Faramir Fiction Archive

Because of You (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

24 December 2008 | 98532 words

Chapter 19

In the coming weeks the final push of the war came to Minas Tirith and much of the lower levels of the city were destroyed. Aragorn and his party, along with the Rohirrim arrived just in time to keep the city from being completely overrun. The battle was swift and many died. In the end good overcame evil, two little hobbits saved them all… and in the weeks that followed, healing and rebuilding began.

Aragorn took his place as king and Faramir handed over many of the daily tasks of running Gondor to him, though Aragorn did ask him to continue as steward and asked that he oversee much of the reconstruction of the city.

On many occasions the two men had to work closely, long hours pouring over documents and trying to decide the best course for Gondor and her people. Haldir continued to help Faramir but often the young man was sequestered in the king’s study working.

The two were standing at the window looking out at some of the reconstruction when Aragorn turned to the man beside him. “There are times when I look at you that I see Boromir,” he said softly.

Faramir smiled wistfully. “That is a great compliment, sire.”

Haldir had just been hoping for a moment of Faramir’s time to look over the last of the reports he’d been working on. He had little hope of finding his lover in his study, however – it seemed that every time he turned around, Faramir was with Aragorn. He’d thought it would be a huge relief to have the king return to Minas Tirith, but now Faramir seemed to work more than ever. On one level, Haldir understood it, on the other; he wanted their lives back.

As expected, Faramir wasn’t in his study, or the library or the council room. Of course he would be in Aragorn’s study, the Elf thought darkly. He didn’t know why he even bothered going anywhere else first. As he walked toward the doorway, he noticed it was open and keen Elven ears caught Faramir’s response. That is a great compliment, sire.

Haldir couldn’t help it. He rolled his eyes and frowned, thinking that Aragorn, while entirely too friendly for his tastes anyway, had seemed to be especially friendly and sociable toward Faramir. He had to admit the new king was kind, thoughtful, and, having been raised amongst the Elves, intelligent and gentle as well. In short, everything Haldir himself was not. He stopped just outside the door, telling himself he was giving his reports one final glance before he gave them to Faramir, but he knew deep in his heart what he was really doing… eavesdropping.

Faramir sighed as he thought of his brother and leaned against the balcony. “I miss him,” he admitted softly.

Aragorn nodded beside him. “I do too… he and I had… grown close on our travels,” the dark haired man said looking off in the distance.

“He would have been a better steward than I am… he was trained for it. I am afraid that I am just stumbling along,” Faramir said after a moment and then cleared his throat. “Forgive me… I should not have said that.”

“No, no it is all right,” Aragorn said after a moment. “If you were absolutely certain about everything I might question if you were right for the job. I could not ask for a better steward.”

Haldir gritted his teeth and thought that his hands would fit rather nicely around Aragorn’s throat. He knew Faramir was a good steward, and wanted to be happy that the king thought so as well, but there was something about the low, soothing quality of Aragorn’s voice as he complimented Faramir again and again… and again. He wants him. The only being I have ever in my life loved, and someone else wants him… how can this be happening? Can he not get someone who isn’t already taken? Frowning, he silently pushed the door open a bit and looked across the room. Gods, does he have to stand so close like that? And can Faramir not move away?

“I must be very right for the job then because I am very, very uncertain,” Faramir teased a little and Aragorn laughed.

“Under the circumstances… I think we are all a little uncertain. I avoided who I even was for years because of uncertainty,” Aragorn explained. “But you… you have lost so much… and yet you can still smile and laugh… none of it has broken your spirit. I very much admire you for that, Faramir.” As he spoke the last, Aragorn reached out and rested his hand on Faramir’s arm, caressing it reassuringly as he spoke. “Every time I see you smile I remember what we fought so hard for… Gondor’s people are stronger than anyone could have imagined and you are a testament to that.”

Faramir had no idea how to respond and simply stood there for a few moments staring at the work being done in the distance. He finally settled on the simple phrase of “Thank you.”

Haldir’s mouth dropped open as Aragorn touched Faramir and he simply stood in shock for a moment, noting that Faramir didn’t even try to move away. Just as his lover was answering the king, the Elf lost what little self-control he had. Thrusting the door open so hard it banged against the cold stone wall behind it, Haldir strode into the room, face flushed and eyes blazing, throwing the papers he’d worked so long and hard on, on the king’s desk. He was livid, and made no effort to hide it from either Aragorn or Faramir. “By the Gods, if you are going to try and seduce him, Aragorn, you might at least close the door first!”

