing only honesty in their beloved blue depths. “Aye, you are right,” he admitted. “A bond can only form when there is great love on both sides… and since you are not of Elven blood, I can only think that we share a great love indeed to overcome the boundaries of conventional bonds. It is just that…” He sighed, but didn’t turn away as was his first instinct, and kept holding Faramir close. “It is just that everyone loves Aragorn. He is kind and gentle and all the things I am not. He is all that you deserve, Faramir, and I suppose that I am…” He stopped, swallowed back his uneasiness, and hated himself for his thoughts. “I am afraid that you would be happier with him one day… if not now, then one day in the future.”

“Oh love,” Faramir said softly and shook his head. “I do not see me ever having the desire to give up what we have. You cannot see what I see in you. Aye, it’s true you do frustrate me to no end sometimes,” he grinned. “But wouldn’t life be so boring if not? I love everything about you and our relationship and I have no desire to be with anyone else. The king is a good man and I do think he is lonely and while I’ll offer him my friendship… that is all I want to share with him.”

Haldir let the tips of his fingers trace over Faramir’s face and thought about his words. “Aye… I would have no desire to give up what we have either,” he said softly. “I do trust you, meleth. I suppose that… sometimes I just do not trust my ability to keep you loving me. I know I am not the easiest Elf to be around, let alone live with, so any doubts I have are more for myself than you.” Slowly, his hand slid to the back of Faramir’s neck and he kissed each corner of his lover’s mouth. “I truly am sorry. And I promise, it will never happen again.”

“You have doubts?” Faramir asked teasingly. “The greatest warrior on Arda has doubts?” He couldn’t help himself and shook his head. “I know you did not mean to hurt me, you were just… trying to protect yourself. It does make sense but just know that I will always love you. But I do accept your apology, love… though I think Aragorn is probably never going to ever even shake my hand again,” he laughed.

“Does he really need to?” Haldir asked only half teasingly, pulling Faramir against him once again. Resting his cheek on the top of his lovers’ head, he closed his eyes and simply breathed in the scent he loved so well. “I will never make such a public display of my temper again, especially before the king, but perhaps he could not keep you so late every evening once everything is back to normal? I miss you, and these rooms are lonely when you are not in them.”

Faramir smiled as Haldir held him close and he wrapped his arms around his lover even tighter than before. “I miss you too,” Faramir said softly. “I will ask him if it would be possible now that the reconstruction is underway if I can work just a little bit less now. I think he is worried because he has never tried to rule as a king before, he’s been a leader as a ranger and coming from a similar situation I can understand that he is probably overcompensating. If it were not for you in my first few weeks I might have gone insane myself,” he admitted. It was true, when he first took over the stewardship he had been completely lost, had it not been for Haldir’s strength and support during that time, Faramir was certain he would have failed spectacularly.

“Me?” Haldir tried to sound dismissive, but was actually quite touched that Faramir had relied on him during those first difficult weeks. “I was merely a distraction.” He lowered his head, kissing a warm, wet trail from his lover’s temple, over his ear, and across his jawline, stopping only when he reached the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Nibbling and marking the pale skin with his teeth and tongue, he smiled and then continued, sounding positively wicked. “Like this… I distracted you often, if I recall correctly…”

Faramir laughed softly when Haldir said he was a distraction, that much was quite true but a good distraction, one that took his mind off of his worries. Heat flooded through his veins when Haldir’s lips moved over his skin, his body always responding easily to his lover’s. “Mmm, you did… and you do distract me… but in the most wonderful of ways,” Faramir answered letting his hands move over Haldir’s back. He was impatient to touch him and pushed the thick tunic up to feel his lover’s warm skin beneath. It was the middle of the day, he still had much work yet to do but at this moment none of that mattered. The work would be there later but stealing time in the middle of the day with his lover was too good a thing to pass up. Gasping as Haldir’s teeth grazed his neck, Faramir’s head fell back.

