Faramir Fiction Archive

A Change of Heart (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

03 March 2006 | 41243 words

Chapter 7

Faramir and Haldir spent the rest of the winter in the little cabin in the woods, watched all the snow melt away, and felt the weather warm. With the coming of spring they were able to get out of the cabin more and even used what few seeds were left in the cabin to plant a small garden. Since it was still early in the season though, they still had to hunt for food, and more often because there was no snow to keep the food fresh.

They discovered a small stream that wasn’t far from the cabin to draw water from as well and settled into a routine, just the two of them in their own little world, it seemed.

Having finished the last of a stew the night before, they decided to go hunting for the day and set out early from the cabin. Faramir found – just as he thought he might – that he enjoyed hunting with Haldir at his side. They walked through the leaves still damp with morning dew as silently as possible when they stopped near a clearing where they had seen rabbit tracks the day before.

“If we aren’t able to get anything today, we can always pick some of those berries we spied earlier,” Faramir whispered as he looked over at his lover.

Haldir smiled and nodded. In all his years, he’d never been happier than he had been since he’d been with Faramir. The only worry in his heart was that Lord Celeborn would refuse to allow Faramir to live in Lórien. That, in itself, wasn’t the most horrible thing that could happen. Not being allowed to live in the Golden Wood would be nothing compared to the look he could imagine on Faramir’s face at being turned away from the very race he had learned so much about in the past months and was willing to live among in the coming years.

He had trouble dragging his eyes away from Faramir and reached out to rest a hand on his lover’s back. “I hear something, but it’s too far away for me to tell what it is exactly,” he whispered. “The forest is… eerily silent around us, for some reason. I think those berries are sounding better and better.”

Faramir turned slightly to look at Haldir and though he tried to listen, he knew his hearing wasn’t as good as his lover’s, but Haldir was right. It did seem… odd. When they’d first set out from the cabin, the normal noises of the wood had surrounded them. Birds chirping, the fresh green leaves dancing in the breeze, but now… it seemed like a blanket of silence had fallen over the wood. “I think you’re right, love. Why don’t we head back? It does feel strange today. Maybe a storm is brewing?” he added offhandedly since he couldn’t quite place what was wrong. He thought perhaps he imagined the silence until Haldir had mentioned it.

Haldir reached for his lover’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Could be,” he agreed, as his eyes searched the trees around them. “I just… something doesn’t feel right. Maybe we can just go back home and eat our berries, at least until this… storm, or whatever it is, passes.” Slowly, he brought his gaze back to the blue eyes before him. His heart pounded in his chest, but he couldn’t say why, exactly. He tried to keep his smile light, even as he gently tugged Faramir down the path they’d just taken. “We should… hurry, love. Just… in case.”

Faramir could tell that Haldir sensed far more than he could, and he turned with his lover as they walked quickly back toward their home, hand in hand. Though something seemed odd… he wasn’t sure what it was. Moving alongside his lover he kept his voice quiet. “Can you hear anything?” he asked. His own ears could pick up nothing, and that was what worried Faramir the most. There should be sounds in the forest, but there simply were none besides their own footsteps on the damp leaves.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Haldir listened carefully. The silence was still heavy around them, yet at the same time, he thought he could hear… something at the very edge of the forest. Pulling Faramir closer, he stood perfectly still and closed his eyes, concentrating on the noises in the distance. With every passing moment, the noise grew louder, though it was still far away. “Orcs,” he whispered breathlessly as he opened his eyes and stared at his lover. I will not lose you, meleth… I just found you, and I cannot live without you by my side. I will die before I let them hurt you. “We need to run… quietly and quickly. They are coming this way!”

When Haldir pulled him close, Faramir held his breath for a few moments while Haldir attempted to listen to the virtual silence around them. When he whispered the word ‘orcs’, Faramir felt his heart nearly stop in his chest. He had been lucky to survive unscathed his last encounter with the foul creatures, and Haldir had been badly hurt. He wouldn’t allow that to happen again. He nodded as Haldir whispered, and they began to run through the woods as silently as they could. Faramir did not have the advantages that Haldir had in being able to travel through the leaf-strewn forest in silence. His heart seemed to be beating twice as fast as it should for their speed, and he knew it wasn’t from exertion – it was from fear. Fear of losing Haldir.

Haldir kept a firm grip on Faramir’s hand, urging him along as fast as he possibly could go. “Hurry, love,” he whispered, his breath ragged – not from exertion, but from fear. “They’re gaining on us.” His leg throbbed at the memory of this last encounter with an orc… but it was a fate he’d gladly suffer again if only it meant they wouldn’t harm Faramir.