Faramir jumped when the door crashed against the wall behind them and he stood for a moment simply gaping at his lover. “Seduce me?” Faramir blurted in shock and looked at Aragorn beside him. ??Gods… why would he think that? Aragorn was just being kind is all… ?? Then he remembered Haldir’s reactions in Rohan to the young healer and his friend Emil. After all this time Haldir was still jealous of others even though Faramir had told him over and over again that he loved him?

The king’s eyes were wide as he stared at the Elf and shook his head quickly. “I am afraid you are mistaken, I was not trying to seduce him, Haldir,” Aragorn answered carefully, seeing just how angry the Elf was. Yes, Aragorn was confident in battle but he certainly did not wish to tangle with an angry Haldir.

“Yes, seduce you,” Haldir snapped at Faramir, glowering. “And do not tell me this is like Emil! He is not one of your Rangers!” Before Faramir could answer, Haldir turned his attention back to the King. “And you! Always touching him, always demanding his time… you want him so badly you can hardly think, do you not? Endless meetings in your study, endless late nights, and did I mention that you are always touching him?” He moved closer, stopping only a hair’s breadth away from Aragorn, shaking with anger. “Well, let me tell you this, sire, you might spend your every waking moment dreaming of bedding him, but you will never love him like I do, you will never know what it’s like to have someone see inside your heart, see the darkness there, and love you despite that darkness, and by the Gods, I will fight for him with more strength and power and absolute devotion than you ever thought of fighting Sauron with!”

Faramir started to open his mouth to argue but Haldir had turned his attention to the king and began dressing him down as a commander on a battle field it seemed. But when Haldir moved closer, Faramir found himself unable to be angry or even insulted because Haldir’s next words quite simply melted his heart.

Aragorn’s eyes widened and he forced himself not to shrink back as Haldir moved closer. He knew better than to show weakness to an Elf trained by Lord Celeborn himself. He could not believe his ears though of all the beings on Arda, he would have never thought of hearing Haldir speak of love in quite that way. He shook his head. “I do not want him, Haldir… well I do want him as my steward and my friend but not in the way you think. He does remind me of his brother who… who was in fact my lover. I loved Boromir greatly… but I do not wish to share that with his brother. Only his memory… I swear to you that is all.”

Shocked to hear that Aragorn and Faramir’s beloved brother had been lovers, Haldir’s mouth fell open for a moment, then quickly snapped shut. The king’s intentions had seemed so obvious a moment before, but now… he was no longer quite as certain. Aragorn certainly looked sincere. His anger abated somewhat, and he took a step back, looking from Aragorn to Faramir and back again. “Well… just so you know,” he said, now having to force himself to sound angry. “I love him… and I do not like to see him pawed at. He was seriously injured not too long ago, and your constantly touching him might… might cause him harm.” He was feeling distinctly embarrassed now as he backed toward the doorway. “And… if your intentions change, know that I am watching… and I will always fight for him, with my every last breath, for as long as I live.” Turning his gaze toward Faramir he had the grace to look a bit sheepish. “And… and here is the report you wanted, meleth. On Ara… the King’s desk. Good day.” With that, he stiffened his back, put his usual disdainful look on his face and with as much dignity as possible, headed out of the room.

Faramir saw the embarrassment in Haldir’s eyes and felt badly for him. It may have seemed the way Haldir saw everything if he had been the one witnessing it. At any rate he wasn’t angry with him that was for certain, he was touched that Haldir loved him that much to stand up even to the king and what he’d said… Gods, Faramir could not believe how loved his words made him feel. “Haldir… Haldir wait,” he said after a moment. “Excuse me, sire… I need to…” Aragorn nodded understandingly as Faramir headed out of the room after his lover. “Haldir… love, wait, please,” he said walking quickly to catch up with his lover.

The Elf’s face was flushed again, though this time not with anger. He’d made a fool of himself, and now he’d upset Faramir. When would he learn to control his legendary temper and stop jumping to conclusions? He slowed, then stopped, looking straight ahead, ready for Faramir’s anger, and knowing that he deserved every bit of it. “I am sorry. I had no right, I know. I just saw him… touching you and…” He paused, sighed and kept staring ahead, down the empty hallway. “I am sorry, Faramir.”

“You know I really should be angry,” Faramir said softly as he noticed Haldir wouldn’t even look at him. “I should be upset that you’d believe that I would accept advances if they were made. I told you once just because I gave myself easily to you I do not do so with others… and I should be hurt that you do not believe I love you enough to not want to be with another. The only problem is… you said some things… that I doubt you thought were sweet at all but they nearly melted my heart and made me love you even more though I am not sure it is possible,” Faramir finally stopped speaking and reached out to tangle his fingers with Haldir’s. “I should be angry but hearing that you love me that much… makes it very hard to be.”

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