As he was granted easier access to his lover’s body, Haldir’s hands began tugging at his tunic, then the lacings of his breeches, all the time keeping Faramir distracted with soft kisses to his neck or the sensitive nubs of his nipples as he quickly and efficiently rid them both of their clothes. He held Faramir steady and kissed him until they were both breathless as they toed off their boots, then moaned in pleasure when their now bare skin came in full contact. Not wanting to waste time walking over to the bed, Haldir simply pushed Faramir back against the wall, gently pinning him there as he kissed a trail down the center of his chest. One hand rested on each of his lover’s hips as he ran his tongue over Faramir’s already lengthening shaft, licking away the precome that was seeping from the swollen tip.

Almost overwhelmed with sensation, Faramir found himself breathing heavily as he was pressed against the wall. He watched his lover with heavily lidded eyes and when Haldir lowered to his knees before him that way, he felt his arousal jump, slick fluid already leaking from the tip. Gods, it always made him feel so important to Haldir when he did that… because he knew that Haldir had never done this with any other in all the thousands of years he had lived. He gasped and moaned softly as a warm tongue moved against him and he felt the heat of Haldir’s mouth surround him. Faramir’s fingers curled in the soft blond mane and he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from the sight of Haldir on his knees before him, his mouth around his shaft that way.

Haldir took Faramir deep in his throat, swallowing around his erection, and laving the sensitive flesh with this tongue, all the while sucking gently. As he pulled back, he reached toward the chest of drawers beside them, fumbling blindly for one of the small vials of oil they’d tucked in various parts of the room for occasions such as these, when they didn’t have the time nor the patience to make it to the bed. Gods, he loved tasting Faramir this way, he thought, loved the soft moans that fell from his lips and the little whimpers of pleasure that filled the room. As he slicked his fingers with the oil, he urged his lover’s legs apart with his free hand and slid his middle finger along the cleft of his backside, looking up and watching already dark eyes darken and dilate even further.

Faramir was certain that Haldir did not understand completely what he did to him. How much he wanted and loved him or how much pleasure he was giving him. His moan was low and deep when he felt a slick finger move against him and his eyes remained fixed on his lover as he widened his stance even more and found himself entranced by the look in Haldir’s eyes. There was no doubt how much he was loved, that much was certain, even if Haldir’s earlier words and jealous reaction hadn’t reaffirmed that. His body opened quickly to his lover, still slightly relaxed from the night before. “Gods, love,” he murmured as Haldir’s mouth sank down on him again.

The slick digit quickly slid deep inside Faramir’s body, burying itself to the knuckle. Haldir carefully added a second, then a third, all the while working the thick column of flesh in his mouth as his fingers worked at stretching his lover’s entrance. His own cock was aching and a single, large drop of fluid dripped onto the floor beneath them, finally causing the Elf to close his eyes and moan. He knew Faramir was close, so he avoided that small bundle of nerves that would drive his lover over the edge, simply pushing his fingers in deep, then drawing them back until they were almost free, then driving them back in again. Finally, he pulled away and kissed his way back up to the sweetness that was Faramir’s mouth, kissing him deeply. “Need you, meleth,” he whispered hoarsely against soft, full lips as he easily lifted Faramir onto the chest of drawers beside them and positioned himself between his legs.

Completely caught up in the moment, Faramir wouldn’t have recognized his own voice as he moaned and whispered words of endearment to his lover. His body accepted the long slick fingers easily and his hips moved of their own accord as Haldir continued to pleasure him. He whimpered when Haldir drew away and one of his soft moans was caught in his lover’s mouth as they kissed. He could taste himself on Haldir’s tongue and it drove his own passion even higher. “Gods, I need you too, love,” he whispered in response. When he was lifted so effortlessly he marveled for a moment at how powerful Haldir was though he was always gentle with Faramir. His legs wrapped around a slim waist and Faramir’s hand fumbled for the oil next to him. He reached down to stroke his lover’s hard shaft and help guide Haldir toward his entrance. “I love you,” he whispered as he kissed soft Elven lips.

Seldom did it occur to Haldir to say those words, though he felt them all the time. When they were making love, however, (and he no longer thought of it as having sex), the words easily fell from his tongue and he felt no fear or embarrassment in saying them. As his hips slowly thrust forward and he sheathed himself inside the tight heat of Faramir’s body, he tangled his fingers in long, dark hair and nibbled on his lover’s bottom lip. “I love you, guren,” he whispered, burying himself that final, delicious inch, and holding Faramir close against him as he gave him time to adjust. ??You have no idea how much or how deeply… ??