Faramir sped his pace to match Haldir’s as they ran. Suddenly he felt Haldir’s hand tighten on his, and he looked up to see smoke billowing through the trees from the direction of the cabin. He swallowed hard as the realization hit him – they were surrounded. If there were orcs at the cabin and behind them… it was just like it had been the day his men had been ambushed. “We cannot run forever,” he whispered even as his breath seemed to catch in his chest. All winter and this early part of spring they’d seen no one, no hunters, no orcs, no one at all in the forest around them until now. It seemed like something out of a nightmare as he realized they could both die today. He was tempted to suggest they split up, and he could lead the orcs away from Haldir, but he knew from the look in his lover’s eyes that he would never agree to such a thing.

Haldir closed his eyes for a moment and nodded in resignation. Faramir was right. They couldn’t keep running. As much as he prayed to the Valar to spare the small cabin they’d been calling home, he knew it would mean nothing if they weren’t together. He slowly opened his eyes and gazed around them, stopping when he saw a large boulder just to their right. Tugging his lover toward the stone, he leaned back against it and listened closely. They were surrounded… and the orcs, though still a few minutes away, had blocked any path of escape. He wrapped both arms around Faramir’s waist and held him close, breathing in his scent and trying to convince himself that they could fight their way out of this. “I love you, meleth,” he whispered. “And I will not let them part us.”

Faramir sank into his lover’s embrace and fought to catch his breath from their sprint through the forest. “I love you too,” he whispered in return and let his hands move along his lover’s back for a moment feeling the strong muscles tense with anticipation. “We… will get through this together, love,” he said, pressing his lips to Haldir’s briefly, wanting his last memory to be of his lover if they should be killed. He shivered at the thought and drew away to look into Haldir’s eyes, which were lit with the same fear he knew was in his own.

Blinking back his tears, Haldir nodded and lifted one hand to let the back of his fingers brush over his lover’s face. “Together,” he repeated, leaning forward and resting his forehead against Faramir’s. “Be careful. We have to save our strength, meleth. We have a long walk to Lórien ahead of us since those vile creatures have destroyed our home.”

Faramir almost startled when Haldir mentioned walking to Lórien. He still doubted that he would be accepted there, but now they had no other choice. Going back to Gondor was simply not an option, and now that their home was destroyed, they had no other choice left. They could rebuild here or somewhere else, but they would always be at risk of coming under attack. There was always safety in numbers, though he feared how the Elves of Lórien would react to him. His hands moved up to cradle either side of Haldir’s face, and he smiled sadly. “You be careful, love… and I will be by your side,” he whispered. In life or death, Haldir. I’ll be by your side. They could hear the orcs moving closer and regretfully he pulled away to make ready for the coming battle.

Haldir had to bite his lip to keep from begging Faramir to simply slip away, to try and hide from the approaching horror. He knew his lover would never leave him, even if Haldir wanted nothing more in life than to keep him safe. “As I will be by yours, seron vell,” he said softly, reaching behind him for an arrow and getting a firm grip on his bow. He took a deep, steadying breath and moved to stand with his back against Faramir’s. “Here they come,” he whispered as the first creature came at them through a break in the trees.

Faramir took a deep breath as he readied himself and heard Haldir’s whispered words. He sent a silent prayer to the Valar that Haldir would be safe as he drew back and loosed his arrow into the first orc to come into range. The orc screamed and twisted as it fell and the other foul creatures trampled it as they moved forward. The battle seemed to go by in a blur as the two of them fought back to back, dropping the dark creatures one by one. Faramir’s hope was that if they both could not leave this wood today, that at least Haldir would. He still had a home to return to in Lórien should Faramir fall.

The orcs continued to fall from the arrows that sped from both Faramir and Haldir’s bows. These particular orcs, thankfully, weren’t as cunning as the ones that had attacked both the Elven party and the Rangers months before. These relied on brute strength and power and did little other than charge at the pair in small groups. They were armed with only short swords, clubs, or maces and needed to fight close to their enemy… something both Faramir and Haldir were determined not to let them do.

There were many, but by the grace of the Valar, both Man and Elf were able to protect each other as the forest turned from its eerie silence to embrace the sounds of dying orcs and arrows slicing through the air without pause. Finally, after countless arrows were spent and their supply was low, Haldir realized that the two orcs charging them seemed to be the last two alive. By the Valar, we might survive this after all! Thank the Gods he is safe!