Haldir did not often say that he loved Faramir but when he did it made it all the more special, certainly never words that the young man would take for granted. And he felt loved beyond measure. Haldir was not the type of Elf to bestow endearments or constant displays of affection especially in front of others… but Faramir felt loved even when he did not do those things. It was in how he looked at him with those dazzling blue eyes.

Faramir’s body was completely open to Haldir’s, adjusting to the hard shaft within him and trying to steady his breathing as he clung to his lover. Gods, just that alone was almost enough to send him over the edge. He shifted his hips just a little giving him silent permission to move as his lips were otherwise occupied with marking his lover’s neck.

Haldir’s arms wound tightly around Faramir’s waist, holding him steady as he slowly began to thrust. His head fell back and golden hair covered his lover’s arms like a silk curtain as Faramir clung to him so willingly. After a moment, he tilted his head forward again, burying his face against Faramir’s neck, setting up a slow rhythm of deep thrusts, making sure the head of his cock nudged Faramir’s sweet spot with every inward thrust, then again as he backed away until he was almost free again. The air in their chambers was cool, but both of their bodies were glistening with sweat, sliding chest against chest, nipple against nipple, thigh against thigh. “And to think,” he murmured, nibbling on his lover’s earlobe as he continued moving, “I always scoffed when someone said they had met the Elf – or person – that was ‘made for them’. Gods, how you have proven that little statement to be true…”

The feeling of their bodies moving as one was always incredible. Faramir thought that it should be impossible for two people to be so perfectly matched but here it was. His head fell back as Haldir began to thrust, the pace starting off slowly but building with each movement. His breathing was harsh and irregular, broken only with soft moans and whimpers as they made love. He smiled and leaned his head toward Haldir offering him easier access to his ear. “We are… I was just thinking that too… how perfectly matched… we… are,” his words were broken as each deep thrust drove his breath from him. His legs tightened as his lover’s arousal dragged against that perfect spot inside him and his muscles tightened. He was so close to the edge that he was certain at any moment he would lose control. “So close, love.”

Slipping one hand between them, Haldir began stroking Faramir’s weeping shaft, tugging firmly each time he pulled out, then sliding his hand back down with each inward thrust of his own sex. Each time his hand would come up, he would slide his thumb over the leaking tip, gathering the fluid there and making his fingers slide more easily with each stroke. He moved faster and deeper with every passing second and was soon on the edge himself. “Now,” he managed, panting as he felt his cock twitch inside the gripping walls of Faramir’s inner passage and stiffened even further. With no more warning than that one single word, his balls drew up close to his body, and he thrust one last time, spilling deeply inside the man he loved, still stroking the organ in his hand as he did so.

Faramir had been certain early on in their relationship that Haldir had never really touched other lovers the way he did him. The thought always made him feel special and in the last several months he’d needed that feeling with all the pressure he had been under. Haldir probably had no idea the comfort he brought with such an action or even the way he teased Faramir sometimes. His mind however lost all train of thought as their passion built, everything blurred out except the pleasure that he felt. When he felt the cock inside him twitch and grow even harder he knew before Haldir even spoke the word that his lover was close. The feeling of his lover pulsing and spilling inside him was enough to drive Faramir over the edge as well, crying out as Haldir’s hand tightened around him and continued to move, dragging out his pleasure as his own muscles clenched tight around Haldir’s shaft milking it until he was completely spent.

Breathing fast and damp with sweat, Haldir leaned heavily on his lover, still massaging the slowly softening organ in his hand, though not touching the tip, which he now knew made Faramir squirm with discomfort. His touch was soothing and gentle, just the way Faramir liked it, and to his great surprise, he realized with a start that to give pleasure to this man in his arms had simply become second nature to him. He instinctively remembered all the places Faramir liked to be touched, and the places he didn’t; how softly or firmly, when and exactly how it would bring the most pleasure, and those wonderful, soft little sighs of contentment from beloved lips. Without a word, he released Faramir’s now spent cock and wrapped both arms around him again, then carried him to the bed, still buried inside him, though not as deeply and no longer hard. Gently laying his lover back on the bed, Haldir covered him with his own body and smiled down at him. “I think you approve of my distraction methods,” he teased, licking at the corners of Faramir’s lips. “Either that, or you are highly adept at pretending you do.”

Smiling as he was gathered in strong arms, Faramir simply tightened his legs around Haldir’s waist and held on as he was carried to the bed. He sucked in a breath as his lover’s spent organ moved inside his still sensitive body. Gods it felt wonderful to feel like it was a part of Haldir like that. He smiled up at Haldir and twisted a lock of golden hair around his fingertip. “I do not think I am that good at pretending,” he grinned. He sighed as his legs moved a little, his heel caressing the back of Haldir’s calf. “Do you think we can just stay here for the rest of the day?”

“Do you think I was really planning on moving so you could go back to work?” Haldir teased, though of course, if Faramir wanted to, he would have protested, but untangled himself and watched him leave. Faramir, he realized, had tamed an Elf no one believed tameable and in the process had not only saved his life, but often made him feel a bit romantic as well – something Haldir, and all of Lothlórien, had never believed possible. “Besides, after my rather rude display of temper, I am quite certain Aragorn expects you to either spend the rest of the day fighting… or making up… and does not plan on seeing you until tomorrow anyway.”

Faramir laughed softly and tugged teasingly on the hair wrapped around his finger. “You are a naughty Elf,” he grinned, “but most likely right… besides I do not think I would be able to focus on work after that anyway. I would much rather focus on you.” It was true if he had his wish he would spend more time with Haldir just being with him, though Aragorn had assured him before that one day soon that would be the case. It would not be soon enough though. “We could nap for a bit and then have an early dinner sent up… and perhaps… a bath. I wonder if I can try again to lick you dry?” He waggled his eyebrows just a little as he grinned.

Haldir chuckled even as he shuddered deliciously from the mental image. He would have loved to simply take Faramir away from Gondor, if only for a short while. He had the position of steward thrust upon him before he had completely healed, and had worked too long and too hard in the months since, despite the fact that Aragorn had arrived and their lives seemed to be settling down. A nice little vacation was what he needed, the Elf thought, already trying to figure out just when and where Faramir would like to go. “I would be quite disappointed if I had to use a towel after that suggestion,” he teased, gently pulling out of his lover and rolling to lay beside him, pressing a chaste kiss to his shoulder.

Faramir gasped just a bit as Haldir pulled away and settled beside him, almost grinning foolishly as he felt a trickle of his lover’s release run down his thigh. “Then no towels tonight,” he grinned and rolled to look at Haldir. He yawned and laughed a little. “More tired than I thought I was… I suppose definitely nap first…” he snuggled against Haldir and closed his eyes as he breathed deeply, his body feeling completely relaxed.

Letting his hands roam freely, Haldir kneaded the muscles of Faramir’s back and arms, smiling when he felt how relaxed he really was. “Definitely a nap first,” he agreed, cleaning his lover’s stomach off with the edge of the blanket, then his own. “Sleep well guren.”

Stifling another yawn, Faramir smiled as Haldir tended him so gently. Something so at odds with his personality sometimes that it would be confusing to others. Faramir knew him so well now though that he knew just what sort of heart Haldir had and what gentleness he did possess. Yes he was uncomfortable showing it, especially in public but when they were alone… Haldir was quite the sweet romantic sometimes though it seemed to mostly be unconscious efforts Faramir thought those were probably the most rewarding because they were unplanned. “You too, my love,” he whispered smiling as he snuggled in closer and threw his leg over one of Haldir’s.

Haldir was suddenly tired as well, his entire body becoming boneless as Faramir curled up against him and one leg moved possessively over his own. He closed his eyes and buried his face in his lover’s sweet smelling hair, drifting off to sleep as he remembered his embarrassing behavior in Aragorn’s office. He probably should apologize, but he’d never been good at those things, so… he decided to just grace the king with a smile the next time he saw him, and hope he would be satisfied with that. After all, not many people were treated to that other than his beloved Faramir, and Haldir had the idea that Aragorn probably realized that, and would understand the meaning behind it, even if he didn’t hear the words.

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