Quickly, both orcs were slain, the one on Haldir’s right by an arrow through its neck, the other by Faramir’s arrow just underneath its left arm, no doubt buried in whatever passed for its black heart. Haldir stood breathing heavily for a moment as both he and his lover wearily leaned against the rock. The forest was silent around them once more, and he reached behind him to reassure himself that Faramir was safe. “I think… I think they are gone,” he whispered.

Faramir found himself grateful that these orcs had not been as smart as he first thought them to be. As he and Haldir worked together to protect one another, the forest floor was littered with dead and dying orcs, and it seemed that once the last two were slain they were safe. Faramir breathed a sigh of relief and moved to rest against the large rock with his lover safely at his side. His arm ached from the battle after long months of not using a bow for more than hunting. He turned to face his lover. He had one last arrow in his hand, his quiver was empty and Haldir’s only held a few unspent arrows as well. “I did not think they would ever stop coming,” he said softly as he braced himself against the large rock and felt the tension begin to drain from his body. He smiled at his lover for a moment, grateful that they were both unharmed, yet sad that they no longer had a home.

Haldir returned Faramir’s smile and wiped the sweat from his brow. “We have very few arrows left,” he said quietly. “I was afraid they would outnumber our ammunition.” Moving closer, he closed his fingers around his lover’s wrist as they looked around the small clearing that was now littered with disfigured bodies and stank of blood. “You are quite the warrior,” he continued, even as his eyes moved to scan the forest for more of the creatures.

Faramir smiled at his lover and shook his head. “As are you, love. And you have more arrows left,” he grinned. They’d both started with the same amount. Looking sadly toward the smoke coming from where their cabin once stood he sighed. “I wonder if there is anything left to salvage?” he said softly. His eyes were drawn away toward the smoke, and he did not see the injured orc approaching from his blind side.

Just as Haldir opened his mouth to answer, he heard the shuffle of feet behind them. One of the larger orcs that had attacked them had somehow managed to pull the arrow from his stomach and had crawled behind the rock they were sure had sheltered them from harm. Too late, Haldir turned and saw the creature lifting a thick club over Faramir’s head, his eyes gleaming with malevolence even as he drew a breath that gurgled with blood deep inside him. The club began its descent in the blink of an eye, and before Haldir could even think, he pushed Faramir to the ground and felt the club hit him squarely in the chest. Everything went black around him as he reached blindly for the bloodied monster, trying to bring him down as well and at least give his lover a chance to find cover. “Run, meleth!” he gasped before the darkness swallowed him completely and he knew no more.

Faramir heard something, but before he could move or even think, Haldir shoved him aside. As he hit the ground and rolled, the sight made his heart stop in his chest. Haldir’s body crumpled to the ground, and a huge orc almost fell on top of him. The creature stumbled and stood over Haldir with his weapon held in front of him and a triumphant sneer. In a fit of heartbreak and rage, Faramir barely had time to even think before he rushed at the creature. Dodging a clumsy attack and forcing the orc back and away from Haldir, Faramir drew up the final arrow in his hand like a dagger and sank it deep into the creature’s neck. The orc made a strangled sound as the arrow went through his throat and fell, almost dragging Faramir down with him. Breathing heavily, Faramir backed away from the dead orc, not even realizing the tears streaming down his face. He raced back to his lover’s side. He drew Haldir’s seemingly lifeless form up into his arms and clutched him against his chest as tears dampened golden hair. “You cannot die now… you cannot.” He repeated the words over and over again as his heart seemed to be ripped from his chest. “Please, love, don’t leave me now,” he whispered as he hugged his lover’s body against him. Leaning down, he kissed Haldir’s lips gently, lovingly and whispered words of love against them again.

The blackness settled around Haldir, and try as he might, he could not manage to move even a single finger, nor draw the slightest of breaths. Pain radiated from his chest, filling every space inside him, and he could do absolutely nothing to dampen or push it aside. He heard the sound of a body falling to the ground… surely heavier than Faramir, so it must be the orc, he thought, as even his hearing began to fail him. Haldir knew he would be seeing the Halls of Mandos soon, without doubt – something he had always thought himself prepared for, as most warriors were. But he was now fighting with all his might so he could stay by his lover’s side. Strong arms lifted him gently, and though he could no longer hear the words, he somehow felt them with every fiber of his being. Goodbye, love. I’m sorry…

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